What a sh***y day! :(

This afternoon, after 13 years and a relocation from Italy to the UK, my company informed me that my job role is no longer required and I am a risk of redundancy.

My first thoughts have been: "I need to run", "how the hell am I going to pay the mortgage?!?", "I need to run!", "how am I supposed to find another job at 36 and without any qualification?!?", "I NEED TO RUN!".

So run I did, as soon as I got home... but unfortunately this time it did not work and , instead of clearing my mind, I ended up having the worst, less enjoyable run since I discovered this activity.

Apologies for the off-topic outburst but I've been explicitly forbidden to mention the situation with my colleagues and I really needed a friendly ear this evening.


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50 Replies

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  • Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear this secan. And I'm also sorry your run didn't help at all. I'm afraid I have no words to help...all I can say is hang in there and take it one day at a time. I'll be thinking of you and hoping things turns out for the best. Take care x

  • Thanks Shivani. Being able to "share the load" with this community is already of some help.

  • So sorry for the bad news Secan. Things often do work out unexpectedly so keep your chin up, this could turn out to be a good thing - I certainly hope so.

  • Oh, Secan that is really horrible news! As Shivani say, hang on in there - and I really hope things work out for you. Keep getting out for your runs. I'm not surprised today's was tough, but I am sure they will help you to ride out this tricky time. Best wishes.

  • Sorry to hear this - Horrible news for you. And sorry that running didn't help on this occasion. Fingers crossed for a positive outcome....

  • secan right now your worst enemies ate fear and anger. In situations like this I do active meditation. Helps put life into perspective.

    I have been where you have been and know how shxxty it feels.

  • I'm meditating on the perspective of killing my boss and burning my company to the ground; does it count as "active meditation"? XD

    (just kidding, obviously)

  • lol In a word No πŸ˜‰

  • If only you hadn't advertised your intentions....

  • I can still delete the post and leave no proof... :D

  • Boz says the mistake is digging a shallow grave, you need to dig a deep one! πŸ˜•πŸ˜Š

  • Oh mate that is not good news. I'm sure everything will work out in time. It's horrible I know but keep as positive as you can , there is light at the end of the tunnel. Best wishes. Andy

  • If you could run that shit away it'd be a bloody miracle Saverio. This may not help, but at 36 you're a mere whippersnapper and bilingual too...so make a plan, my dear and work it through xxx

  • The problem is not really being 36 but having no professional qualification; I studied up to the Italian equivalent of GSE-A Level then I've learnt on the job and I have no "piece of paper" to certify what I can do. That makes pretty hard to pass the first selection...

    Anyway, I like to consider myself reasonably intelligent; I'll figure out a solution. Thanks for the encouragement. :)

  • A lot of person specs in my world say "or equivalent experience", your cv will speak for itself, people don't last so many years if they can't do the job. You're bright, I bet you've already started thinking about plan b..? (nb gigalo is a bit of a time-limited career) xx

  • Oh that's dreadful Secan, It happened to all three of my sons at one time or another but they all managed to bounce back to better things. You have so many things in your favour when you're looking for a job: you're bilingual (multilingual I suspect); you're articulate; you have a great sense of humour, and physically, you are at your peak! Qualifications are ten a penny these days, but those other qualities are not, so don't put yourself down. So many corporate employers are without morals or compassion for their employees but to hell with them. Think of this as a fantastic opportunity to re-invent yourself. Yes, you do have to pay the mortgage, but I am sure someone of your talents will find a way. Employers everywhere are looking for people with your qualities. 36 is an eminently employable age. You have maturity without being over the hill. Come to think of it , would you like me to write your cv? ;-)

    Oh, and keep running. It won't solve anything, but it will eventually help you view your situation in a rosier light ;-)

  • Now that you mention it, actually those are all very good characteristics for a gigolo... I might have found my "plan B"! :D

  • sorry to hear that and I think running is great but there are limits to it magic! Hoping things take a turn for the better for you though xx

  • Oh Secan, if you are reacting like most people, you are in a state of shock right now and you do need to talk about it. Off-topic or not - you were right to let it out in here, but if it is possible you should invite yourself over to a friend's house and talk the whole thing through as soon as possible.

