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I had a rhinoplasty who basically ruined my self esteem and life. Just had it recently but my nose looks like a plastic doll nose , too upturned ,too defined. I looks nothing like me and it makes me wanna hide. I am seriously thinking of wearing a veil soon to cover my nose . My mother is cursing me off that i am unhappy with the result and i understand her anger ,all i wish is that all of this was a bad dream and i do want my ugly but normal nose looking. I want a normal face ,not barbie doll one. I dont know how to learn living with this
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DeliaArama
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Firstly, just a warm welcome to our community. It's great to hear from you.
I can hear a lot of anxiety in what your write, so wanted to make sure we'd reached out back to you.
May I ask, was the Rhinoplasty through choice, or medically required? I have no wish or right to pry, and I don't expect you to want to say, but I wondered because these things are sometimes needed to fix other issues, and the side effects then are outside of your control. If it was a "By choice" procedure, then there is always a worry you may be feeling guilt or anxiety over whether you made the right choice. If it was caused by accident, and then required to fix it, then there is always "what if?!". Both are hard to deal with, but they still are in there in background.
What are your thoughts for the future? Are you thinking about corrective surgery? You don't need to say (if you don't want to). its a question for just you. Or you taking time to examine your thoughts? If so, that is such a wise move.
There are others on here with exactly this issue, so I will leave it to them to reply in more specifics, but should you need us, then do exactly what you did. Just post. We will be here.
Hi! It was a by choice since my old nose had a bump, was quite long and a big tip. I wanted the bump gone and a smaller tip (indeed both were made ,bump gone ,tip smaller) but it doesnt look like me. It looks like a barbie nose ,not close to a natural looking nose , everyone can know that this nose was made 100% by a surgeon bc its so "perfect" sculpted. It also fixed some breathing problems and a deviated septum i had but as a doctor said of mine. It wasnt life threatening i could have lived without this. I dont want another surgery rn ,im going to med school next year so i am saving money for that. This was suppose to be my18ty birthday gift, this nose job that i wished so badly for. My nose was my only insecurity, now i see it continues to be looking faker than a doll not anymore a human nose. But definitely got me pretty depressed. I ve lost 4 kg due to simply refusing to eat anymore . My parents are taking me out rn everynight in a park to get me out of my depressive room. And inalso self isolated from friends. But soon as im starting to breath again , i will be back studying so maybe it will take my mind off from reminding myself that this is the new face i have to work with and that ruined me. I simply just pray that i will accept this nose or that this piggy tip will go down a bit .
And also adding to this. My heart rate currently due to my anxiety is going a wild. Honestly i just pray i die soon . The recovery from a nose job is too much for me. My new nose hurts, i dont like it , i will also have to change school (not related to the nose job) i got depressed, i look like a cheap barbie , i lost weight and i was already skinny now im bones. I look and feel horrific , probably nobody will ever wanna marry me and a second nose job seems inhumane to me. Like cmon , two nose jobs? Im not rich so i will have to wait at least 6 years till i get a salary and also my mental health is already trash , till then idk what magic gotta happen so I won't off myself. So really my only chance is veiling my face soon (not in a religious way) but i simply feel like i destroyed my face and i cannot accept living like this. I dont know if i want to kill myself or not right now. It seems too much for me to handle . I also suffer from BPD so my feelings are felt to an extreme . I dont really want to die but I see no more options.
hello, just wanted to reach out and let you know that people are listening. I am worried you feel this way.
Put my mind at rest a little if able; have you spoken to your Doctor about these feeling? I would encourage you to do so if you can. You should not have to feel this way alone.
Was the surgery recent? I think it would be good if you can follow up. It may be (and often is) that surgery takes longer to get over than expected. You deserve to give yourself a bit of a break and allow yourself to recover properly. What would the future you, the future medic maybe, say to a patient? It maybe this experience will make you a better doctor for it. You dont know, nor do I., what lies ahead. The future us a blank page you just need to write for yourself and make it yours. That does make life uncertain which can be scary, but it can make it exciting too.
