Mental Health Support
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Re: Yesterday's Job Interview

I have to say I was feeling very fortunate yesterday as I had been given the chance of another job interview. At first, I felt quite low at the thought of it but once I had got into the building and saw the office and the people and it was very "buzzy" I thought, "I think I could really like it here". Out of all of the places I had been to and interviewed for, and jobs I had been offered, this is the place I actually feel comfortable in!!"...And once the interview was over the lady said to me that she would either be in touch at the close of business yesterday (no call came) or today by the close of business (there is still just over an hour to go but I am not holding out much hope for a phone call!!).

Isnt it just like the thing that when you dont want something, it is what you end up with but when you DO want something, you cant get near it with a barge pole!!

She said if we received a phone call it would be with an offer of employment and if we received a letter then it would be to say that we had been unsuccessful. I had a feeling something was not right when she did not ask for the paperwork that we had specifically been asked to bring with us. (She asked me to bring my passport, 2 documents with my name and address on them and one document with my National Insurance Number on it). She took a photocopy of my passport but when I asked her if she needed copies of the other documents I was asked to bring she just said "no, but just hold on to them because you will need them" (now I know she meant I will need them for other jobs I need to apply for!!). There was an application form attached to the back of my CV which she had in her hand and I was not asked to fill this in either which I thought was strange. But the fact that at this time of the day, I have not heard anything speaks volumes!!

Feeling very disappointed and very sad!! :-( :-(

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Don’t be upset en, you went to the interview and did your best, you should be proud of yourself. There’s still time for them to get in touch, but whatever the outcome, don’t get discouraged.

It takes a lot of strength to go to interviews, I wish I had your strength! Fingers crossed it works out for you, you truly deserve a great job.

Keep your head up.

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Its well after time and I didnt get what I was hoping for.

Its been six months of "trying", being "upbeat" and "Optimistic" and I have had enough!!

I just want to sleep.....XXX

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Oh dear, sounds like another dissapointment. If it's any consolation I'm also feeling c***p. It's hard to explain but I have been supporting my friend (and maybe expecting too much of her; its complicated to explain but I got very attached to this lady) She's always telling me how her husband doesn't care etc and I have taken all of this in. We've been going to a choir for several months and we had a concert this evening. When I told her about the concert last week and asked would her husband or her son come she said no way would either of them come (well she gave me that idea ) and often when i say would he come to something like an appointment she says no because he just doesn't care. I have been chatting to a sort of "ex" "boyfriend" (but mainly friend) lately as he's been in a tight spot. He started texting me to tell me what he's up to what he's achieved etc. Anyway cut long story short this ladies husband and son came to the concert today and were very supportive. I know it's not the same thing but I texted my "ex" and asked would he come; he said he was too tired and have a great time etc. It's hard to explain personal intimate feelings isn't it but how I've been feeling is like i have no-one and also I felt her husband was treating her badly and now I'm thinking it can't be that bad; have I been "taken in" in some way the way my mum took me in and constantly told me how awful it was with my dad? Maybe it wasn't that awful???

I turned round to my friend this evening and told her "he does love you". I'm sorry but nobody who didn't love someone would turn up for their performance and dressed up as well and with son who came home from work and made the effort to get dressed up as well.

I feel a little bit cheated by this lady (may not be realistic but it's just how I feel) I've sort of let her affect my life so much and get me to the point where I feel I want to kill myself because she took an overdose and I can't help her, and now I feel she DOES have things in her life which I don't have. My "ex" would never make the effort to turn up for me. I know you can't compare as she's been married for 30 years and my "ex" I suppose I barely know compared with. But it just brings it all home, that I have no-one I REALLY HAVE NO-ONE (well I suppose i do have friends but I don't have that intimate sort of situation that she has with someone who is just there for me (Or maybe i'm being unfair and overreacting) and she DOES, despite all she says about them. I can see they are supportive. I feel like i've been too nice and fooled and all over the place to be honest. I still feel S... but less so actually as I think I was ruining my life for her. But now I don't know where to go or what to do.

Sorry Theresa I know i've completely hijacked your post and I could write all this in a personal message but I'm putting it on your post.

I'm sorry about today. You WILL get a job you know. Maybe even they may call you tomorrow. I'm sorry for all my stuff. Can remove and put in PM but what's the difference? People may as well know how i feel on here. I'm in a weird world mentally, very very low and have just been constantly S.... but now feeling like a bit of a mug and too nice as well. But where are the people to love me?? Where are they??? That's what I need is love and acceptance.

