I had a nose job couple of years ago, my nose was good and symmetric but I wanted it to be slimmer in between my eyes and the doctor ruined my nose for ever. It was an aggressive surgery left me with a very small, cuted wings, upturned and nonsymytric nose which doesn't match my face plus I have very bad scars. My life has changed after that surgery and I Couldn't get into a relationship anymore. Whenever I talk to someone they just stare at my nose...
The worst part of it is that people don't look at you as a victim, this is something that you've done to yourself and you deserve it.
I showed my nose to a revision specialist but he said it's better not to touch it as there are more scars inside of my nose and it may collaps.
I don't have any hope and don't want to live anymore...
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Sarinaaa
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Im so sorry Sarinaa. It must be devastating having so much hopes for a surgery that have gone completely the opposite... in the darkest times you have to be your own best friend and think that you didn’t deserve that. And as you don’t deserve it you have to be strong and carry on because it’s your life and we may never get another one. I wish you the best
Hope you're ok...I'm disfigured for life, due to skin condition...
I know what regrets are...loosing something you had...but that's life...
What's really important about regrets is this : It is an illusion.
Thinking you had a choice is an illusion. We are only spectators of a flow of thoughts that arise in our minds.
Morality : we never had a choice for our past action, and life is only a temporary experience...nothing is "that" serious, "that" important...
We think our lives would be perfect...but perfection only last a while...when everything is perfect for you, you then start to worry really fast about the coming end of your life...
What I want to say is...we're taking our life a little bit too seriously, as what we're living is a very temporary experience...so we should take a deep breath, and do the best to find things we enjoy...cause you litterally not be there anymore tommorow...
For example, got hit by a scooter 2 weeks ago when I was riding a bike...might have lost my life
Aha actually I thought about answering to Sarinaa...but my answer is for the whole community here, who can rely to it...
No, actually it was due to a skin infection a few years ago, that litterally disfigured my face for life...it's tough...I used to be a very good looking dude (even though I didn't realize it because of other confidence issue...life is ironic )
How did you recover from what you experienced? Are you marked for life?
I'm sorry to hear you are feeling this way, Sarinaaa. I am glad you've joined our community... and hope this gives you the chance to share, and also feel the support and care that people offer to each other here.
If you're struggling with suicidal thoughts and feel like you're in danger, please reach out to a crisis line or contact the emergency services in your area.
You may like to look at some self-help resources we have around mental health and wellbeing - you can find them at changingfaces.org.uk/advice...
Thanks for your support Sam, I believe we need a free line for young people who are thinking about having a plastic surgery, it's a very serious thing that for some reason no one talk about the risks and consequences.
I also experienced this and couldn't recognize myself in the mirror. My eyes were hollow and I always looked worried even when I wasn't. It completely changed my appearance. I went through obsessional thinking- going through what the surgeon should have done and what I could have said to have made that happen. Going to work helped me to stop this even though I didn't want anyone to see me. I never gave up hope that I would find a surgeon who could fix it and I did! Just over a year later, he made me look much better. You can't go back completely but you can go forward with great improvement. Hope you are feeling better about your eyelids now and have found some kind of solution to the problem. All the best, Louise
Hi Sarinaa. I am new to this site and am in exactly the same position. I could really do with someone to talk to who understands if you are still active here. I’m just as desperate after a really terrible revision rhinoplasty and my own massaging of my nose which has ruined my face and my life. If there’s any help you’ve found which has helped please do let me know as I also don’t want to live because of this.Thanks
Hello R1kp, welcome to the Changing Faces community. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way, it sounds like you've been having a really difficult time with your visible difference. I hope by being here and sharing openly as you already have that you will feel supported and that you’re not alone.
I noticed that you said you don’t want to live, if you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts then there is help available to you. You can contact your GP or you can get in touch with The Samaritans on Freephone 116 123. If things become even more difficult for you and you feel you’re in crisis then please do go to your local A&E or contact emergency services in your area.
Hi, I just had rhinoplasty june 3rd and have so much regret and wanted to die. If you see this and want to talk I could use a friend who understands what I’m going through too.
Hi Lam1991 i'm sorry to hear how you've been feeling after your procedure. It's sounds like you're dealing with some difficult emotions. You mentioned feeling like you wanted to die- I do hope you're in a better place now, but if you’re still struggling then it’s really important that you get the help you need.
