New temporary job

Hi there

I have a new temporary job started last week, it's working for the council as an administrator, it's initially for 4 weeks. It's going ok just think I need to be more positive, if I don't understand something I darent always ask, they think I can do it as they leave me to it, I still suffer with anxiety bouts but I have had to force myself to get a job, I can't do with anyone being nasty to me. Hopefully I will be strong and be positive and overcome any anxiety I experience. I have been having relationship counselling but have had to stop due to me working, I do need to start it up again. I have found friends know what's going on in marriage but they want me to leave this marriage and start again because of the verbal abuse I have been getting, it's not so bad now but in the past it has been bad, it does have a knock on effect on who you are as a person and I think I have lost confidence both in professional and personal life which has caused me to be in and out of jobs. Now though I am determined. If things don't work out I can always try something else, it's like I can run away out of this job/relationship if I need to. Don't get me wrong I love my husband but he is controlling at times and he likes his meals on time but when I am at work he gets in before me and has to do the tea. He doesn't mind but he says it a woman's job. Mealtimes are stressful and it has had an effect on us. I am also caring for his dad in between who has had a hip op, I do it because there is no one else to help, my husband does help as well but I am there on hand. I just wish I felt in control of my life again.

13 Replies

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  • A woman's job? Tell him in that case it is the mans job to earn all the money and you will stop work immediately! Tell him it's also his resoponsibility to look after his own father, not yours. It seems he wants to have his cake and eat it too! Tell him is the 21st century, not the 1st.

    A healthy relationship is where the work is shared and not allocated on the basis of what sex you are. I presume he gets your home messy too? I presume he needs food in to eat? I presume he uses the toilet etc. so if you are working too he is not helping you, he is just doing his share. No wonder you don't feel in control of your life any more - you aren't. He is.

    It's up to you whether you accept his treatment of you of course. But if he was my man I would have shown him the door a long time ago. Or make him shape up to his attitude and stop being so controlling. .

    Good luck.

  • You are right Lilac, I put up with it, he works but I seem to be the one tied to the kitchen or cleaning up he is at the pub today - I have some peace

  • Like I said only you can change it if you are unhappy. You will get so fed up after a while that you will have to leave him or sort it out once and for all. But this could take years while you are wasting your youth and adulthood. Is it worth it?

    You deserve better than this.

  • Thank you for your kind words people do truly care it's nice to know

  • Yes we do care. xxxx

  • Hi Angelmarrow & congrats on the new job. Think of it as a 4 week interview for a permanent role. That way you've got more than a 20 minute slot to convince them you're indespnsable! If you're not sure about something & you ain't sure how to approach colleagues, say "This seems a little different to what I'm used to. Have I got this right"? But they'll be just as unsure of the "Newbie". But if someone's out of order just say "Excuse me"??!! Two little words with a profound effect!

    Don't think much of your hubby's attitude towards his "Better half"! If I said that to my wife @ meal time I'd either be wearing my Dinner or coming home to a note saying "Dinner's in the dog"!

  • Too right Finglas-Boy :) No self respecting woman will put up with that anymore. :) xx

  • Tell him to get His finger out !!!!!

  • :) :)

  • Are you taking any medication to help manage all the anxiety cause you are not to blame for your job history.

  • No Kobo not on any meds I have been on Citalopram ages ago but don't need them, I don't feel any better. I come home and feel so down, then me and my husband argue, I have lots to think about, we are going abroad soon as well. I would like to live abroad personally and get away for good. I am looking into it. Sorry I sound miserable.

  • Ok,so you were on meds ages ago, why aren't you on meds now? Was anxiety your only diagnosis?

  • I do suffer with my nerves a lot and I think I am quite a nervous person in general which is not going to change.

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