Life is to short to argue all the time, he told me that he doesn't want to be with me anymore and that I bring him down. It felt like someone had ripped my hart out that second. I bring him down because I'm unwell mentally and physically. My illness has made me unstable and all I crave for is stability. I'm in so much pain and I feel so alone. I'm sick of going through so much pain with this illness. I don't no what to do for the best. I love him and I should let him go as he deserves happiness and a woman that he can take out and that won't be unwell all the time. He deserves a family that I can not give him. It's so hard having this weight on my shoulders all the time. I feel like I'm going crazy my hormones are all over the place. One minuet I'm happy then the next I'm sad. I will just start crying out the blue for no reason. I get anxious around people all the time to the point I can't say the right words or stutter. People judge me as I look ok but I'm in so much pain. I feel I have no one not even him because he don't want to see me in pain. I'm so scared I'm going to have a break down and my job is at risk because of this illness. I have horrible crazy thoughts of suicide the only thing that stops me from harming my self is my niece and nephews. It's tough, I can not go to the Drs because they will decline my IVF referral as I will be classed as unstable. I just want to be better and I want him to love me again. I am only 27 but I feel so old and fatigue. I need a break from my life but just don't no how I will ever get one as I am in pain constantly because of the endometriosis.
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