After finishing couch to 5k, I thoroughly enjoyed my injury-free running for two years. Over last Christmas I ran two half marathons. However, it all came to a shuddering halt in June when I stupidly tore my piriformis doing an exercise programme (not running).
I'll gloss over the five months of excruciating pain and come up to date. I've been out running again three times in the last two weeks and I'm so disappointed I'm really not enjoying it anymore. I don't mind my pace or my distance, I'd be daft not to expect to have to start again. What I wasn't ready for is my loss of confidence in my own body. I seem to have a constant conversation going on in my head: Is my hip twinging? Should I walk for a bit now? Maybe I should lose half a stone before I run again. What if I suffer for this tomorrow?
It's not as if I've had any problems - in fact I've felt better each time I've gone out, but I'm finding it a real battle to get out the door now, which isn't something I've ever experienced before.
I'm not really expecting any solutions, I'm just having a moan. This is just a sympathy post. 😔
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Speedy60
Graduate10
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Oh dear I'm sorry you're feeling like this. Despite your loss of confidence, you are running, so clearly you want to.I completely understand, having myself had a long period of injury and feeling quite scared to restart, but you have restarted! Despite you knowing you have to build up gradually again and accepting that, going 'back' to that place of being a 'new' runner can be tough.
I know you weren't asking for solutions and essentially this is mind over matter, but I do wonder if you found somewhere new and beautiful to run, whether that might help, so that you can get lost in the run and in your mind.
Going from the dizzying heights of half marathons to restarting is a big difference and trusting your body can be an issue I know.
What I try to do is to explore new paths when I'm actually on the run, so it's like a mini adventure. Nothing is planned, and as soon as I do that, the experience changes and it's less about running and more about moving through the landscape.
I don't know if that makes sense. I really empathise as I went from regular 10ks and further, to nothing for 6 months, when I completely lost confidence.
When you've been in pain, it's hard to acknowledge that you're healed.
Good luck. The fact that you are posting suggests you want to do this and enjoy again!
Thanks for taking the time to reply to my tales of woe, Roxdog. You're right, I really do want to run again. The irony is, I've spent the past few months walking round my flatter running routes while mentally critiquing other runners' form and generally feeling jealous. And the times that I have been out running (jeffingat the moment), I've come back feeling energised. I just have to get my big girl pants on (literally 😳😆) and get out the door! X
Gosh,,, tricky times indeed and I too, can empathise , completely, with you.
Having got up to HM level running(, last one just before the pandemic in 2019), I had a blip in October 2020 and like you...running stopped. Not as painful physically as your horrid injury, but equally hindering!
I was under medical orders not allowed to restart running straight away, but, by December felt ready to do C25K all over again. Five years on from Graduation the first time around and back to square one.
Terrifying. I know! First run... harder than climbing Everest!
Literally, all you can do is, run, and listen to your body...not your mind... find as Roxdog suggests, a new route maybe? Reverse a route, and then just take it gently and take everything in as you go.
Set your stuff out the night before, plan the route and then head out with no expectation other than enjoying. Make up songs in your head, make up rhymes, look around.
Maybe focus on one bit of your running style, like in C25K... relaxing your arms and hands and face, rounding your heels... running tall.
But be aware that you may be feeing tense, waiting, subconsciously for that twinge, that ache, that sharp pain...so some relaxation exercises in between runs may be helpful Yoga especially Great ideas on the Strength and Flex forum
You are going to get aches and pains, we all do, it is normal, but you need your mind to accept that
Not saying it would be right for you but there are a few folk repeating C25K right now and joining in with the Catch-Up Corner on C25K forum... we are supporting each other. Maybe choose some runs from the C25K programme and because you KNOW you were fine doing them, that could help?
I completed C25K in June... it took me from the December! But I am running, not far and not fast and only when I feel like it and my body says, yes.... I no longer feel the fear...It is enough for me, no pressure.
So.. well done you, you will get back there. x Hope this helps x
Thank you so much Oldfloss for your ever-wise advice. You are right in saying that my body has become tense. I've been so incredibly lucky in my 61 years never to have been seriously constrained by my body. (I was going to say 'let down', but I don't think that's a helpful way to look at it.) The last few months has been a life-lesson in acceptance and patience for me.
I've also learned more about the anatomy of my bum than I ever needed to know. In the grand scheme of things, it wasn't a huge injury, but the piriformis being next to the sciatica nerve was enough to put me on prescription painkillers for weeks. I really, really don't want to go there again! I've has physio and I have a recovery and strengthening programme. I just need to get my trust and self belief back, and the only way to do that is to test it.
I feel like I used to keep my gremlins shut up in a box and now they're out there running riot round my brain. I just need to get them back under control!
