This is my first post but I'm actually on W4 R2. I am pushing myself to go out every other evening (mostly) and actually feel ok (ish) about the runs. It hasn't been terribly hard and I know I'm getting stronger but I feel so nervous before each run. I have butterflies and feel that nervous that my brain tells me that this one might be really difficult and it's always so cold, so I feel on the cusp of not going out.
I do eventually go out and feel great afterwards and I'm then really motivated but I find that the little man is back on my shoulder again before the next run. I have only been able to run of an evening because it's been easier to push myself to go when my husband is in from work, as I'm trying to inspire him to run again. However, I wish I could get the run done earlier in the day as it's warmer and less bother having to hold off from having my dinner.
I only had a banana and water this morning, with the intention of running this morning but couldn't push myself. Although I will still force myself out tonight, I wish I had just done it now as it would have been over and done with.
I'm struggling with going out in the daytime too as I don't want to be seen running as I always spot someone I know. I've lost weight so I'm not overweight and I'm not actually that slow (averaging 35 mins for 5k even with all the W4 walking). It's just some irrational fear.
I know I'm waffling but does anyone have any tips. This is an issue I've had for years and it's affected other areas of my life, with the little man on my shoulder encouraging me not to do something and I haven't. I know that it makes me feel awful and like a failure to give in to my silly head, but it's so difficult to ignore it. The feelings of the run being really hard are also ridiculous because it's only 35 mins and I've not had a particularly hard run to put me off. It's just me brain wanting me to fail. Even though I'm pushing myself to go later in the day, I feel that not overcoming this fear of going earlier in the day may allow me too succumb to the voices in future when they tell me not to go at all as I have wondered several times why I'm bothering with all of this and the thought of having to run every other day for life has come up a few times, even though I really want to be a runner and I feel great afterwards.
Any tips on having a stronger mind would be great. It's absolutely all in my mind and I need to change this as it would have an impact on many aspects of my life.
Thank you xx
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Newb-jogger
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Yep we know where you're coming from. I just do it! I don't brook any conversation with myself. I just do it, slavishly. If it's on the plan it's getting done. Mental tennis I call it. Don't go there. You can train yourself to become more disciplined. Actually, once you're out there it's never as bad as we build it up to be. I ran last night and was toasty, surprisingly so.
You get into regular habits as regards when to eat etc. It is a learning curve, and you will evolve routines to suit you, and which will make life easier. My husband tried to put the mockers on my run yesterday when he came in from work. I had hoped to be out the door before he got back. I slammed the door and was off. We can be single minded as well.
You'll be surprised at what you can do! You'll see. Just go steady. Slow is good
Thanks for your reply. I know you're right and the 'not thinking about it and just go' approach is what I'm using at night. I'll keep persevering and try to remain more upbeat. X
I have that little man too. I think he’s probably quite normal. I find it easier to run at night, anonymously, and my energy seems better then. I always come back feeling great, but a huge part of me would much rather be here in the warm, browsing running shoes and reading about other people's running experiences.
You know, I think you should be gentler with yourself. Try to keep doing the runs, getting out there, putting one foot in front of the other. Appreciate what a huge thing it is doing this. Praise and appreciate yourself. Even if being active has become popular in recent years, we are still in the minority.
I also think many if us grew up with discouragement or lack of praise, either from family or school or society in general. Brits take the could have done better line, rather than well done and keep it up. In actual fact you are doing extra well because you are not only getting out there and doing this, but doing it against that little piglet man on your shoulder who is trying to take it all away from you.
My guess is that if you keep going despite your inner critic, you will reach a stage where his voice gets fainter and fainter. It’s interesting yours is a little man rather than a little woman!
Just remember, you have nothing to prove. You are doing this for you, not to please someone else.
Keep going, appreciate what you are achieving and knock that little man on your shoulder on the head!
Thank you. Everything you wrote is spot on. I know I'm hard on myself. If I don't do it, I feel a failure and if I'm going out but not at the ideal time, I'm still not doing enough. You're right too about growing up with a lack of praise. I need to stop this now and start celebrating my achievements!
I am really trying to enjoy this and desperately want to enter a few races next year. I've not had a medal for anything since my swimming gala years, which was decades ago. I will try to forget about everything else for now and just keep plodding on.
Thank you so much for your reply. It has made me feel much better and I'll go out tonight with a clear head.