We'd encourage you to talk to your doctor about your mental health, and reach out to somebody you trust to talk. If you're based in the UK, you can call Samaritans, for free, to talk about anything that's on your mind. They're open 24/7 on 116 123. If you ever feel like you're in danger of hurting yourself, we'd urge you to contact the emergency services. In the UK you can ring 999 and ask for an ambulance, or go to A&E to let them know what's going on.
I’m so sorry. I feel the same way, I’m so sad about my nose I think about it everyday with regret that I had surgery I am 8 months after the surgery. I was going through extreme suicidal thoughts and I attempted before, I still feel depressed I am planning on getting on medication even though I don’t want to take anything. I went through countless therapy. It makes you feel broken inside and people who have not gone through it won’t understand. I thought I was going crazy until I saw others online that go through what I’m going through. I really hope you find peace and I am hoping and I pray you like your nose one day because I know how it feels to hate your reflection after getting elective surgery & living with anger and regret at life.
Hi NaomiBee Welcome to the Changing Faces community. Thank you for your post and for being so open and honest about your situation. I am sorry to hear that you have been through such a difficult time.
I can see you referenced feeling suicidal before and that you are currently feeling depressed. This must be hard for you NaomiBee. If you feel unable to keep yourself safe at any point, we strongly recommend contacting your doctor or the emergency services. If you are based in the UK, you can also contact a crisis service such as Samaritans (samaritans.org/) who you can call for free on 116 123.
It sounds positive that you have a plan to speak to a doctor to get more support and I am glad you have found people online that you can relate to. I hope you find this community a friendly place to connect with others and share support.
Hi there! I agree with all you’ve said. Having plastic surgery that goes wrong is to feel a deep regret and loss that no one can understand. Also guilt that you willingly let someone do surgery; even if they botched it. I am still struggling with forgiving myself, accepting I can’t go back and change my decision and moving forward. I do think I can, and others who’ve been here, move forward even though there may always be a deep regret and residual sadness. Still life is a gift.
Hi Naomi, I’m almost at 1 year and have suffered immensely. Rhinoplasty ruined my life and the regret gets worse with each day. Please feel free to contact me. Axlam1991@gmail.com
Hallo, can we talk? I am in a similar situation, suicidal thoughts after ruin my face with horrible nose job at my own will. Im super regretfull and I dont know if I'll ever be able to enjoy life after this. How?
hi madzix, just reaching out so that you know their are people who have heard you. There are organisations that can help if you feel this way. Samaritans can if you are Uk and Ireland based.
May i ask? How long has it been since surgery? And how long have you felt this way?
Thank you so much it is hard, I try to get used to the fact that this is me now. I am 35 and single, i though that maybe my nose is the reason why I dont have a boyriend that maybe my crooked masculin nose is an obstacle. But I was preatty still. Now my nose somehow looks much bigger and wider on the front and my smile is gone I can not lift my lips. Im only 3 weeks pod my surgery I know its too early but I already hate the new shape. I wanted my original nose shape just withought the crookedness. I liked my nose hump even but now that its gone my nose is wider on my face and my face lost this interesting future, eyes looks smaller somehow, lips are smaller. I can only see the prominent nose on my face. I know i have to wait but i feel i lost my self and my Spark and my Beaty for ever
Hi Madzix it sounds like you've been through a lot and so thank you for being brave and sharing your situation with everyone here. I am very sorry to hear that you have been feeling regretful for the surgery and that you have been doubting all these things about yourself and your future. It must be very hard not being happy with the outcome of a procedure and I hope that you have people in your life that you can reach out to and talk about how you feel currently.
Many people we talk to in our services say they worry about their appearance and struggle with their self-image and self-confidence or have experienced similar thought patterns and it looks already that there are people here in this community that recognise some of what you're saying.
You also mentioned that you were experiencing suicidal thoughts a few days ago – it is really important that you get the right kind of help if you’re still feeling this way. We’d strongly recommend you talk to your doctor or local mental health service about this. If you feel that you’re in immediate danger of hurting yourself, we’d urge you to contact the emergency services number in your country or going to your local A&E.
Changing Faces cannot endorse any external organisations, but you might want to consider looking at this if you wanted a starting point:
I do think it important to talk to your healthcare provider or Doctor. While i caanot to tell you how to handle your situation (thats for you to decide what works for you) and while there may be be a lost of trust in them, I think it is very important that they know you have been feeling this way.
