And the BRAFTA* goes to...

*That is the Bra, Running and Fitness Training Award

Our Host for this prestigious ceremony was to have been Stephen Fry, as he hosts almost everything, but he politely reclined the offer as my dad’s old secretary used to say. As he couldn’t make it, you have me as judge and jury, following on from last week’s nomination process.

The awards being given today are:-

Best Supporting Act

Most Promising debut from a newcomer

Uns(l)ung Hero Award

Best Technical Instruction Screenplay

Outstanding Individual Contribution

The first of our BRAFTAs for Most Promising Debut from a Newcomer.

Nominees are:-

Booband nominated by Sweatyfaced

One Size Smaller Swimming Costume Overlay - nominated by nikkiwabit

And the winner is Booband for having a great name, although no-one is as yet brave enough to try it

The Uns(l)ung Hero Award

Recognises those bras that have done sterling service, but may now be a little grey and tired, and not first choice.

Nominees are:-

HeleneCorsa - the unknown, no label, bunged in a drawer

Runningraspberrydiva - White, wrong sized, does the job

SuzyKK - for the grey Jockey bought in Florida

mfamilias - for the grainy white, maternity ward flopper stopper, now ‘back of the cupboard’

And the winner is, mfamilias for the imperiously named flopper stopper

Best Technical Instruction Screenplay

Both bra-ing and de-bra -ing are highly skilled tasks. This award recognises those who have provided useful terminology to aid in these complex and time-consuming manoeuvres

Nominees are:-

JaySeeSkinny for the new technique called ‘de-sausaging’

icklegui for identifying the new ailment ‘mono-boob’

antet for the aesthetic horror of ‘redistribution of rolls’

Helene Corsa for describing the problems of front loaders, as ‘mid-run jailbreak’

slinky-malinki for ‘Houdini out of a straitjacket’

MFamilias for describing ‘frozen nipple syndrome’

Whilst hotly contested, the winner has to be JaySeeSkinny with ‘de-sausaging’

Outstanding Individual Contribution

The BRAFTA committee recognise that this ceremony could not have occurred without some sterling efforts on behalf of the bra buying public. This award recognises those who went above and beyond the call of duty in their efforts.

Helene Corsa - for changing room shenanigans, almost resulting in a bra cut off scenario at home

JaySeeSkinny - for de-sausaging with one finger

roseabi - for bra pad removal from the Amazon and re-homing in Primark

Icklegui - for seemingly having tried all bras on the market, but especially for the real-time road test of The Freya

Hidden - who is now using the scorecard for all elements of her life including children, friends….

And the winner is Icklegui, for not letting any sports bra go unchecked!

And finally ladies, the prestigious award, for the Best Supporting Act

The nominees using the scoring model are:-

Jockey with 87% satisfaction score

Freya with 78%

and Adidas CMMTTD Chill with 80%

Those without:-

M&S - 7 votes

Shock Absorber - 10

Panache - 3

Freya - 2

Purely on numbers voted the Shock Absorber takes the award

And finally, if any of you want to download the infamous excel spreadsheet, it can be found at Jancanrun.com (my new running blog, created after I graduated, because to run I need to write and to write I need to run)

I’d like to close the award ceremony with heartfelt thanks to all participants in this year’s BRAFTA awards. Ladies feel free to download the highly expensive, exclusive BRAFTA trophy

[GoogleMe Graduate]

How did I miss this? Was I too busy buying yet more? (And, astonishingly actually retiring some by taking them out of the drawer and putting them in a bag) Very pleased with new flame orange/red offering from M&S, currently digesting lunch before taking it out for a test wobble.

[Hidden in reply to GoogleMe]

Should we re-do it every year do you think...? But M&S was a good standard, so I think your wobble shouldn't be too wobbly!

[GoogleMe Graduate in reply to Hidden]

We could usefully have one for the big knickers to stop the other wobble! I swear some of mine has just slipped.

[Hidden in reply to GoogleMe]

Ooh the KAFTAs... that will have legs.... boys could join in too then...

[MarkyD Graduate in reply to Hidden]

... but that would reveal the secret commandos amongst us...

[Hidden in reply to MarkyD]

eeuughh, that was on my 'I wonder' list...

[icklegui Graduate in reply to Hidden]

by then I may well have actually tried on every bra ...! I never realised I'd get so obsessed. People warned that running addiction leads to checking out lots of running gear ... apparently I really honed in on the sports bra affair!

[Hidden in reply to icklegui]

Down load your BRAFTA pic with pride - that was my low scoring adidas one which is now in the bin...

