"Take me drunk, I'm home." (I think I'm run-drunk)

[PaulS83]

This blog will be a step away from the norm. I will wind in the whimsicality and go for something as straight-up and functional as a pair of Nuns’ knickers. Of course, it will probably hit a 1.5 on the sensibility scale of a rational mind, but hey! I'm trying. Just this once though mind.

See those girls up there? They're my world. I was caught in two minds whether to post that picture or not as it's a bit over-personal, but I love it. Abi (the little cutie in the middle) has just started nursery and they asked us to provide a family photo for Valentine's Day so she could talk about the people she loves, so last week we all climbed into her little cotbed for a family selfie, including George and Rabbit.

It's obviously not going to nestle poignantly with anyone else, but I can't get the image out of my head.

I was blowing towards the end of my second eight-minute run tonight (W5R2), and remembered during one of the earlier runs that MJ talks about visualising the finish line to help push you through, and tonight, this was my finish line. As wet and corny as I know it sounds, the thought of these two waiting and watching for me to come will pull me across some tough kilometres and are my inspiration, motivation and prize.

I've turned my wife into something of a character in these blogs, which is (mostly) to fit the narrative and hopefully provide a few laughs, but the reality of the situation is that she's the kindest, most supportive person I've ever known and I'm ridiculously lucky not just to have her sharing my peculiar little existence, but to be mother to our daughter.

Christ. I am run-drunk.

Ta shi wo de zui ai.

A bit of Chinese there for you. Bet you didn't know that I spreken ze duetsch did you? Well, I don't, but I do speak (a bit of) Chinese. I actually spent five and a half years living and working there. Bet you didn't know that either did you? Don't worry though, I doubt it'll be popping up in any pub quizzes in the near future.

Anyway...what's the point I'm trying to make with all this? Ah yes, motivation. I was wondering what everyone's motivation is. I don't mean for just being here, but rather what is it that can pull you through the brick wall when your mind and body have handed in their notice and scarpered off with the stationary? Does anyone else have such vivid imagery?

Tonight, as I mentioned, was my W5R2. I see a lot of focus on here for W5R3 (and my oar will be well and truly dipped momentarily) but there's a stealthy milestone in run 2 that I guess a lot of people miss. When that halfway bell goes, you are 13.5 runs into a 27 run programme and thus halfway through the entire saga. Obviously, it's the foreplay half of the romp though, before the main action begins.

And it's about to begin.

W5R3. Everyone's on about it. I'm one of those people who, right at the start, clicked on every run to see what's in store. When I saw this one, I was naively excited and thought, "Well, by then all of those other runs would've turned my into a nimble, lithe Adonis and I'd be able to do it with a dwarf strapped to my back". It's only when you get right up against it and you're staring into its yellowing, bloodshot eyes that you realise you're in all sorts of mischief. I'm typing 'you', but I mean me.

I'm not ready for this. Not even close. This programme has led me up to the precipice and all the way there has been telling me I would grow wings. And I haven't. Not even nubs.

I run too fast, I know this, but all the jokes about wayward limbs and discombobulation aside, that's just kind of the way I am. I'm genuinely struggling to find a low rhythm and when I've tried, I seem to tense my legs up and stamp them down by way of restriction. Last couple of runs I've felt really good again, going at a pace that feels natural and sync'd. And, surprisingly, it isn't actually wreaking havoc on my thingamajig as much as you would've thought.

Er, for anyone reading one of my posts for the first time, my thingamajig isn't my thingamajig, it's my knee. I'm just bored of writing knee. Mine's the only keyboard in the world where the 'k' is worn out before most of the vowels.

But going back. When I was young, fresh and foolish (back in week 2), I got coerced into signing up for a 10K run in May. That gives me about 10 weeks to get there and I'm not even going to come close. My old shanty of a frame has already got a list of complaints that could fill a whole episode of Points of View. "Why, oh why, oh why, oh why".

When my colleagues signed me up, I thought I've got to run it, or not bother, but I'm sat here now thinking it doesn't need to be this polarised. I suddenly enjoy running so much that I feel incredibly guilty about taking that extra time away from the family. It seemed OK when it was chore, but now that it's become a hobby, I feel like I'm shirking my duties. But the good thing about it being a hobby is that hobbyists don't need be world-beaters, they just quietly enjoy what they do.