I wanted also to say that whatever things feel like, things in life generally get easier, but it can be hard to see and remember that at times.
Just remember that you have here a community of individuals here who can appreciate better than most what life is like in your shoes, and will be happy to talk and listen with you as you need to.
Hey im also in the same situation. Had a botched nose surgery 3 years ago and a reconstructive surgery to 2 years ago but not all the damage was fixed would like to connect with others please and looking for hope
Hi Natttttt and welcome to our community here! It sounds like you've been through a lot and thank you for sharing your situation with everyone. As you might have seen many people here might have had experience similar situations and challenges as you and and I'm sure people will recognise some of what you're saying. Hope that you will find this forum a helpful space to share more of your thoughts and feelings.
Going through the same thing right now. The surgeon ruined my nose and face. I regret not listening to my instincts. I gave it time to settle, but I am heartbroken, depressed and becoming suicidal. I feel like my life has stopped because I can't fave the world.
I had 2 nose injuries in my early 20s - ruined by confidence - had 2 nose operations and then a third in brazil - I believe that my life has been different - the injuries were not my fault - one thing you might consider - I had non surgical injections of a filler called aquamid in 1995 which specifically addresses non symetrical aspects of my nose - like you further surgery on my nose is not really advisable - hope this helps a bit .
Same situation! I had problems breathing, and the surgeon told me that during the septoplasty they could fix some imperfections in my nose. And, horrible surpirse ! I WOKE UP AFTER THE SURGERY TO SEE THAT they cut my entire nose and left me with a female, curved, tiny, upturned, pointed-tip nose. Before this I was very happy with my life, now I don't want to live like this, I have too much hope in a revision surgery ( I shouldn't) and every single day I am depressed (didn't know depression before all of this). My wife has been really strong an supportive (But she is suffering too much with all of this), I can tell that if this does not change it's going to end our marriege. I don't want to interact with anyone and constantly think about killing myself.
This is the worst thing that has happened to me and the doctors keep doing this to people like nothing happened. I didn't even authorize them to change the structore of my tip, just get rid of a little bump. But they cut and changed everything.
I don't even call my parents anymore and they and my wife are what I used to love the most in my life. I am lost!
I understand you had an operation on your nose which has affected your appearance and left you feeling depressed and like you don’t want to see or speak to anyone. This must be hard for you Santy.
I can see you talked about experiencing suicidal thoughts and feelings, which must be really difficult for you. It’s important to get support and we would strongly recommend speaking to your doctor about your mental health so you can explore treatment and support options available to you. If you ever feel in danger of hurting yourself, we urge you to contact the emergency services or a crisis service such as Samaritans (samaritans.org/) who you can phone for free any time of the day on 116 123.
Its good that you have felt comfortable sharing with this community, a lot of people with visible differences tell us they experience feeling low after changes to their appearance. I hope you find you can connect with others on here and feel able to reach out for support.
I have felt exactly as yourself. Exactly. It does get better. Hang in there. It’s such a hard loss; losing a part of what made you yourself. Facial identity loss is enormously challenging. The trick is to find identity somewhere else. Literally to give up the old you. There is love, life and hope ahead. Reach out for it!
That's exactly right and our identity should not be based on our looks even though that's easy to do. We are so much more than that. Still, it is a wrench to let go of that familiar face we have been seeing in the mirror for years. It takes time.
Hi, I’m in the same situation. Coming up on 1 year after rhinoplasty and I’m completely destroyed and suicidal. Please feel free to contact me to talk. Axlam1991@gmail.com
Hope you are over the worst now and you are able to talk more with your parents. It's horrible when you are going through the extreme anxiety and isolation that comes with not looking as you did but you are more than that and I really hope someone can help you change your nose a bit so that it is acceptable to you. All the best
i feel exactly the same, and what makes it worse it wasnt even a cosmetics surgery it was for my health! You trust a doctor with your face and they mess it up.
Hi there! I also was botched by a plastic surgeon. One of the first things I realized is that no one could empathize as it is such a unique experience. People see botched plastic surgery as something you chose to do to yourself, so have little sympathy and can’t understand how deeply it effects your identity, self esteem and self worth. I resonate with every word you have said. However, I am beginning to realize that life goes on. It just does. I can choose to get up and go on living, even if it’s hard. A few things that have helped me. I make sure my sleep is off limits to worrying and bad thoughts as much as possible. I give myself good pleasurable things to do (exercise, reading, music). I try to connect with those I love. I am trying to recreate my identity from the girl I used to see in the mirror to a girl whose identity comes from inside. It can get better, really. Find hope, however small, and hold on very tight. Life is worth living even when we don’t like how we look. It can still be magical and joyful… it’s just a new journey to get there.