And who is to say you wont find the person of your dreams and marry? I did having been alone for 9 years, but that doesnt matter. You could develop into a wonderful caring doctor everyone would want to be around.
What you see in yourself is not what others see. I am way too hard on myself too, but that is the fault, not that i look a little different! You may be being too hard on yourself too.
It is hard to have courage to back yourself, but it can be done. And when you do, i would bet you have lots of potential to do amazing things. Go do them!
Hi DeliaArama and a warm welcome to our community from me too! I wanted to thank you for being so brave with posting your thoughts here and to say that I am sorry to hear how hard things have been for you and feeling that the rhinoplasty ruined your self-esteem and life!
Sounds like this operation had a big impact on you. I am glad to hear that you have your parents in your life supporting you and helping you take care of yourself. You clearly have a lot on your plate at the moment and you are also putting a lot of effort into your studies and your future. It would be great if you could find the strength and space to also remember to practice self-acceptance and self-compassion as it is so important to take care and prioritise both our physical and emotional health. I appreciate that you might be finding this hard to do at the moment but I hope that this feeling will pass soon.
I am also aware you mentioned you have been experiencing suicidal thoughts, if these thoughts feel strong or if you think you might act on them, we would recommend speaking to your doctor to let them know how you are feeling so you can explore what support may be available to help you.
Since you live outside of the UK, you could check LifeLine international as they have details of different organisations offering support in various countries (lifeline-intl.com/).
Health unlocked also has a list of organisations internationally which can offer support: support.healthunlocked.com/...
I will send you a dm as well with some more information you might find helpful.
And don’t forget that by sharing your experience and things you found helpful or not hopefully this will also help others in our community too. Please let us know how you are getting on if you find it helps.
Replying ,yesterday i tried to end my life but a police man found me and talked with me. I am not in a great place mentally but i will be getting psychiatric help in the following weeks
Thank you for your post and letting us know about yesterday. It sounds like things have been feeling overwhelming and that you have been struggling to cope which must feel hard for you. It’s really good to hear that the police spoke with you and helped you to keep safe yesterday. It really positive that you are now being offered psychiatric help and that you are planning to get support in the coming weeks. In the meantime, if you feel you need more immediate support we would strongly encourage you to reach out to your doctor, the crisis services my colleague shared with you, or the emergency services in your country if you need more urgent support. I am also going to send you a direct message.
Thank u for reaching out , i was diagnosed with cronic depression and this was like a last straw. I will see a psychiatrist the following week and will get on pills
Hi Delia, Thank you so much for your update. We've been wishing you well and rooting for you.
You are doing absolutely the right thing, and getting help with this. Don't let anything stop you!
And if you have days when you just want to sound off? Yes, we all get those. Please feel free to get in touch with us here. Thats what this board is for, and yo are part of our family now! We will always listen, and hopefully, the talking will help with your progress.
I know you may find this is difficult to see right now, but you have so much to offer in the future. This experience will, in time, make you stronger. Right now, I completely believe that may be really hard to see, but it is true.
Keep us posted on your progress, and if you need of us, just post right here!
Thank you for constantly writing to me! Yea currently due to my feelings of this rhinoplasty,seeing a doctor is the best option. I have my family, boyfriend and friends supporting me which im thankful for. And i am also thankful for this community replying to me ! I have no idea right now what will happen with my life tbh and my hopes are low. We also just found that some pills i ve been put on give you massive depression and suicidal thoughts, so we believe my depression amplified due to my medication from the hospital as well . I threw away all my mirror to avoid having any mental breakdown when i see myself to keep me in a relative stable state
Just checking in as just got back from the gym. I go as I find it helps me focus on whats important. Plus some days I find I need to punch the punchbag! Today wasn't one of them, so enjoyed my exercise and just back now, with Mrs CB and now armed with a cup of coffee in one hand and my usual croissant in the other.
