I've always looked ugly and asymmetrical in all of my photos. But I didn't care much because I loved how looked in the mirror since it had no flaws or anything. Just beauty i swear! It's been a year that i'm having this huge anxiety and fear that maybe people see me the way i look in the photos. My issue is pretty complicated to understand or even to explain. my problem is that I don't know how people see me. it is said that people don't see us the way we see ourselves .once I read this on a website:if you want to know how people see you, you should put two mirrors next to each other and blah blah blah. That reflection is how everyone sees you. When I did that I saw an ugly asymmetrical face just like my photos. It's been a year that i've been so depressed and confused. I've tried to kill myself a few times. So every single day when I wake up I ask this damn question from myself :how do people see me? I just need an answer. The ugly one or the one i see?7 days later is my 17th birthday. I'm thinking of commiting suicide on that day.if any of you think you can help me please do that. i don't want to say goodbye to all my loved ones and all of my memories. I still have hope sometimes.
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Reyhane_salimi
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I can tell you that my daughter's face looks asymmetrical in a mirror but not when you are looking at her. You can also see it slightly in photos, but it is more obvious in a mirror. You absolutely do not see it looking at her. I hope this helps. I would tell you that beauty is not all physical, but at 17 I know how important it seems to you right now. I would be happy to help you in any way I could.
You seem so very sweet. That is inner beauty and believe me it shines through!! Please keep seeking help when you are having thoughts of self harm. The world can't afford to loose people like you! Love and prayers to you , sweetness !
It sounds like you are dealing with some very difficult and complex thoughts you right now and I am very sorry to hear you are feeling this way. It's positive you're reaching out for some support.
I will also send you a private message.
If you're feeling suicidal it's really important you get the help you need. Please tell a loved one how you are feeling or contact a healthcare provider to let them know you're struggling.
There are also organisations you can contact which provide emotional support if you're in crisis or experiencing suicidal thoughts. See the list here support.healthunlocked.com/.... If you ever feel like you're in danger of hurting yourself, please contact the emergency services - in the UK you can call 999, or go to your local A&E and tell them how you're feeling.
It takes courage to ask for help, and well done for taking that step. Please carry this on by confiding in someone you trust so they can support you.
Reyhane, welcome. I am there with you. I too have struggled with suicidal behavior due to my asymmetry. My problem has mainly been the way people do or do not look at me. Even if someone says I look attractive, I've still felt locked in a hell that no one else seemed to understand. Truth is. We may never know how people see us. Not all people anyway. There will always be that unknown. We have to just take really good care of ourselves and stay mindful to detach from their reactions. It's not easy but it gets easier with practice. Also, I intentionally do the double mirror thing. I do this so that I see myself as I really am. And I work everyday to love the reflection I see. I've tried to hide from my differences but the best thing I've found is to face them. I hope these words help. Don't give up. I really mean that. ❤️ There is so much more to who we are than what other people do or do not think of us. I know it's hard right now at this time in your life but there is a whole world out there to enjoy. It does get better. Please believe that and know it in your heart to be true. Let us know how you are?
Hi.thank you very much for understanding me. Your advice has been really useful to me. Due to the fact that everyone tells me that i have no asymmetrical features and i'm attractive, i'm coming up with a new idea: maybe neither do i look like my reflection in the mirror, nor do i look like that double mirror thing. I've been struggling with not knowing exactly for too long. Now i added a 3rd option :none of them . People see me as beautiful and unique as i am. I haven't succeeded yet but i think this might help. What do you think?
This really means alot to me how you guys understand me and try to help me. No words can explain how grateful i am to have such nice understand people like you.♥️🌹
We will never know how others see us. It sounds like you have BDD as I do. The fact that we don't really know what we look like to others drives a lot of BDD anxiety. In reality, it shouldn't matter to us what others think we look like. We can't help what we look like but we can work on ourselves to make our lives full and happy. When others see us, they see a living, moving person, not a still image. We are more than just a snapshot of what we look like in a photo or mirror.
I sincerely hope you are feeling better now Reyhane as you have been offered some really insightful advice from people who understand you and know exactly how you feel xx
I too know how you feel, I have always been told I am perfectly normal to look at except insults from 2 men, who, you guessed it, commented on my exact fears.
However no one else has ever noticed my asymmetry, people who bullied me in work if they had noticed it they would have definitely used it to hurt me. I know it's difficult to see but still, like you, I wish I was like most people, the others.
The majority who are just that bit more symmetrical. Who never have to worry.
They can put videos on YouTube and chat happily away. I can't because people would see my difference, the same people wouldn't see it in real life. But some things are off limits from us, we keep our secret, no one says a thing, we actually feel good about ourselves after a compliment received and then we glance at ourselves in the mirror. Good day over.
Except..during lockdown alot of programmes were aired with people talking on webcam. And to my delighted surprise some of them, not many granted but some , were one of us!
Their noses were off centre or their eyes weren't lined up quite right. One lady who was very attractive has her mouth distinctly up on one side, she is asymmetrical. Yet it didn't matter. She was a political speaker and was animated and passionate as she spoke with glossy long dark hair and piercing blue eyes. I kept looking just at her mouth, almost willing it to ruin her, but it had no influence. She wasn't perfect like the media dictates we should be, and she didn't care. She was stunning and I'm not saying that to give you false hope. It's just the truth.
