Fail :(

This week I'm feeling rotten. Not ill as such, just tired, and miserable.

Yesterday should have been Week 8, run 2 for me, but I just couldn't make myself go out and do it. So I made myself go out today. But my heart wasn't in it. There's a random mini-heat-wave going on, the park seems to be packed with grandmas out with their infant grand children, so all I could think about was how my mam won't be at her granddaughters 2nd birthday party tomorrow because cancer took her from us last November. I was just feeling utterly crappy. So I wussed out after 15 minutes :(

I feel like a failure :(

8 Replies

  • You've only failed if you give up entirely. Look how far you've come! Just put it down as a bad run and head out again on Sunday.

    Be kind to yourself x

  • Your not a failure just having a bad day and we all have those ! Im sure next time you run your do great and l bet your mum would be so proud that your running week 8 ! you have already done so well keep it up im sure laura will get you to the end only 4 more runs to go good luck x

  • Please don't be hard on yourself, you're on week 8 which is fantastic! Youve had a little blip that's all not a failure, main thing is you're doing the plan. I hope it goes better next time for you, am sure it will x

  • Oh I really feel for you.Im same stage as you,and there are days I think sod it I won't bother.You have to go out there feeling positive,and at the moment is not a good time for you.I lost my dad just over a year ago and I am also grieving,although my dad was 100.When I think about him I think he would be proud of me,and you're mum will be so proud of you.Take time out and enjoy what's around you,keep well and you will be back out there running and get to 5km.You are doing fantastic xx

  • You haven't failed. You've got a lot going on and a heartache to contend with. Just get out there and run again when you get a chance. We're all with you in spirit.

    And all the best for your daughter's party. It will be full-on. Thinking of you x

  • You haven't failed, you're at week 8 and doing brilliantly, circumstances are just making it difficult at the moment. I can understand how you're missing your mum and seeing other grandparents with their grandchildren is like someone's sticking a knife in and twisting it. I bake cakes in my spare time and really struggle with doing birthday cakes for friends for their dads, because I know I'll never be able to do that for my dad who I lost 3 years ago. It still hurts and I'm sure it always will, but please don't let your sadness spoil your daughter's birthday - there will be photos, memories and stories of her grandmother to share with her as she grows up. Why don't you ease up on yourself for a few days and decide on going and doing a 15 minute run instead of doing week 8? You'll still be running but not pushing yourself at a time when you're feeling low. Listen to your body and your frame of mind and take a step back if you need to - it's not failure, it's just tailoring your running to how you're feeling. Good luck x

  • Just wanted to let you know that I totally agree with the other folk who have posted. You haven't failed at all, you had a run that didn't go that well... And you are missing your mam.

    I hope the birthday party goes well today and that you get on your shoes and do a good run next time.

  • Adzriel, How are you feeling today? Hope things are going better. You are still in the very early stages of grief but you will get through it & I'm sure that your daughter will help you through. That black cloak that comes down & seems to envelop you will change but it takes time. Don't bottle anything up. As the others have said be kind to yourself & allow yourself to grieve. Julie x

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