So what if I can't run for 20 minutes straight in a couple of days? So what if I end up walking halfway round a 10K run? Does it matter? I know that the people I care about will be waiting for me at that finish line and whether I sprint across, walk across or do a handstand and my shorts fall up, revealing something that would horrify a nurse, it's all going to be the same. I will have achieved something that I enjoy doing, with plenty of health benefits and they care about it because they care about me. That's why they're encouraging me out the door. I think.

I've dropped the pressure off. If I can't do it in a couple of days, I'll do what I can and go again. And again. And again until I can.

I do really need to learn to find that lower pace though. Two sets of eight minutes and it felt like I was looking through a kaleidoscope.

*PAUSE*

Paul takes the computer off of his lap and walks to the window. He parts the curtains just enough to that one eye can scan the immediate vicinity. He turns back towards the room and walks back to where he was sitting, shaking his head and muttering. He picks the computer up again.

I swear I can hear you tutting from here.

[angelbetty Graduate]

That was beautiful to read! Thank you for sharing.

I'm not entirely sure at this moment what my motivation is. It's something deep inside but I know it's there. Something just clicks I the blackhole of my mind which means I can do things I never thought possible. I would really love to know what it is but there is plenty of running time to figure that out xx

[PaulS83 in reply to angelbetty]

I think they call that your mettle. Some people, I suppose, can get through on determination alone. I’m not one of them. I need some carrot-on-stick coaxing across the line!

[ktsok Graduate]

Hallelujah.

Ok. You are forgiven. You have a very cute child and quite clearly you are married to the loveliest and most patient woman in the world.

😉

I did indeed note the halfway point in C25k. Not only at the 13.5 marker but in minutes too 🙃 I found maths helped me get through the runs in those far off days...

5:3 is the best. You are forced into finding the lower gear that you DO HAVE, for all your manly protestations.

Glad your thingamajig is playing balls.

😇

[PaulS83 in reply to ktsok]

🤣🤣🤣

My thingamajig is playing balls. A bit stiff this morning though. Wait...what?? No.

OK. So I now need to work out the minutes. This is very much something I do, and am ashamed not to have thought of it before!

[ktsok Graduate in reply to PaulS83]

I could copy and paste my calculations but I won’t spoil it for you 🙂

[SeeJillRun Graduate]

Fantastic post! And what a lovely family photo ☺️. At first my motivation was to do something to help shift the large amount of fat that accumulated around my middle when I was looking the other way. But now that’s only part of it cos the running itself is so much of my motivation now, I just love it so much! I find I’m disappointed when runs come to an end, n even though today’s run was really hard, never for a second did I think of quitting, cos even when it’s bad it’s so good.

And all the amazing people on here sharing their knowledge and their journeys with us are another big chunk of motivation too.

And finally my lovely daughter, who I’m driving crazy with all my running talk but who also loves how happy running makes me n wants to join me n find out what all the fuss is about 😁

[PaulS83 in reply to SeeJillRun]

I completely agree with this social aspect of it, it feels composite to the actual running itself. Reading up on everyone’s progress, successes, fears and faults really helps to keep me inspired and focussed.

Re your daughter, there should be a sister site to this one, for friends and family of new runners so they can vent their frustrations about us bleating on about it day and night, and invariably trying to rope them in.

[SeeJillRun Graduate in reply to PaulS83]

I’m sure I wouldn’t have made as much progress without the support n advice on here, n it’s great to be able to follow other people’s journeys.

I bet loads of people would love a community to vent about their running-obsessed family members 😂😂😂

[Tartancat Graduate]

What a lovely post - I think Mrs Paul is quite possibly a saint!

I don't know why I started C25K, because when a colleague first mentioned it I thought it was rubbish. Run for a whole minute, on the very first week? Not a chance! But months later I downloaded it, and here I am. I know what keeps me going- it's the challenge of achieving something I never thought I could do (yes, I can now run for a whole minute!)

So yes, you WILL be able to run for 20 minutes (thingamijig willing), and by the same token, you WILL be able to slow down cos you can do anything!

And that was me you could hear tutting by the way!

[PaulS83 in reply to Tartancat]

Mrs Paul is indeed a saint. I think most people gathered that when I got 2 posts in! Who else would have me? 🤣

I use a lot of literary licence in my posts, but I did actually wake her up once at 6:30 because I thought my muscles were growing!

