Hi just joined,

[Hull-trans]

Hi just joined, because I need help, depression is crippling me,literally, I can't even get out the house, I'm also trans female, going through the process of gender reassignment, on hormones, had problems with homophobic neighbours and people, all quiet for now though, I know they're not going to do anything to me because basically they're cowards, but I still can't open the front door,

I used to be so outgoing, and I've been in the armed forces, I used to do outdoor activities, now I can barely get off my bed, even to eat or drink sometimes, I'm also taking medication but just doesn't seem to be working, in fact I think I'm getting worse, my house is an absolute disgusting mess that I'm ashamed of,

[Anna0089]

Hi,

I'm so sorry your feeling like this it's hard when we feel our life is being under constant Judgement by others. The fact that you are on the path to the real you is amazing and something you should be celebrating. Hiding away and sinking into a deep depression is going backwards sweet.. keep in mind you havent come all this way to hide. I'm no councillor or Psychiatrist but I do know this you are worth more x

[Hull-trans in reply to Anna0089]

Thank you for replying so quickly, only posted few minutes, I know I'm hiding away, and that also gets me down, every now and again I say to myself f#%* them, I don't need their acceptance or not, and I'll be ok for few days, I'll go shopping, go to pub,see my friends, and then it's back to square one again,

[Anna0089 in reply to Hull-trans]

Is there something that triggers your mood off? Is it after seeing someone ore doing something?

Perhaps it's something you haven't noticed before?

depression is something that can effect the strongest of people, but the fact that you are looking for help is amazing. So many people would just sink into the darkness and stay there.

Do you think you could look into seeking professional help? I know that your GP will be able to put you intouch with someone.

Don't let the depression get the better of you Hun. Fight it! Just think of what you have had to go through to get to where you are now, that speaks volumes! Your a fighter threw and threw and this is just one more battle to be fought. X

[Hidden]

Hi it must take a great deal of courage to deal with homophobic idiots etc. but unfortunately there are a lot around though hopefully with the younger generations it will eventually die out.

When you can why don't you move somewhere where no one gives a damn who or what you are. Where you can be yourself and live your life on your own terms. Planning for your future like this will give you a goal to focus on and might help your depression somewhat.

Don't let the idiots win and hold your head up high.

[Hull-trans in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, I would like to move, but that to me feels like I'm moving because THEY WANT ME TOO, like I've let them win,

[Hidden in reply to Hull-trans]

In life you always have to pick your battles. Whilst I understand what you are saying, sometimes it's better to cut your losses and move on either physically or emotionally. I don't think this is one you can win.

It doesn't mean they have 'won', try and look at what is going to make you happier as that is what's important.

[sezzey]

Whilst I do not pretend to know what you are going through I have worked with a couple of young people going through gender reassignment. The hormones can affect you psychologically. As for depression am there but getting better. I made a huge change in my life and gave up a well paid job in education. I have no idea where the path will lead but paths always lead somewhere. You know that you have travelled a long steep path. Try tidying one room at a time don't look at the whole house. Small steps. Take care.

[Hull-trans in reply to sezzey]

Thank you sezzy

[sweetiepye]

Hi. First I want to remind you that any surgery can cause depression. Your whole world has turned upside down. You sound incredibly strong to me. I would get a room mate maybe just a friend for now so you stay independent . Dogs are good. Something to care for and love takes your mind off yourself. And be kind to yourself, you haven't done anything wrong and you deserve to be happy.Keep in touch, Pam

[Hull-trans in reply to sweetiepye]

Thank you pam,

[sweetiepye]

My pleasure, Pam