[Maddee_6333 Graduate in reply to GoogleMe]

Ooooh - sounds like I need a trip to M&S then.

[bareliz in reply to Maddee_6333]

M & S for me, mainly because it is easy to get to and buy. Not that I'm lazy of course

[Hidden in reply to bareliz]

Not at all...., I'm looking at the runners shop at the bottom of the hill for precisely the same reason...

[CarolineLou71 Graduate in reply to GoogleMe]

I was thinking the same! A couple of weeks off and it all goes off! That'll teach us, eh?!

[IgaT Graduate]

Oh Jan, you made me cry with laughter at work, again.

I didn't have brain power to do my bra tests and checks. Scheduled for this weekend. Maybe I will be on time for next year awards / ceremony (?)

[Hidden in reply to IgaT]

We shouldn't do it again unless of course there is a new mega boobage management product launch...

[IgaT Graduate in reply to Hidden]

Well, there are always new stars on the market and grading system is so amazing that it should reach broader public and incude more BoobieRunActivitySilencers (known to the public as BRAS)

[icklegui Graduate in reply to IgaT]

I'm a scientist, so I am all for repetition, multiple tests, etc... I'd say there's some serious research here but there's a whole department for that at Portsmouth Uni port.ac.uk/scientific-testi...

[IgaT Graduate in reply to icklegui]

Should we do double blind randomised control trial?

[Hidden in reply to IgaT]

What about the 1 way mirror qualitative research group sessions? I saw and heard so many weird things when I was on the 'blind side' of the mirror...

[icklegui Graduate in reply to IgaT]

dingdingdingdingding! Those are some of my favourite words. I can just imagine painstakingly removing all branding from a bra, stratified (by bra size, of course) random assignation of our willing volunteers to groups...

[IgaT Graduate in reply to icklegui]

Measuring putting on and de-sausagging time (at least 3x) depending on air humidity and amount of water/sweat on bra and skin

[Hidden in reply to icklegui]

OMG a bra testing department. I feel ashamed at my lack of systematic random testing... Don't tell them.

[icklegui Graduate in reply to Hidden]

Don't tell them? I think you could apply for a job there! Also your rating system is waaaay more humourous and engaging, so you could certainly communicate your results better than "this bra reduces 78% of the bounce..." *snore* Plus I bet they don't factor in the difficulty of desausaging or the "can I just bung this in the washing machine" question!

[icklegui Graduate in reply to IgaT]

... yes, JCR's grading system is a work of scientific and humourous literary genius!

[rolysmate Graduate]

You tit, lol

[rolysmate Graduate]

I actually started this programme needing to use a sports bra but thankfully after ponding the trails I can report my moobs are now very much a thing of the past

[Hidden in reply to rolysmate]

Well you see the benefits of running are many fold... It doesn't work quite the same way for wimmin...

[rolysmate Graduate in reply to Hidden]

No, thank goodness

[GoogleMe Graduate in reply to Hidden]

You say that but only that bit of my clothing has been able to change size down!

[Hidden in reply to GoogleMe]

ooh mine are stubbornly the same...

[MichaelH070862 Graduate]

Glad I don't suffer with all your trials and tribulations of anatomical restraint clothing before going running but it did make me laugh.

[roseabi]

Good lord this is awesome!

A sterling analysis, and a MBE (Member of the Bra-wearing Elite) to you for service to womankind - for furthering awareness about the extreme pain in the arseness (or elsewhere) of runners' boob management

[MarkyD Graduate]

Well done Jan. Great work and certainly raised a giggle.

Obviously it's designed to sell you a bra, but the Bounce-O-Meter 3D animation of breast tissue movement during running can be terrifying:

shockabsorber.co.uk/bounce-...

[Hidden in reply to MarkyD]

that is a shocker...

[icklegui Graduate in reply to MarkyD]

This cannot be unseen. Yikes. Hypnotising...

[MarkyD Graduate in reply to icklegui]

Figure of 8's. Who knew?

[misswobble Graduate]

I don't worry about boobage these days having well and truly run them off -along with my ass - but I admit to wearing my racer back job in the bath the other day as I was just too bloody exhausted to take it off. Post 28k run exhaustion meant I could barely raise my arms As I laid in the hot bath I wondered at what point I'd be able to take it off 😁 Scissors were looking likely 🙄

If you read the comments on the Marks and Sparks ones, they do warn of trickyness getting them off, so think on before plunging in headlong 🙂

[Hidden in reply to misswobble]

28k run. Jeez that is something to behold. Okay I am cheered by the fact that running may reduce the boobage though. That is something I can hope for.

