An update from Mfam

[mfamilias]

A sign of life from mfam: the trainer-clad snail is still alive and kicking her heels in the French vineyards. Sorry for the radio silence, everyone - mainly due to a combination of work-overload and administrative tasks related to imminent changes in my European status. Things haven't changed much on that front, but as Gary pointed out on his way to his secret stash of over-priced imported hobnobs, I've got a great gang of pals on here and it would be very silly of me to let him install a Stockholm syndrome.

So here's the update. I am still out there running, with precisely 86 days left before Gary and I have our version of the OK Corral: our very first half marathon. My Asics has informed me that I run too fast and suggested a rewrite of my plan. I checked it out, decided that I was not Speedy Gonzales, and kept to the old version.

The furthest I have run so far is 14km. I've speeded up my pace a bit recently, much to Gary's distress (as he gets his coke straw stuck up his nostril when I run 'too fast', and will soon have to run behind me to avoid throwing up in his armchair).

I ran my first trail event - 12.2k of wet, muddy, pebbly, hilly and slippery challenge that left me with the realisation that if I don't stop copping out of hill running, I will be in severe schtuck for my HM, which has a fair whack of hills. Not this weekend, but the next, I will hopefully be catching up with nhs2015 and running an unusual event with her - 4K loops of the brand new motorway to raise funds for charity.

Hope everyone is happy and healthy. Gary sends his love to all his gremlin counterparts.

[SlowWorm2016 Graduate]

Poor Gary, my heart bleeds for him .

Good luck with your training, and have fun on the motorway!

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to SlowWorm2016]

Gary can't get back to you right now, he's finishing his tube of Pringles so that he's ready to put me off my run later on. I'm quite looking forward the motorway run, but mostly because I'll get to see my running pal again.

[SlowWorm2016 Graduate in reply to mfamilias]

Is it too cruel for me to say to Gary 'I hope you choke on your Pringles'?

I went running on Tuesday night with my running pal and it was so good to catch up with a natter.

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to SlowWorm2016]

No, not at all. He's finished them all though, better luck next time. I haven't seen nhs2015 for two years, it'll be great to be able to run together.

[SlowWorm2016 Graduate in reply to mfamilias]

I'll listen out for his crunching and slurping (yuck!!) and wish him a nice choke then, lol.

[aliboo70]

Nice to see you back mfam and not letting Gary hold you back!! 😊Races galore coming up for you now then! Sounds like you're going great guns! 😊😆

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to aliboo70]

I've got to sign up for a couple more to keep myself on target. I'm at the point where I'm wondering 'oh ****, what have I done, I must be off my rocker'.

[aliboo70 in reply to mfamilias]

thats part of being a runner!!!

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to aliboo70]

... or one can short of a six pack...

[Millsie-J Graduate]

Hey Mfam, you have been missed!

Trample Gary! Hit that motorway hard, tell MyAsics you can make decisions for yourself, and enjoy that HM. How exciting!

So glad to hear from you again forum friend. You can tame those hills😀🏃🏻‍♀️

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to Millsie-J]

I'm happy to be back, thanks Gary is going to have to get himself a pair of trainers now if he wants to come with me. We're at the make-or-break stage, with another 7 k to add on to the maximum mileage ... So he'd better can it.

[Millsie-J Graduate in reply to mfamilias]

Is your son running the HM with you, i know you often run together.

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to Millsie-J]

He stops at the 10k, and did the 7k trail whilst I did the 12.2. He runs faster than I do, and loves hills, so he gets a very good work-out. He's signed up for the 10k on the day I do the HM, but he has exams coming up the following week so may not be coming (the race is in Eastern France, and we live in the Languedoc so it's a four or five day trip... I love it because I get to see my pals , four of whom will be running that day, with one on the HM, one (I think) on the marathon and two on the 10k. Happy days!

[AnneDroid Graduate]

That all sounds good! I love the idea of running on a not-yet-open motorway. At least I assume it's not-yet-open. If not, give that run a miss...

Not sure if Gary is sipping Coca-Cola or snorting cocaine though.

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to AnneDroid]

The motorway will be opened this summer - it was so unusual as a run event that it would be silly not to give it a try. I think Gary snorts his coca cola, the bubbles must get through to his brain.

[Irish-John Graduate]

Tell Gary the Motorway run is on the day AFTER it's opened to vehicular traffic

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to Irish-John]

He will immediately offer to drive us. He's cool like that. He'll even bring the popcorn to throw at the other runners.

[Irish-John Graduate in reply to mfamilias]

No no no - tell him to start running...That you'll be right behind him

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to Irish-John]

Ooh, I like that idea. I'll be able to tell him about his VPL and inform him how big his bum looks in Lycra, he'll love to swap roles for once

[Irish-John Graduate in reply to mfamilias]

No no no - send him ahead on the now-opened motorway and watch as he gets squashed under the wheels of the first Juggernaut that comes up behind him

Done and dusted!

