Feel lost and alone with my grief

[RachieW]

I feel so alone... my partner won’t talk with me. No one is mentioning my Dad anymore and I feel like their all forgetting him and I’m left feeling lonely with no one to speak with and I feel lost. My life is crumbling around me and I don’t know which way to turn. Just want my Dad to talk to but I can’t.

[Greyone]

Hi RachieW.

It isn't long ago since you lost your beloved Dad, is it? So soon after such a painful loss, times seems to move very slowly and a day can seem like an eternity. It can be difficult for a partner because we all handle the loss in different ways and maybe not having the words to express his feelings makes his silence even louder.

You have made some caring and supportive friends here. people you can share your feelings with without what they will say because that is what binds us all with unconditional giving.

Do you have any happy photographs with the three of you together? Or maybe you both visit places you or you both went to with your dad? Maybe your Dada shared his own memories with your partner. Do you keep around your home any treasured keepsakes or memorabilia that would allow you both to reminisce? If t is just a question of finding the right words that he's comfortable with, these things would be one way to try a few words about a happy occasion?

It may seem to make things just a little harder for you but in time he may pluck up the courage to speak about your Dad or you may come to think that it is too difficult for him. Either way the very best of luck.

[RachieW in reply to Greyone]

My partner actually just broke up with me today saying that things aren’t right (his view of things not mine) so I’m at a loss now. Losing the two of them in the space of two months has taken me to a low. I have memories of my dad around the place his photos etc it helps but sometimes I have to put the photos away because it makes me too sad to see him only in a photo

[chloe40 Administrator]

Hi RachieW ,

So many of us including our immediate families, as you have found, find it very difficult or nigh on impossible to talk about a recent close loss. Even when time has passed, for some reason, it's like 'the elephant in the room', which is a great shame, it's so much better to be able to talk about them, all the sad things and especially the little funny things that they said or did, it helps cement memories in our minds.

Rachael, I would suggest that as well as chatting to us, would you consider talking with a bereavement counsellor? that way, you will have undivided attention. In the long run though, I hope you are able to get them all together and ask why? It may just be that your Dad's loss is still too raw to discuss.

Take care Rachael {{{hugs}}}

Chloe

[Lperica10]

We are here for you on here!! This helped me get through some very difficult times and continues to help me.

[GoGo_JoJo]

I found talking out loud to my Dad helped as I could almost hear his responses.

Losing a father is very tough. We generally look to Dad for balance and logic and grief has none.

I'm so sorry your partner has chosen this time of all times (not that there's ever a good time) to leave you in the lurch. It's definitely time to reach out to your friends for support.

Don't expect too much of yourself, you're doing better than you think.

[socratesanne]

Some people have harder time dealing with loss and you partner seems to fit this pattern and even though you feel you have lost them both, it is possible your partner, without your understanding might have made the loss worse when he was around avoiding the discussion. Moving forward is hard, but might be easier as you can focus on your goals for a fulfilling future. Not sure is this is so, but grief is not a one size fits all. Your partner was not being the strength you needed, even though I am sure he was meaningful person in your life.

[Hidden]

I know this is an old post. How are you doing now days?

[socratesanne in reply to Hidden]

Never got this message and not sure where or how it cam into my alerts but there are now numerous ones?!?

[socratesanne in reply to Hidden]

How can I reach you? I did not see this message until this week. I sent. a message to dagrant but got no response and someone told me that if it comes from Hidden that you are no longer on the forum.