How do people see me?(urgent): Hi everyone! I... - Changing Faces

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How do people see me?(urgent)

Reyhane_salimi
Reyhane_salimi

Hi everyone!

I've always looked ugly and asymmetrical in all of my photos. But I didn't care much because I loved how looked in the mirror since it had no flaws or anything. Just beauty i swear! It's been a year that i'm having this huge anxiety and fear that maybe people see me the way i look in the photos. My issue is pretty complicated to understand or even to explain. my problem is that I don't know how people see me. it is said that people don't see us the way we see ourselves .once I read this on a website:if you want to know how people see you, you should put two mirrors next to each other and blah blah blah. That reflection is how everyone sees you. When I did that I saw an ugly asymmetrical face just like my photos. It's been a year that i've been so depressed and confused. I've tried to kill myself a few times. So every single day when I wake up I ask this damn question from myself :how do people see me? I just need an answer. The ugly one or the one i see?7 days later is my 17th birthday. I'm thinking of commiting suicide on that day.if any of you think you can help me please do that. i don't want to say goodbye to all my loved ones and all of my memories. I still have hope sometimes.

10 Replies
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I can tell you that my daughter's face looks asymmetrical in a mirror but not when you are looking at her. You can also see it slightly in photos, but it is more obvious in a mirror. You absolutely do not see it looking at her. I hope this helps. I would tell you that beauty is not all physical, but at 17 I know how important it seems to you right now. I would be happy to help you in any way I could.

Thank you very much. This actually helped and enlightened my mood. Wow thanks really♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️🌹🌹🌹

You seem so very sweet. That is inner beauty and believe me it shines through!! Please keep seeking help when you are having thoughts of self harm. The world can't afford to loose people like you! Love and prayers to you , sweetness !

SamChangingFaces
SamChangingFacesAdministrator

Dear Rayhane_salimi,

It sounds like you are dealing with some very difficult and complex thoughts you right now and I am very sorry to hear you are feeling this way. It's positive you're reaching out for some support.

I will also send you a private message.

If you're feeling suicidal it's really important you get the help you need. Please tell a loved one how you are feeling or contact a healthcare provider to let them know you're struggling.

There are also organisations you can contact which provide emotional support if you're in crisis or experiencing suicidal thoughts. See the list here support.healthunlocked.com/.... If you ever feel like you're in danger of hurting yourself, please contact the emergency services - in the UK you can call 999, or go to your local A&E and tell them how you're feeling.

It takes courage to ask for help, and well done for taking that step. Please carry this on by confiding in someone you trust so they can support you.

Take care

Sam

younique
youniqueCommunity Ambassador

Reyhane, welcome. I am there with you. I too have struggled with suicidal behavior due to my asymmetry. My problem has mainly been the way people do or do not look at me. Even if someone says I look attractive, I've still felt locked in a hell that no one else seemed to understand. Truth is. We may never know how people see us. Not all people anyway. There will always be that unknown. We have to just take really good care of ourselves and stay mindful to detach from their reactions. It's not easy but it gets easier with practice. Also, I intentionally do the double mirror thing. I do this so that I see myself as I really am. And I work everyday to love the reflection I see. I've tried to hide from my differences but the best thing I've found is to face them. I hope these words help. Don't give up. I really mean that. ❤️ There is so much more to who we are than what other people do or do not think of us. I know it's hard right now at this time in your life but there is a whole world out there to enjoy. It does get better. Please believe that and know it in your heart to be true. Let us know how you are?

Hi.thank you very much for understanding me. Your advice has been really useful to me. Due to the fact that everyone tells me that i have no asymmetrical features and i'm attractive, i'm coming up with a new idea: maybe neither do i look like my reflection in the mirror, nor do i look like that double mirror thing. I've been struggling with not knowing exactly for too long. Now i added a 3rd option :none of them . People see me as beautiful and unique as i am. I haven't succeeded yet but i think this might help. What do you think?

This really means alot to me how you guys understand me and try to help me. No words can explain how grateful i am to have such nice understand people like you.♥️🌹

younique
youniqueCommunity Ambassador in reply to Reyhane_salimi

Exactly right! None of them! You are beautiful. Period. 🤗

I sincerely hope you are feeling better now Reyhane as you have been offered some really insightful advice from people who understand you and know exactly how you feel xx

I too know how you feel, I have always been told I am perfectly normal to look at except insults from 2 men, who, you guessed it, commented on my exact fears.

However no one else has ever noticed my asymmetry, people who bullied me in work if they had noticed it they would have definitely used it to hurt me. I know it's difficult to see but still, like you, I wish I was like most people, the others.

The majority who are just that bit more symmetrical. Who never have to worry.

They can put videos on YouTube and chat happily away. I can't because people would see my difference, the same people wouldn't see it in real life. But some things are off limits from us, we keep our secret, no one says a thing, we actually feel good about ourselves after a compliment received and then we glance at ourselves in the mirror. Good day over.

Except..during lockdown alot of programmes were aired with people talking on webcam. And to my delighted surprise some of them, not many granted but some , were one of us!

Their noses were off centre or their eyes weren't lined up quite right. One lady who was very attractive has her mouth distinctly up on one side, she is asymmetrical. Yet it didn't matter. She was a political speaker and was animated and passionate as she spoke with glossy long dark hair and piercing blue eyes. I kept looking just at her mouth, almost willing it to ruin her, but it had no influence. She wasn't perfect like the media dictates we should be, and she didn't care. She was stunning and I'm not saying that to give you false hope. It's just the truth.

I have realised over lockdown as we have witnessed more and more people speaking without deliberately flattering lights, make up and camera angles , that there are more just like us than we knew. Not quite as symmetrical as the others. But it didn't impact on their looks at all.😊

Obviously I don't know the severity of your plight. Buy understand here people struggle everyday with their own reflection in this superficial world and you always have somewhere here to speak your mind and discuss how you really feel 👍💟. But if you look ok in real life, forgetting the smoke and 'mirrors', then you already have so much to be grateful for. Some people would do anything to have that much.

Take care and please know you are worth so much more than how you look. I know it sounds trite and society seems to judge everyone on looks but there are many kind caring people who couldn't give a fig about your looks because they know it's what's inside that counts. External beauty doesn't last, it's a bitter pill for women to learn that men who used to hold the door will let it slam back once they approach mid forties.

Be kind to yourself, you deserve it. xx 💞

I have just joined this site after stressing over the exact same thing! Pretty much word for word

The real scientific truth is that you will never know. No you dont look like a monster, but you arent as symetrical as the mirror tells you. The reason why you dont see asymmetry in your own reflection is because your brain got used to it by looking at it for years and makes up for the asymmetry and preffers the look in the mirror. When you flip it your brain goes like wtf because it isnt used to see you that way and tries to make up for the assymmetry but in the wrong direction wich makes it even more apparent than it is in reality. Crazy what our brain can do 😉 so no no one is going to notice it in real life only you

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