I’m sure I will do the 20 mins, and I’m sure I will do it at my typical pace and destroy myself in the process. It’s hard being an idiot sometimes.

[Jell6 Graduate]

That is a lovely photo 😊

My motivation was to be able to walk up Lombard Street in San Francisco, if I ever went again.

The first time was definitely more stop than start (I felt physically sick, whilst my husband trotted up there like a mountain goat) we went again last year, I made it straight up, no stopping, not effortlessly, but extremely doable.....

I think your pace is your pace and its very hard to change, probably for the next run carry on with what you are comfortable with.

For your 10k you will probably have to make a conscious effort to reign it in, at least for the first few kms.

[PaulS83 in reply to Jell6]

I usually consider myself pretty worldly and well travelled, but have to admit that I just Googled Lombard Street.

Blooming heck, that’s like a bobsleigh track. Imagine coming down that on a pair of roller skates!

I’ve got to thank you for being my bastion every time I mention my pace. I’m sure you’re spot on with what you’re saying, and once I get more in tune with myself, I’ll be able to cycle up and down the gears accordingly. At the moment I just feel like Wile E. Coyote with an Acme rocket tied to his back.

[Jell6 Graduate in reply to PaulS83]

ktsok plus jell6 = ⚖

How can you go wrong? 🤩

[Millsie-J Graduate]

Brilliant post Paul...... this time I understood it right through to the end 😉Lovely photo and lovely family.

Please be careful with that knee, if you are having on-going pain you probably should see a sports physio. Sooner rather later, particularly if you want to do that 10 k!

Pace...... just knock it down a fraction, it will make a huge distance. For longer runs you will need to do that anyway, running 3k at full speed is very different to trying to do the same with 10k. Usain Bolt couldnt keep up his 100m speed for 1000m so I doubt any of us could😂😂😂.

My motivation has always been staying fit for my family, to be around as long as I can for them, living life to the full!

I havnt said this for a while on here but: -

‘I run because I can, and for all of those who cant’

Ps you will nail that next run, but just a tad slower will ensure you get there!

[Tortoise10 in reply to Millsie-J]

Hiya, just to say I love your quote and I will keep it in mind when I'm exhausted. I'm just onto wk5r2.

I found out on Monday a friend, my age, had died suddenly. I had thought on my last run about her and your quote is perfect, thank you.

[PaulS83 in reply to Tortoise10]

Good luck with W5R2. Don’t forget the milestone at the halfway bell and remember to do a little heel kick, or bum wiggle to celebrate. Mine was intended to be a heel kick but end up nearly nose diving a rose bush.

[Tortoise10 in reply to PaulS83]

I've just finished it!! Wahooo!!!Run 3 next😱😱 but can't believe I've just done this!!

[PaulS83 in reply to Millsie-J]

I’m booked in for one of those Mizuno Vimove Analyses things in a week-or-so’s time. I’m sure they’ll have a field day when they see my legs flapping around like half boiled spaghetti! I’m hopping it’s a case of correct footwear and maybe a decent running support to go with it. If it persists beyond this, I’ll book in with a physio.

[Ethelbert Graduate in reply to PaulS83]

Well if you've been hopping, that could be the problem ... 😜

[Irishprincess Graduate]

Aw what a lovely photo and you all look so happy it's infectious! Thanks for sharing it 🙂

We all fretted about the W5R3 run, I looked ahead too and when I saw this one I thought it was a mistake 😭 But you know what? The programme is very clever and each run prepares you for the next one so if you just run SLOWLY then you'll be tickety boo. Don't fret, you'll be fine.

My motivation is still the same after nearly six years, I want to live as healthily as long as possible, to be as fit and strong as I can be and I know I'm investing in my future health .... oh... and not forgetting the pert bum and rock hard thighs, that helps too 😉

[Jell6 Graduate in reply to Irishprincess]

😳🤣

[PaulS83 in reply to Irishprincess]

Wishing you a long healthy and ever-pert bottom and thighs that could crack crabs!