    I don't know anything about your job or your company - but you have been there for a long time and that tells me that you are a treasured employee and colleague. The layoff probably has very little, if anything at all, to do with you! It has to do with the financial situation your company is in or some restructuring.

    In Denmark most people are members of a union where we seek help (legal assistance and career advice) in situations like this one, but I guess it is not the same in the UK?

    It feels horrible right now, but things will work out! You will figure out a way - onwards and upwards - that's what we do, remember!

  • Oh Secan! Thats rotten news......sending best wishes and supportive hug!

  • Don't worry secan . Employers want skills, not pieces of paper. I know it's a dark day, but you've got everything on your side.

  • So sorry, that's horrible. Don't take it personally, I am sure you are a great guy and some other, cooler and much better company will be delighted to use your skills. And the current one is invited to bite me! Big hugs x

  • Sorry to hear your bad news (I've been there so can empathise).

    Have a look on-line, there are a lot of recruitment companies and your company might be willing to help you with your CV etc as they won't want you to be out of a job. Generally when employers make people redundant, they will help you as best as they can. Good luck!

  • Life can really get in the way secan , a worrying and stressful time for you .

    I hope brighter days are around the corner for you.

  • Am sorry to hear that Secan, I haven't read the other comments, so maybe mines similar reading. But you can't be on the scrapheap yet at 36! You must have redundancy money and unemployment benefit coming to help out while you find new employment or retrain. I would have thought a young intelligent fellow like yourself would be able to pick himself up again. You can now run and are fit, yes! how about retraining to be a gym instructor? That's one idea, keep thinking positive! good luck!😊

  • Oh I'm so sorry to hear this Secan, what bad news. If it's any consolation, qualifications will only get you so far in any job, the most useful thing is people skills, and you definitely have them. AND you're young, AND fit AND bilingual, AND have a great employment history AND demonstrable skills AND a flexible attitude. You will get through this, you just need a little time to get your head round the news. Chin Up Sweetie, you can do this!

  • I got made redundant when I was older than you, by a lot. It's not all doom and gloom. You are forced to take stock, which is no bad thing. As one door closes ... ☺

  • Secan! How completely crap. Sending you good vibes. There will be a good way forward. I know you may not think so but you are still young at 36. Something good cancome out of this but I would be feeling shocked and get into a huge panic personally, so I am sorry I don't have any good advice. Hope you're alright buddy.

  • Sorry to hear this Secan, that's such a blow.

    I agree with the others , you have such a lot of positive attributes, and as Miss Wobble says this could be the start of something so much better for you.

    You will get through this Secan, you will be able to think so much clearly once you get over the shock.

    I wish you luck xxx

  • So sorry to hear that Secan, wishing you all the best.

  • That sucks, big time. Sorry man.

  • In all seriousness, you should lock this post to just this community as it is visible to all, including google searches. You can't delete it later as NOTHING gets truly deleted from the internet.

  • I know; web and websites are (were?) my actual job...

    But why should I lock it? I do not think I've written anything I should be ashamed of and if a prospect employer would ever discard me on the basis of what is written in here, well that would qualify it as the kind of employer for whom I do not want to work. ;)

  • Fair enough - these forums that require a login can give a false sense of security and I didn't want you to be caught out - I didn't realise your technical background :-).

  • Life's a bitch, isn't it, sometimes? What everyone else said above. The thing I have learnt in my 51 years on this planet is that when something doesn't work out it is usually because something much better is waiting around the corner. Just words, I know, but hopefully some positive vibes are winging their way through the ether to you now as well. Keep your pecker up.

  • Really sorry to hear your news Secan. 36 is not so bad - 56 would be a lot more worrying - and there are so many young people out there now with pointless degrees not worth the paper they are written on and zero useful experience. When the dust has settled - (and if it does actually happen) you will find a way forward - in the meantime we realise you will be feeling down so keep venting on here - it can only help.

