I feel like crying almost everyday now. I can't do anything I want to do because of it. It annoys and frustrates me that people just think I'm lazy. I feel like every day is worse than the one before but with each day I become better at faking happiness. My work is affected because I'm an absolute mess. Getting out of bed each morning is becoming increasingly hard and my motivation is becoming nonexistent. my mind can;t stay on one thing, it's constantly wandering, thinking about everything that is wrong and the harder I try to suppress those thoughts the harder they hit back at me. Then counsellors tell me to think positive as if it is as easy as flicking on a switch. If i could think positive then obviously I would be but each time my positive thinking circles on itself and turns negative. Worse of all I'm in a LDR which seriously at times just makes it all that worse. I feel like I'm destined to have my life a mess forever because right now I'm trying to do something about it but I can't picture the benefits.

Rant over.

2 Replies

  • Hi RJC,

    Its always sad to see yet another person join here who is suffering. You'll find a lot of support on here.

    Personally, I think you are definitely depressed and need to get this seen to. You need to see your doctor and be honest and truthful. Are you on medication? It may need changing. There is nothing wrong with admitting you are depressed - It takes a stronger person to face it than it does to hide it. Like me, you may break down eventually from trying to hide it. The mere action of admitting I had a problem and telling my closest friends lifted me up a notch.

    There are lots of different types of counselling too, so don't settle with the same one if you are not happy. I have had 3 counsellors and all of them said they would not be offended if I wanted to change. It's such a deep and personal thing that the counsellor is as important as the counselling they offer.

    Do some research, understand why depression happens. We are all different and your needs may be different to mine but that's that I did and it helped a lot. It gave me an element of control, that I was in charge of this illness.

    I hope this is of some help to you. It wont go away over night but there is hope. You have a lot of people here to help you through

    Keep us posted

    All the best


  • Hello

    Sorry that you are feeling depressed, you are at the right place here we are all very much the same.

    I understand you have had CBT and your CPN has not really got down to what your problem is. One of the main things with depression is to address the cause and attack each problem with small bites so you do not feel overpowered by those negative feelings

    You mention that your work is suffering and you are feeling unable to rise in the morning. At work, you are unable to concentrate.

    To sort your depression you need to ask yourself why are you feeling this way, (Depressed) .? You need to understand yourself, so I really need to know, why and what has happened for all this negativity.

    How can we help you?. We have some very nice people here who will listen and try and help. My depression is caused by Chronic Disability, so my depression is generally Reactive due to my condition.

    One other thing are you still taking medication ??

    Are you still having CBT ??