First run, first fall, and Gary's confession.

[mfamilias]

Happy new year to all! This morning I pulled on my trainers and set out for my first run of 2017. I was feeling a tad tired and hung over, but the run was going swimmingly well; so much so, in fact, that even Gary the Gremlin felt the buzz of euphoria.

Wriggling his way out of the pile of empty crisp bags in his armchair, he told me that he'd pulled the short straw back in 2015 when the chief gremlin had handed out missions to the gremlin elite recruits. Gary had signed up for running resolutions, and for me in particular, as he had observed me and decided it'd be a cop-out.

"As you probably know, we gremlins are lazy buggers and do not go for hosts who are going to demand regular hard work," he informed me as we headed down the 400m straight that always seems to go on for ever. "So of course, I went and picked you, 'cos you looked like you had as much self-discipline as a four-year-old forgotten in a Cadbury's warehouse. I thought you'd give up after two days, then you made it to two weeks, then two months, and now we're a few weeks off a two year anniversary and I'm still bloody stuck with you!" he grumbled.

"As I'm sure you are not going to stop today, I'm off to find myself a pack of mince pies. And no, you can't have one." He pulled his Y-fronts out of his bum and slouched petulantly off to his private gremlin kitchen (at the back of my mind, on the right).

I suddenly felt buoyant. Nearly two whole years since I made the resolution to do a bit of exercise on a regular basis. And now training for my first half marathon. Wow. I was unstoppable. A lean, mean, running machine. A star. Who was so busy congratulating herself that she didn't notice The Pot Hole until she had done an impressive double somersault and ended up flat on her back like a lycra-clad whale.

The damage check revealed a bleeding hand, arm and and knee. Gary rolled his eyeballs and chewed his mince pie as I walked towards home.

"Wimp", he muttered with a malicious twinkle in his eye.

"Bugger you", I answered, and ran the last km home.

Whoever your gremlin is, sometimes they're on your side. Now I'm off to admire the appearance of the first bruises on my kneecaps.

[McFitty Graduate]

I swear...Gary is real and his y-fronts are the stuff of legend😂

Congrats on the 'nearly 2 years' of running, training for your first HM, getting out on the first day of the new year and putting up with glorious Gary!

I LOVE this post! Hope the bruises are short-lived.

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to McFitty]

Gary is exhausted tonight, I almost feel sorry for him. I knocked his mince pies and his beer over when I fell, so he's had to make do. I spent the rest of the day on the beach having a picnic with friends - magic. Hugs to you and have a great year of running!

[b275 Graduate]

Well done for getting up and running back home. I have to say I laughed out loud when I read this, then winced - your poor knees!! Hope they soon feel better

Thanks for Gary, I thought I was the only one who had one with a name mine is called George and he's just as naughty!!

Happy running.

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to b275]

I staggered at the beginning, then felt sorry for myself, then decided that I'd have to get a move on and shut Gary up before he chalked up a win on his board. That's when I clicked that sometimes he actually manages to help me by trying to hinder.

Gary says that he and George sometimes go out for a pint together, when they can motivate themselves enough to get out of the front door...

[Tomas Graduate]

Poor Gary. He seems to be working so hard,and then when you finally have a tumble, that's still not enough to sort you. He sure has his job cut out for him. You, in the mean time, is a mean, lean running machine!

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to Tomas]

Gary is bored with me now; he was hoping to move on quickly but can't do so until I've given up. Fat chance, he's lumbered with me now.

[orchards Graduate]

Hope the bruises aren't too colourful - wouldn't want to give Gary anything to comment on

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to orchards]

Gary is still in bed. I am still in my PJs and haven't dared to inspect the damage yet.

[RunningGeek Graduate]

Thank you for an amusing post. Gary is certainly a character 😁 Am constantly amazed and cheered by the breadth of literary talent on the forum. Hope the bumps and bruises disappear soon. Happy running 🏃👟🏃👟

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to RunningGeek]

Thanks, sweetie! Gary is a constant source of posts for me. He's getting Stockholm syndrome now - nice role reversal with him increasingly playing the role of the hostage.

[Ullyrunner Graduate]

Oh dear how have you survived for two years without undergoing that particular rite of passage! Hope you're not too stiff tomorrow!

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to Ullyrunner]

Cheers, Ully. My knees are very painful this morning. Luckily Asics give me today and tomorrow off - do you think they put Gary up to this?

[aliboo70]

well done for sorting Gary MF! there nothing stopping you now- certainly not him! Great new year post

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to aliboo70]

He will be in his element the year, as he says I've bitten off more than I can chew, and is preparing his banners in the kitchen to slow me down.

[Sandraj39 Graduate]

Agh! Poor you! I have done this very same impressive stunt fall myself and was also lucky enough to get away with nothing worse than a few bruises and grazes and the knowledge that no one actually saw me trip over my own big feet at the end of an otherwise glorious long run!!! Hope you're not too stiff tomorrow. ☺

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to Sandraj39]

Isn't it funny that the first thing you do is check that nobody saw you? 😂 Knees very painful today.

[Sandraj39 Graduate in reply to mfamilias]

Rest up well - you'll soon be back out there.x

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to Sandraj39]

Guess what? I just dropped the huge log that the Christmas tree was stuck in on my big toe. Harrumpf.

[Davoda Graduate]

That was absolutely brilliant (until the pothole bit!)

I'm sure you could write a book of short stories about your friend Gary....😉

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to Davoda]

Gary says that much as he likes the idea of being internationally famous, he can't be arsed with the effort of signing autographs.

[roseabi]

Yikes, hope you're ok! Seems to be a few folk hitting the ground hard tonight. Love your Gary character though

[mfamilias Graduate in reply to roseabi]

Gary is a bit of a jelly bean - hard on the outside, and soft and squidgy on the inside. I'm fine now, ta, I have lovely sexy scabs to tote on my 10k trail tomorrow