Hi everyone, I'm new, except for responding to a few posts over the past 2 or 3 weeks. This is a wonderful group.
I have Major Depression and was diagnosed years and years ago in my twenties. About 4 years ago was diagnosed with lupus and it seems I'm always in a flare of it.
For the depression I take 90mg of Cymbalta and for the lupus am on prednisone, methotrexate, and hydochlorquinine (plaquinil).
I come from a family of high achievers, and when I got sick
had to move back into the family, so to speak. I feel like a burden--I'm always sending emails to my siblings--about books they may like, photos---but they don't seem that interested in talking with me. In fact, I have perceived this attitude that's kind of condescending, kind of disgusted; not warm and I don't feel very loved or valued.
Every morning I wake up in a heavy cloud--wondering how my life could have turned out this way, feeling like a waste of space, panicking about what's going to become of me, and with a lupus rash blazing across my face (and my hair is falling out too.)
I need help with the mornings; it's like I'm waking up into doom.