[icklegui Graduate in reply to Hidden]

One of my friends said rowing was quite effective in boob shrinking, if the running doesn't cut it!

[misswobble Graduate]

Boobs and butt are mostly fat apparently so they are the first things to go when you lose appreciable amounts of weight. I was losing weight before embarking on the programme but running speeded up the process

[JaySeeSkinny Graduate]

Can we make acceptance speeches?

[Hidden in reply to JaySeeSkinny]

Ain't no rules here... so please do!!

[Coddfish Graduate]

I just love the way HealthUnlocked's tagging system thinks this thread is about osteoarthritis. Do they think we tie sports bras round our knees and hips? Thanks for entertaining us and recognising the awesomeness of ShockAbsorbers. As an H cup girl I really wouldn't be able to run without them.

[MarkyD Graduate in reply to Coddfish]

The Bounce-o-meter only goes up to a G-cup, but they'll be pleased that you value the support from ShockAbsorbers.

[Hidden]

I had my acceptance speech ready and everything....... ...

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Please post it- no rules.....you were a nominee

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Well it started with my infancy. I was a very special baby blah blah then school days; they wondered if I was a genius blah blah. As an adult, I have been pretty amazing blah blah my running is fantastic blah blah. Mo phones regularly for advice blah blah. Sports brah blah blah

Oh flowers darling? Thank you, well deserved I think

X

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

You forgot your mum and dad oh and the amazing bra consultant....

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

No, it's all down to me

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Ah the humility of a BRAFTA nominee....😁

[ejvcruns Graduate]

Hi-LARIOUS. Thank you thank you.

[Hidden in reply to ejvcruns]

My pleasure

[Hidden]

Great post btw

[Gillma Graduate]

😂😂😂😂

[Charlottefc87 Graduate]

Priceless! I now feel I have everything I need to make informed boob-stay-putters purchases

[Polly2810 Graduate]

Priceless!!! Thank you 😊 your attention to detail deserves a trophy 🏆

[antet Graduate]

I was robbed I tell you 😂 x

[Hidden in reply to antet]

I just cannot deal with A list celebrities throwing a strop....😉

Please tell me you threw a shoe at your PA...., or sacked him at the very least. You could blame your PR agent for not bribing me with goodies....

[antet Graduate in reply to Hidden]

😂 I have now sacked the PA as they failed to come up with anything equivalent to de-sausaging despite a survey, focus group and brainstorm session!

Loving your blog - your posts have made me laugh out loud over the past weeks - fab.

[Hidden in reply to antet]

Yes the PA has to go....

Shame he was doing so well before 'Bra gate'

[Hidden in reply to antet]

Oh and thanks for the blog compliment, I love doing it. It also makes me run every other day....

[antet Graduate in reply to Hidden]

I am never going to be able to read though the correct way again 😂

[Hidden in reply to antet]

Who could have guessed fook was though....

[antet Graduate in reply to Hidden]

Also I am from the era that grammar forgot so the googling resonated 😀

[Hidden in reply to antet]

Can't tell you how embarrassing that is, one of us saying sorry we didn't hear that answer say it again, as the other frantically googled....

[antet Graduate in reply to Hidden]

😀 you're not alone

[LittleNell83]

For next year, can I nominate Decathlon as being the most confusing bra retailer and even when you think you have it sussed, noooo. You get home, try on and discover the tri-boob. A mono boob in the middle with arm pit boob to the side.

Horrendously horrible!

[Hidden in reply to LittleNell83]

That's next years poll sorted...

[LittleNell83]

It is not a good look, or, surprisingly not comfortable.

[HeleneCorsa Graduate]

Marvellous post. I have to say that nursing three kids for quite a long time means that I do not face particular problems and am now almost feeling irrationally jealous that I am unable to swing them in a figure of eight.

And also, did I really just watch a computer simulation of wobbling breasts on a (probably very controlled) computer in the Vatican? That probably wasn't a good idea, was it?! **waves to IT spies**

[Indigogirl Graduate in reply to HeleneCorsa]

😂😂😂

[MichaelH070862 Graduate in reply to HeleneCorsa]

Well it didn't make the news so looks like you got way with it

[SuzyKK Graduate]

My Jockey & I thank you for the 'support' we received... and again, like all those above, I absolutely LOVE your postings Hidden - was laughing out loud at your post and all the replies!