Bums are a pain (literally) aren't they! All the strengthening work in the world hasn't completely sorted out my lazy left 'bum'! I sit down working far too much! 🤣
I get a bit fed up with my non-running friends telling me to rest and take it easy. Literally, my doctor and my physio told me not to sit down and to keep moving. I've had few problems walking, swimming and now slow running, but sitting on the sofa and gardening can be excruciating. No one has yet told me to be careful about watching Strictly 🤔
I hear what you are saying, I had a trapped sciatic nerve! a few years ago. Terrible pain... it was some on on here who gave me a link to some exercise which gave me the first nights rest in weeks !Just do what you are doing...pick up the running shoes and set those gremlins running for cover... you and we can do this.. together as always
Thank you for posting. It might be an idea to think of these formative runs back as 'free hits' and experiments. You can run wherever, however and whatever. Being out and getting regular will feel like you're on a proper journey back. I'd say you've done brilliantly so far just to get back out. One run, one experience and one ticked off each and every time 😊😊
Thank you so much for your encouragement. It was really a sympathy post and your response has nailed it. I do belong to other social media running groups, but when the chips are down this is still the loveliest and safest place to come. 🥰
Very best wishes. I do hope these despondent feelings pass soon. Others have shared their experiences and recommendations. Maybe: Amplify and hold to your own vital words ‘I’ve felt better each time I’ve gone out’ … and reach out for every trick in the book to get yourself across the threshold.
Sometimes you need a moan and a bit of sympathy, you’ve had a rotten time and are bound to worry about every little twinge, your confidence will return I’m sure with time as you learn that not every twice leads to pain and misery, don’t push yourself. Hugs
Yes I think we were fairly new together, i’m slow and Willow runs less far but it’s still fun and I enjoy reading others posts to see how they are getting on
If you needed a moan you're in the right place! It's an awful feeling when you suddenly feel you can't trust your own body. I'm redoing c25k - sort of. After repeating every run at least once I got to week five and knew I can't possibly do the 20 minute run, so now I'm jeffing. On my last run I ran 5, walked 2.5, total run time of 25 minutes. I'm monitoring every twinge, ache and pain to know how to proceed. When I first restarted I was terrified with every step I made! I altered my usual technique - I go very slowly, and it's almost Japanese slow jogging, so that the impact is minimal. If everything feels good, I'll speed up a little.
But the good news is that this now feels doable, I'm feeling much more confidence in my body, and I'm enjoying myself. My speed is picking up as I get stronger. It takes lots of patience. Lots. And if I forget my physio exercises, I can feel it! But it's so worth it. The confidence does return. I often run with a friend now, who is also happy to take it slow, and that's a lovely way to distract myself from worrying the whole time.
Thanks, I'm glad you're on your way back to form. I've been Japanese slow running and jeffing. That doesn't worry me; it's those chattering voices I'm struggling with. You are right, I need to get out there for my confidence to return.
And yes, this is the safest, most caring place on the internet to have a moan. Thanks for replying. X
After my first time off the IC I re did the programme, and for the first 5 weeks every run was cautious and every tweak was over ( and over) analysed. At some point this did stop, when I realised I hadn't done any damage and the physio had worked. I just took a lot of convincing.
I'm sure you will get the feel good feeling back, but regarding sympathy, these might help 💐🎁🍪 ( the last one as it's special to you!)😘
Thanks Instructor57. I used to enjoy my running so much, I never really knew what an attack of the gremlins was, except occasionally when they ambushed me half way round a run.
I think I need to listen to the wonderful Eddie Izzard interview on runpod from last Christmas again. I highly recommend it - it made me want to get my running shoes on there and then! According to Izzard, 90% of running is a mental challenge, the other 10% is in your head. 😊
I remember it being so tough at the start of C25K that it was a case of mind over matter to get out the door even though I really wanted to run. It’s probably the same the second time around. Just keep getting out there. Reward yourself in little ways for going for a run. I read on here that someone has a really nice shower gel they use to treat themselves after a run. I do that now and it makes for a lovely post run shower 😊 Add a bit of external motivation until the internal motivation kicks in, like signing up for a distance medal. Hope the runners high comes back soon and well done for getting back out there 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Thanks Frizzbomb (great name, by the way). I have thought of signing up to a strava challenge. I used to do them every month, but there doesn't seem to be a challenge called 'just get out there'. I'm wary of setting artificial challenges because I could end up not listening to my body.
I am already signed up to the lands end to John O'groats challenge. I've been sitting on the verge of the A9 outside Invergordon for the last five months - no wonder my bum hurts 😉. Just getting to Glen Morangie for a tipple 🥃 would be an achievement. 😊
I do have to report that I went out for a trot this afternoon, so I'm getting there 🤞 Xx
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Great ideas on the Strength and Flex forum 
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