  • Sorry to hear the bad news, Secan. You're a bright, bilingual guy, still young and at your peak. You'll think of something, and we'll be behind you all the way. Good luck!

  • Hi Secan,

    Just adding a positive note and story... My husband left school with no real qualifications and did a YTS apprentice scheme. He went in for surveying and ended up doing IT. He worked there for over 15 years then the company got taken over and the old staff were being whittled away one by one. He jumped before pushed and after a few rejections, got the job of his life! I think it was his personality, good attendance record and working knowledge that did it! Get applying ASAP and you will do it!

    Good luck!

  • Sorry to hear that secan.πŸ˜• i cant offer practical advice but you sound like the kind of guy who can turn things around and go on to better things including a nicer boss i hope 😊

  • Ooh nooo Secan..not good atall.. :(

    But... you are a very talented man with a great sense of humour.. quick thinking and intelligent!!! I know you feel down at the minute.. surely you WILL find work ..something much more fulfilling for you. You wait and see..something great just around the corner.. I'm sure of it!! Thoughts are with you.. and a huge sprinkling of pixie dust blowing your way:) BEEP BEEP xxx

  • Secan...take time, try and think calmly, feel the support....no helpful words, I just send my hopeful thoughts for you to come through this.


  • Sorry to hear this. Hope things improve. Don't give up hope. My other half was made redundant at 58 and has found a new job in a totally different area of work. At 36 you have time to retrain for a new job. Good luck x

  • I'm so sorry Secan. Our company seems to be continually in a round of restructures & job losses (latest announcements this week) & I have to count myself hugely lucky to have survived so far.

    If its a large organisation you're in, could there be opportunities still within the company but in a different role? Also, the company should really give you support to find another role.

    I wholeheartedly agree with a number of the posts above in that unless it's an extremely specialist role or has a legal need for a qualification experience counts for way more.

    Easy for me to say but chin up. You will find something out there. Although it doesn't feel it right now. All things happen for a purpose & there are brighter days ahead.

    Take care. X

  • What a horrible shock for you. That must have felt like an extra kick in the teeth to choose the most healthy option to deal with the stress and find that running didn't work its magic for you.

    You did say 'at risk of redundancy'. That's not the same as 'redundant'. It's not much cheerier but it does come with a bit more time for you to reflect and to act.

    13 years service counts for something worthwhile - in terms of finding another job and in terms of redundancy payments.

    And you know lots and lots of people who think you are an absolutely lovely bloke.

  • You have a positive attitude, which transmits itself through your posts and I am sure that will carry you through this. It sounds like platitude, but look on this situation as an opportunity. I was laid off three times ( it is the norm in the building trade) before I became self employed. Like you, my list of formal qualifications is short, but I now would not have it any other way. The response to your news is a good indicator that you come across as a decent, intelligent and considerate bloke. The world is your oyster.

    Keep running, keep smiling

  • I was made redundant at 34. Best thing to happen to me because I would have never left that job and gone slowly insane. When one door closes, another door opens. Chin up and good luck

  • I love the fact that you turned to running, I do exactly the same now when something weighs heavy on me too. But likewise, my frustration comes out and leads to a rubbish attempt!

    You have so many skills that will be transferable, and experience is what counts and makes you stand out from the pack so don't be too disheartened. Start thinking about contacts you've made over the years and putting feelers out. Never hurts to be prepared, eh!

    Sending positive and strong thoughts your way, see it as a challenge you're going to make the most of...

  • Oh what bad news, I'm so sorry. I can understand what you say about running, I don't find it helps me much either...I'd say, though, you have many qualifications, 2 languages, and you are more eloquent in your second than many people are in their first. Clearly thoughtful, upbeat, willing to make the effort, I could go on...wishing you the best of luck, as Iannoda says something etter might come along. xx

  • That is sh**ty, but I firmly believe these things happen for a reason. Now's the time to take stock and decided if life is heading in the direction you want. You're a smart guy, life skills are far more important than diplomas, and I would rather employ someone with common sense rather than intelligence in one specific area only!

  • Thanks, when do I start? 😁

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