I can see, just from you writing some of these things down, that now things make a little more sense. Things are often only clear when the whole picture is known, and for that reason alone, I'd always say to anyone to ask more questions (of anybody!) if you don't know enough to make a decision. If something does not make sense to you, you probably don't have enough information.
It does indeed sound like the shock of things not going right with the rhinoplasty has amplified the effect of a pre-existing medication.
While its not at all good that that happened, its certainly great to know that IT HAS happened, and therefore your medication can now possibly be changed to suit you better. It gives some explanation as to why you felt so low (making it not your fault!), but also it gives a path of how to address the issue, along with the other support your about to start.
So while I can see you hit a really low point recently, I am hearing that you are taking some incredibly important and really positive steps to improve matters FOR YOU. It will only be YOU that benefits from this moves. And yes, you do deserve it!
Keep at it Keep talking, you will get stronger from here.
BTW, no-one truly knows what will happen with their life. We all have plans and we all have plans that fall flat from time to time! Remember, your future is whatever you have the skills, ambition and passion you want it to be. It is not set in stone. It's yours to shape to be whatever you want it to be. You want to be that medic? Go do it ....
I've read all your posts and responses and let me tell you that you did all things right by posting to us and searching for help in your area and your next of keen.
I can see that this is all you here, you are taking responsibility for your own care after such a seemingly unpleasant outcome.
And I'm glad to hear you take a liking for medicine, knowing that you for sure will make a good practitioner. I'm sure you're actually helping many people reading you here make a little bit of sense of their own realities and feelings too as they know they're not alone.
So how has it been for you lately? How are things compared to how they were back then? I hope to hear from you soon.
Ps: Keep hanging in there! I can tell you by experience looking back at this you will SURE feel great. We only need one mistake to value what we are made of when we use that event to work on our own behalf. We don't see much of it in "normal-looking" people, but, like J.K. Rowling once wrote: "You might never failed in the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable...The knowledge that you have emerged stronger and wiser from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive..."
Hi ,im on anti depressants! They still dont do much yet bc its only been a few days. I was diagnosed with bordeline personality disorder and body dysmorphia . I still believe my nose is not matching to my face ,but to avoid any triggers ,i still didnt look in any mirrors and avoid any reflection to keep myself in a relatively more stabile state . Its sad what happened but we will see whats to come. I still admit i have suicidal thoughts but no plan or anything. My family told me that next year i can get a second nose job if i will not like my nose after it will fully heal but im scared . What not even the second is okay? What if it look even worst? How am i suppose to live 1 year with my face destroyed. What am i gonna do with school? Many thoughts are in my head but i will stick with my treatment and therapy and hopefully something will result out of it
Thank you for kindly taking the time to post an update. Its great to hear from you!
You are, I think, at the start of a journey. its great that the treatment has started, its just now letting it take its effect.
I think the decision on any further surgery is (a) yours and yours only, and (b) not a decision for right now. There is plenty of time. As you say, you've experienced a negative effect. why would you want to go through it again? By then, as I said, its not a decision for right now. You can as easily take that decision in the future, when you re ready.
The decision over school is more pressing. The options that open to you depend on that. The better you do, the more options you have. This is a thing which may open doors for you. I know school does not seem that way, but doing well at school does open doors. When you have options, you can then have more flexibility in changing your plans and adapting.
while that decision is pressing, don't let yourself come under pressure. It sounds you have quite a bit on your plate. so make so "me" time for yourself. You will find decisions easier to make when they are not rushed, and when you are not under pressure.
But reflect for now; you've started your road to recovery. Thats brilliant. Its your recovery, you and only you will know the way forward. Trust yourself. If you make a decision, so long as it has come from you, then it will be a good one.
