My Weekly Post

Hi Ladies, this week has been a mixture of highs and lows however feeling a lot more positive than last week. Having had a pain blocker two weeks ago which caused more discomfort and a relapse of my pain last week and all the doctors could say was to increase the morphine (zomorph) which I've been on for 10 months. Due to the length of time and increased intake of this medicine the side affects of constipation, high temperature, tender skin, a permanent thick head and then by the end of last week and earlier this week I felt like someone had slapped me round my head and face. Therefore I made a decision last Friday to take control and see how long I could go without the morphine, its been 6 days now and the side effects have gone. Although I'm having to the manage the usual pain in my right side and abdomen I'm actually feeling mentally more positive and I managed to go swimming on Monday and hoping to go again today. I've always been an active person and exercise really helps me mentally.

I've had another session with my counsellor over the phone and she is really helping and gives me good strategies to keep positive and sign posts me to relaxation methods. If you would like more information about what she has recommended, please message me. Also doing this post and reading all your stories helps too. There was one thing the counsellor said that I'm sure we all do this. I say my disease or my endometriosis but she told me to separate myself from this disease because its not me, it something we have to deal with in the best way we can.

I've also just starting drinking Aloe Vera gel and using the Aloe Vera heat lotion which was recommend from a lady called Rebecca from this forum. In addition to all that I've started the process of applying for alternative employment because I'm really struggling to cope with my job as a Business Lecturer due to this disease and the long hours.

I'm having my third laparoscopy on Tuesday and although I'm frighten of what the real reality is about how bad or the spread of the adhesions since my hysterectomy 8 years ago. I know its around my bowel and at the back of my bladder and suspect its attached to my kidneys or any other organ/s. However I need answers so then I can make more of informed decisions of managing this disease.

Make sure ladies keep doing something positive for yourself because as women we forever think of others (children, partner, family, friends and work colleagues) and how they most be feeling. We need to put ourselves first and I know this is not easy because I do this and the times I can't attend work and do everyday things I feel guilty, usefulness and letting people down. I find writing my thoughts and feelings down, also give yourself a brake and keep talking to your loved ones. I also write a list at the beginning of the week of things to achieve from walking my dogs to work related goals. Tick them off every time you have completed a task/goal and if you don't achieve ones because the pain is too intense then add it to the following week but be realistic.

I hope some of what I'm saying helps, take care and be kind to yourself because we are very strong women that are coping with this chronic incurable disease. Lots of love Julie xxx

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