Why is loss and grief such a difficult topic...

[chloe40]

for people to talk about? it's happens all the time, yet I can't think of any other subject that is so awkward for people to talk about.

Chloe<3

[Dolphin14]

My thought is people don't know what to say. It's hard to come up with meaningful words. So they just close off.

Personally I never use the common cliches. I didn't find them helpful for myself so I don't say things like.... they are in a better place, they are no longer suffering, it will get easier with time etc.

These words did not console me. They made sense down the line but not in the acute phase of grief.

❤️🐬

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Dolphin14]

That's very true Dolphin14 but I'd so like to hear words of sincerity from those that do have the [courage] to say anything. It's a subject that really get at me!

Chloe x

[Dolphin14 in reply to chloe40]

We def want acknowledgment versus silence. I agree. ❤️🐬

[kenster1 Volunteer]

we are all different so is our coping mechanisms some of us can freely talk about it some can`t I think the circumstances play a big part.my son was my first significant loss although I`d lost relatives before.for a period the nature of his death probably what was on everyone`s mind in my head it was just the numbness disbelief the sadness and shock.it took a long time for me to just talk about him as our togetherness was deliberately kept apart so all I had mainly was the shock of that day.now I freely talk about our little times together the circumstances from his accident do surface but usually on his anniversary give or take a week or two each side of it.

[chloe40 Administrator]

That's true Kenny kenster1 but it would so supportive if the people that actually know us, said something like, 'I'm here for you when you want me' or even just sit with you, no need to talk, now that to me is worth so much.

Chloe x

[kenster1 Volunteer in reply to chloe40]

it would be good if we did have regular people who can comfort us when needed but after the dust settles people just expect us to carry on with life like nothing happened.

[chloe40 Administrator]

And that's where there's a huge misunderstanding <3

[Caza]

I think people seem to think that it’ll somehow rub off on them. They don’t like to think about it, they prefer to keep in there own little world of pretend happiness. I had so many so called friends turn there back one actually did run when she saw me. It so angered me that I ran after her & asked her why. She said that when she saw me it caused her pain & made her cry. Nothing that you can say to that. We never spoke again. She lived next door but one to me bet she was pleased when I moved. I could tell you endless things that happened to me when my daughter died in tragic & horrific circumstances but that’s not the question. Why are they like that 🤷‍♀️ I think it frightens them. I have no fear of dying & of course that topic has arisen with this pandemic & that seems to frighten people as well. I don’t know Chloe. The Irish seem to do better on that front.

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Caza]

Hi Caza

That's unbelievably annoying and very very sad that people can be so ignorant x

I fail to understand just what goes through people's minds, I could never do that.

X

[GoGo_JoJo in reply to Caza]

That's so sad. I can't imagine doing that to anyone.

I don't fear death, not anymore, it's basically part of life and we have to embrace it if we want to embrace all that life has to offer.

I do think, especially with tragic or traumatic deaths some people do think it's more likely to touch their own lives if they get too "involved". 😔

[Caza]

Yes I think that’s true but sad