Hey everyone. I am having a really bad night. I am sleeping so badly recently due to the pain. Unfortunately my amitriptyline is no longer working like a sleeping pill and I am lying awake for hours most nights in pain. I feel like adrenaline is pumping through my body. I can feel the stress this pain is having on my body. I have had a very difficult time lately with my recent increase in pain an hospital admission. I am just exhausted from all of this and finding it difficult to cope tonight. I am in a bit of an anxious state because I am scared by this level of pain and I have taken the maximum dose of all my painkillers. I can't even explain how exhausted and frustrated I am. I have coped with everything well, I think I am quite a strong person but some days are just very difficult. It really is pushing me. I have to really fight to keep strong, keep going and not let the endo win. I just can't believe this is happening, a year ago it was only just starting and I had no idea it would ever get this bad. My teen years were difficult for me for lots of reasons and I went through a lot. Now I am nearly 21 and being tested even more when I should be out enjoying myself! My boyfriend is sleeping next to me but I feel alone, scared and vulnerable.
Thank you for reading this and simply being here. We all have our difficult moments where we struggle to cope and it's so helpful to speak to others who understand. I hope you are all having a more peaceful night than mine! X