Hi, I’m in the same situation. Coming up on 1 year after rhinoplasty. It destroyed my life. Please feel free to email me to talk any time. Axlam1991@gmail.com
Sabrina and everyone else going through something similar i dont know if youre still active here but i would appreciate it if anyone could dm me if you also feel like talking. Its been 4 months since my functional nose surgery and i still cant accept this is my new reality. Being botched.
I too had a botched rhinoplasty which was far too aggressive and left my nose collapsed and asymmetrical. I was a handsome guy and just wanted a bump taken off my bridge. A failed revision made it even worse. The surgeon offered me implants and injections but each one only made it worse. Now I have scarring, deformity, visible red marks and large blood vessels all over my face and especially my nose. I can't breathe through my nose and I have constant nose bleeds. It get worse and worse with time, getting darker and more red every year. Plastic surgery is presented as being safe but the truth is that it is so dangerous and unpredictable. My surgeon was very famous with a great reputation and lots of happy patients. I thought it was safe but he said sometime accidents happen and surgeries don't go as planned. Now, I can't date or be seen in public. I look awful and I'm so embarrassed to be seen. I'm doing my best to live, but I admit I'll be very happy when my life ends so I can escape what has been a complete nightmare ever since my surgery. I was so happy, successful, and active before. Plastic surgery ruined my life in every way imaginable. Please don't make the mistake I made and learn to love and accept yourself just the way you are. Talk to a doctor, counsellor or psychologist first and see if you might be suffering from BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) or if you're harbouring a distorted, overly negative view of your appearance: this makes you much more critical of little things that no one else even notices. BDD is treatable (with counselling with or without mild medications) and you can learn to accept and feel good about the way you appear and realize that your appearance does not define you or determine your worth. You are so much more than your appearance. I wish I learned that before my surgery. I wish everyone the best.
Hello, Happy New Year everyone. Not sure if anyone is still active on here, but thought it worth a try... I'm sorry to hear all your experiences with nose surgery. My nose has been changed a lot (much more upturned, and unequal nostrils) from a major jaw surgery, and I'm struggling to come to terms with how different I look. It's comforting to find other people who probably understand how I feel. I'm wondering if, given its been a bit of time since this original post, how you guys are doing, and if there was anything that you have done that has helped you move forwards? X
Hello, MPP24 – I'm reading this and I so feel you. I had a maxillary advancement 12 years ago and I was given poor pre-operative advice. Aesthetically, for my ethnicity, it was not the right surgery for me – I was 18 at the time when the NHS offered this to me. The aftercare was poor and they didn't tell me that the full results don't come until at least 1 year or 2 years later.
The same thing happened to me – upturned, shorter nose and wide nostrils. In that moment, I felt I had lost my nose and I went for an alarplasty and tipplasty as a corrective procedure, which caused more scarring and affected my smile. I'm not bad looking after the procedure, but I am coming to terms with a deep loss of agency at such a young age.
How far into recovery are you?
I would say: 1) Stay away from social media. 2) There are so many ways you can adorn an upturned nose and make it yours. 3) It's a long journey for self-acceptance while the swelling completely goes, but surround yourself with the right support, TALK about it lots. 4) Importantly, don't be tempted by invasive corrective procedures. You need years to sit with your new face – I liken it to starting puberty all over again, and coming to terms with your new face and body.
Hello MilkOpal and a warm welcome to the Changing Faces community! Thank you for posting about your experiences here and for sharing some really good strategies that could help people in their own recovery journeys. It sounds like you've had a really challenging time with medical procedures and the process of coming in terms with yourself. However, it's also clear that you have developed a lot of resilience and skills through this journey and you have surrounded yourself with people who have been able to be there for you as well.
I hope you find this community a safe space to share your thoughts and feelings and connect with others.
Hello Hranola and a very warm welcome to you! Thank you for finding your way to the Changing Faces community here and for taking time to reach out and support another member. Hope you find this a safe space to share your thoughts and connect with others and perhaps if you have the time or energy and you find it helpful you could share a bit about your story.
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