Gemma xx

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Gemma , I think you have been played. but for the life of me I can't think why. You have very good intuition , trust your feelings. You are a sensitive person, I think this woman is a parasite . Pam

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Ok, thanks Pam. I will think about that. It's an interesting angle and could be true though not deliberately on her half maybe. Food for thought definately.

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Gemma

Try not getting played, I learned I was no Salmon, now we are so cautious.

We were at the Funeral today we met people we had not seen for twenty years.

It is an eye opener when we see how people react, It is always a surprise the politics of different groups of people and their dynamics towards others out of a group.

Friends are cultured and never rushed I feel

BOBxxx

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In any case she wanted something from you and was misleading in regards to her husband and son. Deliberate or not it's the effect she has on you that could be worrisome . Pam

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I'm just so low. Not coping with life. Feeling in an unbearable trap at the moment. Can't live, can't die. I keep thinking about S.... and keep making plans but it is so frightening. Sorry about the intrusion. There is much more I could say but I'm not as there is stuff i have read about this wherein some places condone it but not here. I am all alone and in a terrible mess psychologically; it's like a living hell. Sorry all.

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All this stuff you're going through is preparing you for something. I wonder what it will be ? Pam

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En

It would seem they had a good idea who was going to get the job. All I can say it may not have been the job for you and the Office Politics may not have been that expected by You.

I would hate having to go for interviews now, I am very insular and now I feel being a Pensioner would not wish to subject myself to unresponsive people who do not have a polite nature.

It would have been nice if She had been honest with you and not wasted your time

BOB

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Theresa, I agree with Bob in everything he said (including hating the thought of going to interviews nowadays). They probably had somebody already in mind but had to go through the motions of seeing other people because of company rules. Other people's feelings are never considered in these situations - I know because I used to be the one in HR conducting the interviews and it was shameful the way the managers used applicants when they already knew who was going to get the job.

Try to be positive. You weren't expecting an invitation to interview so soon, and it's given you a bit of practice. Think about the cons of that job - the location for instance, which was not ideal for you. Something better will turn up, I know it. You obviously have a great CV to be selected for interviews in the first place.

(P.S. I still think that temping might be your answer! I know you're now claiming benefits but it's surely worth visiting a few temp agencies to find out how likely it is that they will be able to find regular work for you, so you can decide if it might be worth walking away from that awful Job Centre regime?)

Good luck my friend, I'm thinking about you a lot as your job situation is very similar to what I went through for years. xxx

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Very drunk at the moment.. Going to say my goodbyes I am an awful person.....My son deserves better... I am a terrible mother.. My mother was right., I have put myself in this position....Failure, crap, undeserved, stupid, unworthy, ...

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Please Theresa, YOU ARE NONE OF THESE THINGS YOU JUST SAID. I'm going to try and call you even though you say you're drunk.

Ok have tried. Hope you have just passed out or didn't want to answer. We all care about you on here. YOU ARE A LOVELY LADY and you will get these things in time.

Please get back when you are feeling a bit more rested.

Lots of love xxxxxxxx

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Are you ok? x

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Theresa, you know that was not really you talking there, don't you. I hope you're feeling a bit better now and have managed to put things back in perspective. You are a very good person who has had some horrible experiences in your life, like a lot of us. Also, you are only human with human failings, so please don't beat yourself up for falling off the wagon yesterday.

Do you know, about 18 years ago I realised I was finally burned out with trying so hard to be liked, successful, respected, loved for nearly all my life. I threw in the towel and withdrew completely from family (except for my husband and daughters), acquaintances (I had nobody I could really call a friend), I left work, and stopped being interested in anything except blaming myself for my shortcomings. I'm much better in my head these days but I still live a hermit-like life. I rarely go out and I find it very difficult to connect with other people. But even though I have never met you, you have been an exception for me. You are empathetic, supportive, funny and resilient, and I can relate to you, especially with your recent job experiences and the problems you've had with your son. In my case it was my sister who stopped speaking to me and my many attempts to reconcile with her over 13 years fell on stony ground.

Believe me Theresa, you are not a failure. You are licking your wounds and they WILL heal and your life will get better again. I know this because you are strong and have so much going for you. Be kind to yourself, you deserve it.

Lorraine xxxx

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