I recently had skin cancer removal on the tip of my nose using Mohs. This all went well and was followed by facial reconstruction using a local skin flap. Unfortunately something went wrong here and I was left with facial disfigurement to the bottom of my nose and one nostril. I was prepared for significant scarring, but not for facial disfigurement.
The bottom of my nose is significantly lob sided with a clear dent towards the top where the scar is. My right nostril is also misshapen with a clear pull towards the top. The surgeon said that there were complications and that things “may” settle a little but that it’s unlikely to improve much. I’ve been told to learn to live with it. See how it heals and then look again in a year or so..
I’m trying to process this news as best I can and also navigate the changes but could do with some… I don’t know. Some advice? Support?
At the moment, I’m trying to avoid the mirror but am also drawn to it if that makes sense.
Because it’s on my face, I forget that something went wrong for a moment and then think “I should confront it so that I speed up the process of acceptance” and therefore feel like I should look in to mirror to analyse things and push my brain to deal with it.
I don’t know…
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ILJ15
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Hi ILJ15
Firstly, a warm welcome. I'm so glad you found us.
I'm sorry that your surgery didn't go quite to plan (from the sounds of it). Given I'm staring down the barrel of surgery myself, hmmm, yeah. It is disappointing.
There is no right or wrong thing you can do here.
You mentioned that you had a form of skin cancer, and that had to be treated. a downside of that is the visible difference that now exists.
Do you mind if I ask? which part of it, if either, that makes you more cross? The fact that the skin cancer occurred, or the surgery went awry?
Not that it matters. I'm just interested in how you view your own sitation.
I think my view would be, if the visible difference stopped the cancer spreading, then great, but the situation is one you own and not me, and therefore that matters not a jot what I think. what matters is how you want to move forward, so perhaps we leap in an say stuff, maybe it would help you if we knew more about your thinking here.
Was this recent surgery, and if so, are there follow ups planned?
To be honest: I had every confidence that the cancer would be removed. So that was not causing me stress.
We didn’t know how big the lesion would be so when Mohs was done, we were delighted as it was smaller than expected and therefore also assumed that the reconstruction would go smoothly with minimal scarring.
But then the reconstruction went wrong and what should have been “just scars” has now left me with disfigurement and as that was always my worry (and we tried really hard to prevent that, seeing the plastic surgeon many times in advance), the drop from being on such a high after Mohs is significant.
I feel let down as I took every precaution, asked many questions and simply didn’t expect it to go “this badly” wrong.
The plastic surgeon is also not happy and has asked us to come in on Wednesday for him to dress the wound and also speak to us about things. This confirms that we are not unreasonable in our upset etc but that confirmation also puts salt on the wound, if that makes sense.
So it’s the visible remnants that are tough.
After waiting and preparing for the surgeries as best as possible, hanging in there for almost a year… I’d hoped to be at the end of the road and now it feels like the whole ordeal is just starting and I’m not sure how much petrol is left in the tank.
so it sounds like in it way that something cropped up that wasn't foreseen. i don't know if that's right or not, so my apologies if that's the case, it's just how it reads. I know you did a lot of due diligence pre-op, but even so, things can occur out of the blue, and that is always a surgery risk. Its important everyone understands that.
If the surgeon wants you back in in short order (wednesday), then ** don't panic ** (i know that easier said than done, but....) listen to what is said on Wednesday FIRST.
I don't think you can make any reasonable decision on what to do until YOU have all available information. And you don't know what the surgeon will say yet.
So, I would take time to gather your thoughts, prep any question you may have, and then talk-talk on Wednesday.
After that, you will know more and and fire your anger if you need to, or hopefully not. Or do whatever is needed post operatively.
But for sure, now is not the time to do it, Eat well, sleep well as you can for now, Rest. And be in the best posible version of you you can be Wednesday.
Now there's an analogy for me! When I was young, I never like rollercoasters (of the fairground variety). Now I love 'em
I long since learned the way to enjoy them is to look ahead. See where you are going to duck / dive / hard left turn, do a corkscrew. know it's coming.
If you can anticipate the bumps in the road, they will always come as less of a shock,
Of course, you can never anticipate everything ......
you did exactly the right things, no question. When life throws curve balls, you have the best response possible. Sleep on it. There is always tomorrow.....
We all get tough tough days. Its comes sadly with the territory. But the cool bit, is you did an amazing thing, You spoke up right away, because you recognised it.
That takes some doing. It says you have a degree of mental strength that will nail whatever is coming. So that's a mountain of credit right there.
So your focus now is Wednesday. And see what that brings. From there, cool heads and calm reflection. And go where you heart tells you is right for you.
Thank you again for being so supportive earlier on this week. It was an absolute lifesaver!