I had come with my family with a plan. I will get therapy and avoid my reflection till i finish therapy. Considering i also have body dysmorphia , which i will work into at the therapy rn i cannot take a decision on another surgery or not. If by the end of therapy, after also my mental state upgraded to better , i will like my nose i will do no surgery , if u don't, we will do another procedure. I am/was a top 5 student. I understand how important school work is. But considering my mental state, i can freeze the year and stay home. Important is my mental health
♥️i was also informed that my nose was at risk of cancer if i wasnt to do this procedure:< . So at least medically speaking this surgery saved me. Now lets see whats going to happen ! I am scared? Hell yea , but i hope and pray that everything will work out. I give life one more chance
gosh. So there was more to the medical story. That does change the details a little. Yes things can be scary. Right in the middle of my own surgery episode, and yes its driving me bananas. Mostly becsuse what im dealing with changes every time i talk to the hospital. It has its scary days….. comes with territory!
Hi Delia ☺️, I have read all your posts above and I agree with everything Circuitbreaker has advised, he truly is a caring inspiring chap. I am glad that you are in an ok place right now as I have being there, I tried to end it 6 yrs ago from years of bullying. But what I learnt after that incident from YouTube videos with Wayne Dyer and Louise Hay changed my whole way of looking at myself 100%. You are young and so talented from reading your posts so the world really is your Oyster ( I think that is the right phrase 😊 ), and as CB said its what You make of it, as life is short and flies by, so you go out and be You and be proud of who you are, and if you want to get another rhinoplasty done down the line that is your choice, but be proud of who you are both inside and out as no one is perfect in the crazy world 🌎 we live in. I think you will do great things 💯, and if you ever need to chat or vent pop me a message 👍😎!!!!Go and be the best version of yourself 💓!!!!
Hi! Updating everyone! I am in therapy rn , still taking pills and all . I had finally the courage to look in the mirror. I still do not like how i look but the nose looks a bit better than what it looked last time i saw it. I still give it time maybe i will like it jn the following months more as a nose job needs a few months to truly heal and get a final shape. I have put makeup on to help my mental health a bit since i loved doing makeup. And with makeup i can say that i like my side profile and 3/4 view . Definitely my body dysmorphia has something to do with this but i see there is hope. Maybe in a few more months i will also like my front . I represent more than a nose even if sometimes is hard to stay on this optimistic side. I have talked to my professors and they gave me more time to gather myself before restaring my medicine preparations.
Hey! More updates, still doing therapy, enjoying my life as much as possible , even got a new haircut that fits me more , life isnt great but its significantly better. The nose is healing ,i can breath out of him and im thankful for that . For the looks everyone says it looks gorgeous, i don't see it but again i have body dysmorphia . Im glad im still alive and being able to accomplish some things , it will get better i can feel it. I will update my journey 👐🏻
I had been feeling very tired. I'd been wondering why. I assumed it ws my age, and the sheer amount of running about that i do.
Well, wrong.
Turns out I am seriously anaemic. I think the doc said I have 2/3 of the normal iron levels for a male of my age, My Doc is lovely, and she said, "why the hell at work? Most people would be flushed out".
Well, yeah, I do feel a bit like that, but I assumed it was my age and the fact my tumour stops me sleeping properly.
Anyhow. Now on iron supplements. Feeling better every day as I get iron levels back to a point where they can safely remove my tumour. It will be months before they are right, but, whatever. We are on course. The discovery I was anaemic was a complete fluke. Thank goodness for it though!
You never know what small steps may improve your life. The iron tablets I know will take their time, but I'm already wanting to eat again.
It is hard trusting your faith in something as complex as medicine, particularly when you know Docs don't know everything. Which is why always get a super team, that you would trust for ever more, and stick with it.
Great update. i love the fact your can sense things will get better. That's truly fantastic news, so my grateful thanks for sharing it with everyone.
Hey there 🤗, yes great to hear such a positive message Delia, good on you it sounds like you are looking at this in a whole new light and that is Fantastic, good on you 👍. There will be deffo times when it's hard to stay on the positive side, but those vids on YouTube that I mentioned help Alot in those negative moments, have a listen to one the next time negative thoughts creep in and I promise you that they will change your thinking process of yourself 💓😉! Good on you and have a great day ❤️😊?!!!!
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