I have realised over lockdown as we have witnessed more and more people speaking without deliberately flattering lights, make up and camera angles , that there are more just like us than we knew. Not quite as symmetrical as the others. But it didn't impact on their looks at all.😊
Obviously I don't know the severity of your plight. Buy understand here people struggle everyday with their own reflection in this superficial world and you always have somewhere here to speak your mind and discuss how you really feel 👍💟. But if you look ok in real life, forgetting the smoke and 'mirrors', then you already have so much to be grateful for. Some people would do anything to have that much.
Take care and please know you are worth so much more than how you look. I know it sounds trite and society seems to judge everyone on looks but there are many kind caring people who couldn't give a fig about your looks because they know it's what's inside that counts. External beauty doesn't last, it's a bitter pill for women to learn that men who used to hold the door will let it slam back once they approach mid forties.
The real scientific truth is that you will never know. No you dont look like a monster, but you arent as symetrical as the mirror tells you. The reason why you dont see asymmetry in your own reflection is because your brain got used to it by looking at it for years and makes up for the asymmetry and preffers the look in the mirror. When you flip it your brain goes like wtf because it isnt used to see you that way and tries to make up for the assymmetry but in the wrong direction wich makes it even more apparent than it is in reality. Crazy what our brain can do 😉 so no no one is going to notice it in real life only you
You say that and I know science dictates thus, but I don't believe it's always true.
My partner has a very slight hooded eye and when I mean slight I mean it is not visible in photographs, reversed photographs , and certainly not in real life. I never noticed it certainly.
I did notice after a few years (it took me that much time to ask him because whenever he mentioned it I had no idea what he meant!) that he seemed to jokingly comment on his eye being "silly". I just put down the paper one day and said "What do you mean when you say that, I have never had a clue!" He looked at me blankly and said "My eye of course" I asked if if he had hurt it and he looked disappointed, told me to stop "playing with him". I said firmly that I had my idea what he was talking about so he instructed me to look closely at the offending facial feature. There was nothing wrong with his eye, nothing new, nothing flawed and I told him so, getting fed up in all honesty as he knew I had assymetry that was noticeable when inspected closely.
I followed him to the mirror in our bathroom and was shocked to see for the first time since I had seen my partner that his one eye looked far more hooded than the other, so much so it was apparent immediately. I looked at him and assured him he absolutely did not look like his reflection.
He isn't vain anyway but I understood why he was perplexed that I claimed not to see this "flaw" when I considered the image shown to him in the mirror everyday. Nobody has noticed it yet, it is not visible in photographs whatsoever and for that reason I'm not entirely sure I even trust mirrors now. Oh my assymetry is real enough but the camera confirms that. My partner simply does not look the way he does in his reflection. It's inaccurate.
I'm sure that's scientifically impossible but it's also true! I can now just about see it in real life after extensive studying but the mirror exaggerates it by a 100. I advise people to go on feedback of those they genuinely trust or photos if they must (particularly distressing for me) but night to trust their mirrors reflect turn when concerned with a visible difference, assymetry , any flaw minor or major.
Hey same here my face is very asymmetrical and I just noticed at 18 and I am really depressed because of it but reading this helps me also in 18 years of my life I've never heard a single thing about it idk if people just don't care or the just don't see it but I'm trying to go back to normal
Hi Vinnybbb , welcome to the community. I'm really sorry to hear about the difficulties your having with your mental health. I'm glad you've found reading through this thread helpful, there are similar threads that you may also find helpful if you search on the site for "asymmetrical face".
Hi Vinnybbb ! It's hard when the idea or image you once had of yourself changes. It takes some getting used to. Growing up I knew very little about my difference, or even that I was different. I mean, I always knew from comments here and there, but I didn't fully understand what it meant until I got older. So over the years I'd notice things about myself that no one ever discussed with me, or maybe even recognized about me. Oh my god it's been hard. When you think you are one way and then discover you are another, it can really affect your self esteem, sense of self and how you identify. So having experienced that myself, my advice to you is don't even think about it. Put your time, attention and energy into other things. However you look is how you look. We all look different. Even actors and famous people aren't always symmetrical. It might be hard to do right now, but just allow yourself to accept exactly the person that you are. Don't worry about whether you're symmetrical or not, don't let it control your life. You are much more than your looks, and by giving yourself permission to not be perfect, you'll enjoy the freedom of discovering who you really are inside. And as superficial as society may be, when it comes to our happiness and well being, who we are inside is really all that matters. 🤗
Very few people have a symmetrical face - those who do are considered the most beautiful people in the world because it’s so rare. It’s more important to feel good about yourself and not worry what others think.
i’m in the EXACT same position and it’s so reassuring to see someone else dealing with the same thing. when i look in the mirror and pictures my asymmetry seems so severe that it feels like i have a facial disfigurement. and every time i leave the house, people stare at me or give me dirty looks, even my friends and teachers. i’ve also had suicidal thoughts, self harmed and felt like life is not worth living, because my asymmetry makes me believe i’ll be lonely for the rest of my life and i’ll never be loved. i can’t even leave the house and all the dreams and passions i’ve had i don’t have anymore, because i know you can only make it big if you’re pretty. but people like my mum say there’s nothing wrong with my face, but i know she’s lying because she’s my mum. so just so you know i’m dealing with the same thing and i’m sending you love <3 this sucks doesn’t it
We dont look at all like the reflection in the mirror. We are always in motion. The way you walk or move your head when you speak about something thats caught your eye; the things you're learning about; these are reflections of you much more than a mirror.
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MESSAGE FROM THE ADMIN: This thread of posts contains sensitive information that could be upsetting. Rhinoplasty made me depressed 
Facial disfigurement only noticeable in photos...
I need help accepting myself
Cancer removal - tip of nose - botched reconstruction 
