I always bounce back!

[Hezzabelle]

It feels like I've dropped off the face of the world in this part of my life.

After managing to complete c25k in October and loving every minute, I managed to continue on with 3 runs a week. Through all the cold weather and dark nights I carried on out of sheer love for running, fitness and endorphins right into December! I'd got my 5k distance down to 33 mins and was working towards a 30 min run. I'd even got my first Parkrun under my belt!

However in that month my mum-in-law was taken ill and passed away after a short stay in hospital. Obviously, everything went out the window and my other half and his family became my priority.

Following the funeral and the onset of Christmas, my routine became much harder to return to. I kept up with a couple of runs but nothing near as disciplined as I had been.

Come new year, the January blues hit me hard. I guess a mix of post Christmas burn out, grief and my depression all got too much and I was no longer interested in running. I did still really want to do it but it had become so much harder to motivate myself and so much easier to stay in and sleep.

However, January has ended. I can see the difference in the sunset times now. Today is Imbolc in the Pagan calender which marks the mid point between the winter and spring equinoxes. Basically, it's the promise of spring. It means a lot to me. I feel rejuvinated and like I'm rejoining the land of the living after a long hibernation.

So what better time to at long last pull back on my trainers and set off on my running journey again.

Not sure how much fitness I would have lost by now, or how quickly I can regain it, I decided to play it safe and take Laura with me once again and started from week 3 just to "dip my feet in the water" as it were and test my ability. I also wanted to start from somewhere achievable to give me the motivation to continue. I think I'm capable of longer but didn't want to be proved wrong.

The run itself was difficult to judge. The running parts soon had my out of breath and questioning my ability, however the walking parts saw very quick recovery. I completed the podcast but felt I could have easily done more reps of the same. Upon reaching home I didn't feel tired or achy legged like I thought I might. Barely felt like I'd been for a run at all, in fact.

I'm going to give myself a rest day and then go out again on Tuesday. I may give week 4 a go to push myself along a little quicker.

Ideally I would like to be back up to 30 mins running for March. I think this could be doable. Then I'll be back on track to continue and up my training for a 10k later in the year.

It feels so good to be back. I got so many benefits from running. I felt better physically and mentally. I slept better. I was toning up. I loved the routine and structure. I loved the endorphins.

I am determined to not let what I built up go to waste.

[ju-ju- Graduate]

well done...you have made the first difficult step to come back after being through so much...its benn a tough time for you. You managed the run well, and it really won't take long to get back there again...and the days are getting longer which is the best ever, Winter can be so bleak....keep us posted on your progress and hang in there xx

[DH164 Graduate]

You will get there easily. It is so hard when you have family responsibilities to just drop everything and 'get running'

Is there a friend that you could run with, even if it is just once a week?.

I always feel guilty when I don't go running and sail past intrepid runners in my car on my way home from work, thinking ' oh I wish that were me'.

But why beat yourself up? Perhaps just try to do once a week .. and tell yourself anything more is a bonus.

[Ullyrunner Graduate]

So sorry you've been through such a tough time. I'm sure your return to running marks the beginning of life getting better. Take it at your own speed - just breathe and revel in getting out there. Good luck.

[Fitfor60 Graduate]

Life can be really hard at times and sometimes our priorities have to change . You were there for your husband and it is not suprising the blues hit you in Jan You will probably surprise yourself how quickly you get back to where you want to be re running And hopefully that will give you the energy to cope with everything Like you I love spring and the promise of better weather Keep Posting and let us know when you back doing your 30 mins

[MotherGoose Graduate]

Great post. Am in a very similar position following a number of events that happened to me in the run up to Christmas and the new year. Am hoping to get back out there next week. Once I've got the bug I know I'll get my mojo back. Good luck and happy running! X

[gypsydepp Graduate]

Inspirational.

I'm a SAD sufferer.......you've given me hope.....halfway to spring equinox....and my daff bulbs are poking green shoots through the earth!

They know before we do!

[Jellymum Graduate]

It's good to see you back. Sorry to hear how difficult things have been. It sounds like you are ready to move forward and I wish you lots of luck in getting back to your running.

[Hezzabelle Graduate]

Thankyou all so much for your replies.

As someone who suffers depression, it takes a lot of effort to try to change things. One of the reasons I did this plan in the first place was for the mental benefits.

I do aways find I get affected seasonally with january being the worst month for me. This year has been the worst ever.

But yes, I'm definitely ready to make a change now. Time to put it all behind me and move on.

I'm determined to make some changes in my life this year. I know the running helps keep me mentally afloat and motivated to continue with life.

And I also find this forum is one of the best places I can come to for motivation, encouragement and positivity.

I am always more inclined to continue and push myself when I read everyone elses blogs. We all have a shared experience and I've only ever seen open and friendly replies here!

So thank you. Your replies help me more than you know.

[nextjenn Graduate]

Welcome back you have had a difficult time of it, but its fantastic that you are back. I think working through the weeks and moving on a week if its not too testing is a great idea. You will be back to it in no time at all! Stay positive, looks like your life is on the up! Let us know how you get on

[Tinyrun Graduate]

Sorry to hear about your mother in law. The lighter nights are definitely coming, thank goodness. Bring on the endorphins.

[waletta Graduate]

It's good to have you back. You sound very positive despite everything. Good luck with getting back to 30 mins, I'm sure you'll do it. You sound as though you will. Roll on Spring.