[molly1973 Graduate]

This is the first time I’ve found one of your posts, Paul: it seems I have missed a lot!! I really enjoyed week 5, and the joy at completing run 3 was better than any other, including graduation! I too have an iffy thingamyjig (also knee... shhh) and I know it’s an old injury that won’t change, so I manage it with lots of stretching and being very careful, however I too am doing a 10k in June (I graduated C25k at New Year so a bit ahead if you). I fully expect to walk some (?lots) of it, but I have another in November and I have higher hopes for that!

My motivation is being healthier, losing weight and giving myself headspace from a stressful job with a lack of work/life balance: it is helping. To keep me going after graduation I signed up for a virtual ‘run the year’ challenge and I’m raising money in memory of my brother. I never, ever thought I could really do this, but it seems I am! Enjoy run 3 and the rest of the programme x

[PaulS83 in reply to molly1973]

I find I carry a lot less work stress since running as well. The tangential effects of it are enormous.

Good luck with your challenge, and welcome aboard the Paul train. About as reliable as the real trains and as fun as waiting for 45 minutes on the bloody platform for one that doesn’t get cancelled.

[Redrum2]

Excellent post. Really enjoyed reading it this morning. I also went back to your first post. Very similar situation to mine, my doctor told me I need to lose weight, belly sticking out after years of bad diet - Coca Cola, alcohol and fast food. I saw that my liver enzyme was high - so that kind of scared me and motivatied to change my lifestyle. I have two small boys and to take care of them, I need to look after myself. Be really happy to lose the belly fat and gain a six pack.

Look forward to reading all your posts - past and future. Very inspiring but even I don’t think I can fit in getting up at 4am.

[PaulS83 in reply to Redrum2]

The getting up at 4am didn’t last more than 3 or 4 weeks. It got a bit much and was taxing on me pretty noticeably, so I’ve shifted to the evening which cuts into my precious time before littl’un gets off to bed. We’re pushing it later and later just so I can spend a bit of quality time. Hence feeling a bit guilty that I’m enjoying so much!

[ThermoWoman]

Excellent thank I enjoyed reading this. I used to do lots of running, 5k, 10k and a half marathon. But that was back in my 40’s. So now just 7 months away from 60 I wanted to get back to running. I am about to do my W3R2 today and am dreading it. I feel like I am plodding and that my brisk walk is actually faster than my jog! So reading this has given me encouragement that we all feel different things regarding our fitness levels. Keep on jogging & blogging 😊

[PaulS83 in reply to ThermoWoman]

Thanks T’ermoWoman. I’m never normally an inspiration 🥴🥴🥴! Good luck with your run!

[Islerunner]

I’ve just done W5R3 this morning (yay!!) and still feel slightly shocked that it happened. Never ever thought I could run that long.

My motivation comes in three parts: the first and always the most important is an attempt to make my beautiful 24 year old daughter proud. She has just started training to be a vet nurse and I’m so in awe of her! My second motivation is to stay alive. I’m 53 and very conscious of the need to keep fit to keep going. And my third motivation?? Well, there’s this guy 😊. He’s a mate, we’ve had our moments, but right now he’s not interested in anything else. Thing is, he runs marathons, he’s a machine! So you see where I’m coming from? I love it when he says ‘well done’ when I’ve completed another week 😊😊. I’ve no idea if this not very subtle tactic will work in the wooing world, but hey, it’s keeping me fit and my daughter informed me the other day that I ‘can be quite solid’ when I put my mind to it! I think that’s a compliment 🤔

[PaulS83 in reply to Islerunner]

Oi, you! I’ve sent up three flares in the last week, what happened? You were going to come and get me!

Haha 🤣 that sounds like a compliment. I think. Good luck with the wooing. I couldn’t use this as any form of woo. Too much sweat, too many tears! Hope the machine sees some sense!

[UnfitNoMore Graduate]

Only just read this... a wonderful read... and you’re absolutely right... if you walk half that 10k in May, you’ve still done 10k... and that will probably be one of many such runs... with that same beautiful family waiting to tell you how proud of you they are... and each training run and event run you do will continue to extend your life expectancy, allowing you to watch Abi accomplish all her dreams for longer.

My motivation starting this was to increase my fitness and also replace the cigarettes with a better addiction. Currently I’m aiming to run a marathon just to prove an old friend wrong, and then it’s going to be all about watching my girl grow, and hopefully her kids... maybe I’ll even meet their kids.