I think learning to accept and live with all the less pretty and encouraging emotions and thoughts is a massive part of making running a regular part of your life. People often try to fight it, to tell themselves they shouldn't feel this way... wasted energy mostly, and 'observe from a distance' without feeling the thoughts and feelings *mean* anything seems to be a more productive way to go. misswobble puts it more succinctly as 'just do it'
As your runs get longer you'll probably notice the emotional roller coaster - the first 10 minutes of 'this is terrible' the 'I could run forever' swiftly followed by 'this is terrible' (and some just happy plodding along stuff too - happy as in 'happy' or just 'pleased with myself for doing this')
But take each run at a time, each minute at a time. I'm definitely not as organised as @misswobble and my 'strategy' has generally been to keep putting on the running underpinnings including big firm control knickers underneath my normal clothes every day until I am close to running out or just plain desperate to wear something less ghastly!
Well I do think you have to have a reason why, and it has to be deep. mine is not wanting to get sick like my mum with dementia. Did you know that regular exercise reduces the risk of dementia by 30%? But also, now, because I *like* the feeling after a run and I want to deserve it and I basically continue to feel better every week. So, do I want to get dementia (or heart disease or whatever) and continue to tell myself what a failure I am? No, I do not. So I go.
But it should not suck. It should not be punishment. So a few things:
1) remind yourself that you cannot fail. Seriously. You do what you can do at the time. Then the next time you do a different thing. You already run/walk faster than me -- are you training for the Olympics? No? then -- everything is gravy. Yes? Go you!!!
2) remind yourself that runners are invisible, and the brighter clothes you have on the more invisible you are. Also, really, everyone is on your side. Can you imagine seeing a runner on some horrible night and thinking anything other than "wow, she must have a will of iron"? That's you. Will of iron, I tell you. (They don't have to know it's kind of fun. No one needs to know.)
3) Ooh, winter! Time for exciting running gadgets! Just got myself a flashing reflecting strap vest thing. Strictly speaking I am unlikely to need this since my running route is entirely traffic free. But now no bicyclist will hit me and I have a cool thing to wear. There are many cool running things - tights, wind pants, wind vests, headbands, buffs, sunglasses, lights, you name it.
Or how about you make a deal that you get a hot bath when you come home?
You can do it. It's OK. You're OK. You can't fail. We love your running. Do it for us, for you, for your kids, for the gadgets
You're so right. My gran had dementia and my parents both have various health problems. I have children and want to be healthy and lead my example.
I have overanalysed things (as I think I often do) but will try and relax and just enjoy each jog as I do actually enjoy it and deep down, I am proud that I have got this far and persevered. I can feel that this is good for my mental health, as well as my physical wellbeing, as long as I keep going! So that's what I'll focus on.
Tonight is Wk4, R2 and I will forget about this morning and just go and try my best. I feel a lot better after reading these replies, so thank you! I really appreciate it. xx
There you see? It's no pressure, it's all up-side. Can't fail, massive rewards to be had, just a matter of time...
Everything these lovely people have said and more. You can’t always love a run, we all have crappy ones from time to time. But forming the running habit is the best tip I can think of. I wouldn’t dream of not brushing my teeth morning and evening. I treat running the same and now it’s got to the point where I can’t imagine not running 3 times a week. And I only graduated a couple of months back, so I’m not a veteran runner by any means. Maybe look out for the little but meaningful victories - the other day I ran right along the famous London Top Gear tunnel, now it’s only about 200-300 metres, but it wasn’t a running day, I just fancied doing it because I could....
I notice when walking with friends, that they puff up some hills and I no longer do. When previously I’d have asked for oxygen! These are little personal signs that tell me running works for me. And every little victory, kicks the shoulder gremlin into touch...
I hope you find your gremlin management strategy - good luck and happy running, you’re doing fab!
It’s the biggest fun, honestly! It’s such a blast 💪😁🏃♀️
I won a tenner on my first 5k race. Fastest over 55. That was it. Sucked in.
My next one was 10k, cold day, hilly, two laps. Different thing all together and I began to back pedal. What was I thinking, I can’t do this, why am I even here. I looked around while I was running and saw loads of women my age and older, all having a great time. So, I told myself to shut up and have fun. What else would I be doing on a gold, Grey Sunday morning?
Having a lie-in 😃
We never imagine we will learn to run, get fit, lose weight, run races when we take those tentative first steps at week one There must be thousands and thousands Of C25kers out there now having done just that
This could have been written by me! (And I'm also beginning to suspect 90% of the people on this forum) I've never known such a wonderful and encouraging bunch of people - you all rock! 🏃♀️🏃👍
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14 hour shift check, W4 R2 check ;-) 
W4 R2 - Where's my energy gone?
Need some motivation... 
Fabbarooney W4 : R3 Done