Met the plastic surgeon yesterday. He did somewhat explain what went wrong and while I think I understood, I’m not so sure now so will have to ask again. It just seems like “my skin was tough” and not responding as expected, which meant different techniques were needed to complete (what should have been) a relatively simple procedure… and therefore also the disfigurement.
The road to recovery will be long and while he said that there may be small and large options available to fix it somewhat, it’ll take time and there are no guarantees. I think he meant that there could be nasal surgery in a year’s time but given how my skin behaves, this could be risky.
It seems like it’s very much a waiting game where I need to heal from this part for at least 3 months.. let things shift and settle for about 6-9 months, and then look at options.
In all of this, I did not ask about you though. And I am sorry about that.
I hope you are well, or at least as well as can be?
Great update. thank you, and thank you for asking about me. Doing ok here.
don't worry about not understanding first time. Just ask again. And ask until you do understand.
You are not a medical professional, the surgeon is. So they should be good enough to give you any number of explanations until it hits home. You need that. Not just that that, you deserve it. But frankly, just plain you NEED it.
At the end of he day, if you are over 18, in the UK, you GIVE CONSENT to operate. which means you have to understand what you are consenting to. and the risks,
If you have to give further consent (for more surgery), you will need to know WHY.
What you say makes total sense. Your surgeon had a hard time and had to resort to a plan B.
Now what we need to worry about if how you feel about that. Don't be any rush there either. It may take time to crystalize how you feel. You do seem pretty upbeat. That was one fast update!!
And yes, I think you should let things settle. Your body knows what it needs to heal. Let it do its thing. But keep your surgeon on speed dial, and us.
And you need us? well, here we are ....
To illustrate how unexpected things can be in the surgery area, here is my example. I am doing pre-op tomorrow (no major issue).
In blood tests this week, which I dreaded, I was not even slightly sure what may get picked up. Guess what the primary observation was?
Everything was nominal. Except my cholesterol.
My cholesterol is so low i can virtually eat whatever. Given I'm 24 stone of rugby player, I ** never ** saw that coming ..... Seriously, if I ate fried bread cooked in bacon fat for a year, I now doubt that in my case the blood test would even notice. But that shows that you have surprises medically, for you, or for your doctor. My doctor's reaction was literally "Holy cow!".
So, my last blood test gave me a shock! But of course, that can always go in either direction ...
And I think that's why being able to roll with it as needed is such a good thing to be able to do.
Wishing you well. Keep in touch with the community, we'll always be pleased to hear from you!
Hello ILJ15 , I just wanted to extend the warm welcome to our online community from my side as well and acknowledge your presence in the forum as it's great that you found us and you have already been able to share some aspects of your story here. Hopefully you'll find this platform helpful for sharing your thoughts and connecting with others that might be able to appreciate what you are going through in your journey.
It sounds like things are still in motion from the medical side of things and very understandably you might be experiencing lots of different feelings about all that could vary day to day. Sometimes it takes a while for things to settle and the healing process to start and I'm not just referring to the physical wounds that need healing.
Wishing you all the luck for the appointment on Wednesday and please do keep us updated if you feel able to do so and it's helpful. We are happy to support you in any way we can at Changing Faces so please do reach out if you ever feel the need to.
Hi ILJ15 just to let you know I sent you a direct message with some information about your question above, hopefully its helpful. Caroline - Changing Faces
Hi ILJ15! It's so great to have you here! Please feel welcome, from now on this is your place! I've read your story and it seems you're kind of finding some options by now, which is what reaching out is all about. I hope everything goes well for you...yeahhh, I know I'm greeting you a bit late, but the more the merrier, as they say...I like how thorough and honest you've been in dealing with this issue. Finding a solution to real or perceived disfigurement (both are quite similar) can be really challenging, no easy script or formula to apply, no magic quote or quick fix, so we must go step by step, day by day as situations unfold.
...And I know that's how we can fix our struggles, just taking it one day at a time. Keep us informed of your everyday struggle and reach out to us whenever you feel you need us. I'm sure we can be of help, not as individuals but as a strong community, part of which you now have become!!
A big squeeze! I hope to hear from you soon, ILJ15!!
ILJ15 how are you doing nowadays? I have a large mole on the center of my nose that was biopsied and botched - leading to scar tissue and disfigurement, so your post caught my eye. I've considered the same type of surgery you had, but can't decide if it's worth the risk. Have you improved physically or in your mental health over the last year? All my best.
Hi Wordofhope and welcome to the Changing Faces community! Thank you for sharing a little bit about your story hear, it sounds like you have also been through a lot of challenges with your health and post surgery recovery. Hopefully, you found it helpful reading someone else's post about similar experiences to yours and it's lovely that you are checking in with them about their physical and emotional wellbeing. I do hope that you are also doing well in all respects and that you are looking after yourself whilst considering the next steps in your journey.
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