Graduate fights the blues- week 2 again

Still finding it hard to have the energy and mental will to get out of the door in amongst life etc. But today I am working from home, have a million home things to do ahead of my daughter in law and grand daughter arriving at lunchtime, and several actual work pieces to complete by the end of today, and my neighbour's having all windows replaced- lots of banging and shouting and drilling. Argh. I put on my running gear (really quite difficult at the mo with very bad arms & shoulders- quite funny wrestling a sports bra) and went out into the day, week 2 podcast itching to go. Joyous. within 30 seconds I resolved to really, really try and remember how much I love being out and feeling empowered- and to try and let that memory overcome my problems with going out the front door. 

I smiled at everyone, got some smiles back, felt that the 90 seconds running were over very quickly, and wish I didn't have to take rest days- rest days break my rhythm and rapidly become rest weeks if I'm not careful, it seems to take forever to get anything done including getting impetus to do something!

I'm trying not to be too cross with myself for losing tone- I can feel everything wobbling again- but hell, isn't it wonderful to be outside in the air running even if I'm only doing 90 secs at a time just now- to anyone else suffering depression, if the clouds lift even slightly do consider getting out and trying running - C25K podcasts are great- it really does help and gives you, at least for the time you are out, a real feeling of being ALIVE.



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23 Replies

  • Well done Rainshine that's brilliant! in amongst  such a busy day you got out there and blasted a speck of the blues away. I 100% know where you are coming from with that one, keep on fighting and you'll get stronger each day. enjoy your afternoon :)

  • Thank you so much aliboo! I really hestitate to post any negativity on here because it is such a positive forum- but you're so right, it's brilliant when you win a battle- you enjoy your day too :)

  • Lovely heartfelt post Rainshine ...

    I know where youre coming from too . Well done for getting out there , that takes a lot of determination and resolve  when youre feeling so rubbish doesn't it ?

    Hang on in there , big hugs ((( ))) xxx

  • I think we all get times when things pile in on top of us.  I know you have guests and that can mean a lot of prep, but they're coming to see you so bear that in mind when you're frantically dusting, shopping and bed making 😊 take plenty of tea breaks.  A break for a quick run is a fab idea.  Taking advantage of breaks in the weather is a good chance to escape, not just to run but to go for a walk with your family ☺ it'll be a happy time so enjoy it Rain shine 😊

  • your reply made me smile, misswobble! 'frantically dusting'- that would have been me but my arms and shoulders are so bad, I have just noticed a green feather on top of one of my lights from a previous attempt to use a feather duster to help! :)

    Have to say, it's been an absolute delight so far, and the bathtime crayons I bought have been a real hit- Little Pickle almost stayed in the bath drawing all evening :) and in line with your good advice, we just popped out for a walk between rainbursts- a walk to Gap to buy some Miss Pickle clothes in the sale :)

  • Thanks poppypug sweetie. It's crazy how easy it is to go out for a run and how annoyed with myself I get when I find I can't! Depression with extra useless topping! 

    However it is a great feeling to have fought it and won on that occasion and big poppypug hugs are sooo lovely :) xxx

  • You did it Rainshine (( )))

    Baby steps xxx

  • Well done.. that is so the attitude.. you went for it and you bloomin' well did it!

    Go girl! :)

  • thanks Oldfloss :) it ain't much compared with so many, but it really beats the previous few days of sofa-bound despair! :)

  • Thankfully I haven't experienced depression but I can imagine it is very, very hard. Be proud of yourself for every time you make it out the door. Do you have a notebook to write a running log in? I have a kind of running journal - it is not on the level of our Floss but I write up what day I went and what I did. Also anything I saw or that came to mind when I ran. I throw in some inspirational quotes here and there. I find making a quick note of what I do helps keep me on track. Just like a lot of people post up each run here.

    Oh and get yourself a front fastening sports bra! They're everywhere now. I threw the ones I had out that you have to pull over your head. You practically need to be a Houdini to deal with the tight ones I had. Yuk.

  • hee hee- sports bras! I do indeed have front loaders ;) i also have a host of virtually new back fasteners which I can't do up!  ;(  Now the front loaders are difficult as well!- it's very hard to find 'cheerful' when you can't do a zip up or indeed at the other end it's really hard to be able to slip it off my shoulders. argh. 

    I don't keep a running log- but it sounds like a good idea! 

  • Hi rainshine! I loved this post, I really relate to it. I'm struggling with anxiety and depression at the moment and have been for a while. In fact I graduated c25k last october and promptly stopped running for nearly six months because I couldn't deal with it any more. I felt too weighed down by everything going on in my life and it really sucked the joy out of running and left me all panicked. And I felt very defeated. Six weeks ago I decided to give it another go and I've effectively redone the whole course, well I'm on w6r2 now. 

    it's really hit home for me how important the early weeks are in the programme because they do so much to build the blocks of your confidence when you can achieve them. Even if it takes you a few tries, no matter, you will be able to do it. Ultimately when I restarted c25k I just needed to feel positive and that I'd achieved something, and running for a minute at a time was just the solution! I really look forward to my runs now. I'm so glad you're feeling the same way, massive congrats to you. :) 

  • thanks for your open reply LinaLimont. It's really encouraging that we both came up with this same solution- it really IS so incredibly annoying to be mentally stuck isn't it. It's a spiral where you can't quite do something so you berate yourself for that, which makes you feel worse, etc etc. I do tell myself to snap out of it and of course that doesn't help! Oh and the effort to appear 'normal' because to appear otherwise is so horrid for everyone...

    oh well anyway, check us out- having a go and as UllyRunner says- one foot in front of the other- good for you making it to week 6- I hope I join you at graduation #2.0 :)

  • second graduation? What a brilliant idea!!! then you get TWO graduate badges?  xx

  • good for you .. GO LINA!!

  • Thank you :)

  • love your tags!! Shouting, itch, running, mental! Go you!


  • Haha! I hadn't noticed them- brilliant :)

  • I used to TRY and get as many 'weird and mental' TAGS as i could in my posts... its a great game! 

  • hmmm that's clever authorship there Anaverageman! I may yet entrertain myself by reading your old posts and checking your tags :)

    How often do you have to type a word to get it tagged btw? It seems pretty random...

  • Thats why its such a good game... you never KNOW what it picks up to 'TAG'  - oh i wouldnt read my old ones.. they are rubbish!!  ( unless you have been having problems sleeping of course) then they will be of use.. 

  • Well done - just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you'll get there!

  • Thanks Ully :)

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