C25K and depression/disassociation

[Squeakypoptest]

Did C25K W3R3 yesterday. And today I ran for a bus, which might seem a small thing but is a big thing for me. Mental health better for several hours after each run but on my rest days I seem to be getting deeply depressed about beginning to let go of my larger, protective and more static body. Running makes me be more present, and that's hard after a life of disassociation. Does anyone else get this? Cardio definitely already having a positive impact. R ankle v slowly getting stronger. Keeping going.

[bitseybloom Graduate]

Hello Annacarlile.

I think maybe I partially understand what are you talking about. I don't know your situation, but I personally felt similar after starting to battle Alexithymia and an eating disorder I've had for years. It's been about two years now. I keep getting overwhelmed with quite strong and not always pleasant feelings. Running and the post-run high feel like a short rest from all this mess.

But the bright side is, now I usually know what's happening to me and why, and therefore, what can be done about it.

I hope one day you'll find these changes you're going through were for the better.

[Squeakypoptest Graduate in reply to bitseybloom]

Thank you. I'm going to try not to run away from my feelings this time around... perhaps we can run through them instead? That's my hope.

[Elfe5 Graduate]

You are doing brilliantly. I don't know anything about disassociation, but I do know that I benefit from a different kind of exercise on rest days -I usually walk, cycle or do Pilates. I find it really helpful not to question the exercise but just to do it as part of daily life. That means the question I ask myself on a rest day is "What exercise will I do today? When will I fit it in? Where will I go?" - Never "Will I exercise?" unless I am ill.

Enjoy the C25K journey- it brings so many benefits. 😀

[Squeakypoptest Graduate in reply to Elfe5]

Ah that's useful. I've got a doable Pilates routine I might try