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate]

Just thinking about you and Gary yesterday! Glad you are okay and no sign of imminent deportation from the vineyards

Gary needs a really good slap.. he has been sending his germ laden gremlin chums to annoy folk on the forum.., and been zapping us right left and centre..me included !

You sound well on track too for your HM... I think Gary is really going to struggle keeping up with you

Have a great motorway run with nhs... and keep us posted x

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate]

Just thinking about you and Gary yesterday! Glad you are okay and no sign of imminent deportation from the vineyards

Gary needs a really good slap.. he has been sending his germ laden gremlin chums to annoy folk on the forum.., and been zapping us right left and centre..me included !

You sound well on track too for your HM... I think Gary is really going to struggle keeping up with you

Have a great motorway run with nhs... and keep us posted x

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to Oldfloss]

Hello there Flossie! Oh dear, sorry you've been sick... hopefully the spring will sort it all out for everyone.

No imminent deportation, but a lorry load of unwanted paperwork to do for the children and I in both France and the UK, and great amount of anger and anxiety that I run off in the vineyards. I've got a list of hiding places ready in case MLP gets voted in before I've finished

[Oldfloss Administrator Graduate in reply to mfamilias]

I am much better now... but it has taken me little while to get back up and running on form.. also a bit like you, quite busy!

You must be going thro' quite time out there.. the vineyard sounds a great place to hide

We have sold tin- tent and bought a holiday home by the sea now.. so any trips to La Belle France will be in the car from now on..

Hope you get sorted, and great to know you are still around x

[MarkyD Graduate]

Harrumble! mfam's back!!! Good to hear from you.

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to MarkyD]

Arriba arriba! I'm glad to be back too. Hope you are well!

[ancientrunner Graduate]

Good to hear your news. Good luck with the HM, sounds like you have Gary under control. Cousin Graham has been going strong recently, keeps locking the front door so I can't get out.

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to ancientrunner]

He's under control when we run, but still has a lot of influence over the five or ten minutes preceding the trainer-donning moment (there appears to have been a gremlin memo sent around recently).

[ancientrunner Graduate in reply to mfamilias]

That explains a lot!!

[poppypug Graduate]

Hey Up Gorgeous !

Lovely to see you on here again . Good Luck for your HM , you will nail it ! xxx

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to poppypug]

Hey up Pops, it's great to be back. I'm determined to get it done in less than 2.5 hours. If I can be between 2h and 2h15 I'll be thrilled.

[poppypug Graduate in reply to mfamilias]

Great stuff, I did mine in 2hr 22 mins so I think you will do 2h -2.15 no problem ! xxx

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to poppypug]

Verdict on 25/6...

[EricaMcC]

'allo 'allo!!

Greetings from an island dwelling, windswept runner. I really enjoyed reading your post - thank you!! Do you réside en France?

I ask because despite Westminster, we've been considering a move there ...avec la famille ... one of whom is an 11 year old bogwoppit.

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to EricaMcC]

Bonjour bonjour! Nice to meet you! (That suddenly gave me a flashback to Bruce Forsyth. Showing my age there.)

Yup, I do - I've spent most of my adult life here. I'm a member of that awful EU generation - decided I loved France and the French at the age of15; studied French in the UK, met Frenchman on Erasmus course, fell in love, covered myself with goose fat and struck off across the Channel leaving him to complete his masters course in Southampton, returned briefly to the UK then moved to France, with a year in Scotland and in the US for his post-docs. We now live in the Languedoc with our three Erasmus babies and wonder what the future holds for us all.

[Anniemurph Graduate]

Mfam - how nice to hear from you It sounds like you're well on track for your HM, although it's a pity Gary can't be - ahem - 'accidentally' squished under all your mountains of paperwork. I'm sure there's a clause in Article 50 that bans the import/export of gremlins.

Running on a new motorway sounds brilliant! What fun, especially with a forum friend. As for myAsics and Nagging Nancy and her suggestions, and hills into the bargain - well, I think you might know how I feel about all of those things So I will just wish you happy running

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to Anniemurph]

Hi there sweetie Gary is worried he may be deported - MLP is very picky about immigrants, but she does have plenty of gremlins amongst her supporters so if he waves a FN banner around he may be able to hide in the disturbingly large crowd that follows her. When I came out of my French exam (95 euros for a certificate to prove I can speak French) I was offered a brochure by a LePen supporter. I went for my best Paddington Bear stare, but I think the irony was lost on him.

Anyway, enough ranting. I will be going out for a 10k ce soir, cos it's going to rain tomorrow. PAH. Hope the weather clears up afterwards - i'm planning on getting out for a coffee and a chat with @nhs2015 during the week so that we can plan our Sunday run.