Well I'm on the waiting list again for surgery as the IVF clinic suggested I have my tube removed before we start treatment. But typically it's not going to be straight forward. In the words of my doctor it's major surgery because of the extent of my Endo. He said he would try and get me in ASAP but as he wants to operate with a gasto and urology team it may take some time to organise. In some ways I'm positive that we have a plan but I'm just so fed up. I feel that people are losing patients with me now and are not as understanding about how I'm feeling than they were when I was first diagnosed. When I have my week of agony I dose myself up and go to work as normal but sometimes I think that doesn't do me any favours as people think my pain can't be that bad if I'm going in. But they don't realise I'm rattling with all the pills I've taken and I just want to curl up and cry. Sometimes I think I should go into work without the pain killers so they can see what it's really like!
What I find odd about myself though is that I seem to battle on when my symptoms are at there peak but about half way through the month when I just have the general aches and pains I seem to have a bit of a melt down. Does anyone else or is it just me?
I think it's more of the emotional stress that gets to me, the tiredness and the not knowing what is happening or what will be.
At the moment every morning when I wake my hips and legs just feel really tight and ache and its difficult to know if its down to the Endo or not. My abdomen does swell quite considerably and I have read that painful hips and back can be due to how women with Endo hold themselves because of pain and swelling. Has anyone else found this?
I just feel like this is going to be a never ending journey. I'd come to terms with the fact I'd need IVF and then major surgery to clear the Endo at some point but I wasn't prepared for the major surgery I'd need before the IVF to just remove a tube ??
I get married in April and I can't even go dress shopping cuz I don't know when I'll be having surgery or IVF or if I'll have a colostomy or even be pregnant. It's just crazy to think there could be so many different outcomes.