Grandad poorly

[Bolt21]

Hi,

my grandad is very unwell and likely to die in hospital- I have known it is coming for a while as he is elderly and has slowly deteriorated but now I am having to sort his belongings and house etc. it is hitting really hard. I feel so helpless and I cannot do anything for him but due to the medication he is on sometimes he is unaware of who I am or where he is, and gets really distressed, confused and upset which is hard to see and of course awful for him. I just don't know what to do and how to feel. I am disabled myself which limits how much I can do and help but this adds to the pressure on my mum. She is completely overwhelmed and down about everything (her dad), and I don't know how to support her and I feel like I should be referring her to services for support but I don't want to do this without her knowing and I don't know if it is what she would want- she is the sort of person who wants to deal with everything on her own and is always going 100 miles an hour- i think to distract her brain from what is really happening

[chloe40 Administrator]

Hello Bolt21

Welcome to our friendly Community.

Oh dear, what a very sad situation, I really am sorry.

It's very distressing for you to watch your grandad and worry about your Mum too.

Just being there for your Mum will mean so much to her and your grandad if he becomes aware at any time.

You will need support yourself too, as you both have different needs and different relationships with your grandad, but the extra support may come a bit later. For the moment, asking your Mum what you can do for her and grandad would be so appreciated, I'm sure.

You're being so brave and I am very proud of you for being so strong, but it's okay to ask for help.

Firstly ask Mum if she wants you to contact anyone. Do you have other family you can share this with?

If you do lose your Grandad, bless him, there will be a lot of things to do, but while he is okay, take this opportunity to have a quiet talk with your Mum.

Please look after you! and remember, you can post here and ask questions or ask for support anytime, any one of our members has a wealth of information to support you.

Sending support

Chloe x