Y How long does it take

[Bigneil1]

My dad died over 2 weeks ago. I am 48, surely I must feel better soon. Is it normal to feel so bereft. Been caring for him for the last 4 years and we became very close. Will the pain ease ?

[chloe40 Administrator]

Hello Bigneil1 A very warm welcome to our Community.

Two weeks ago is so very recent and your emotions must be raw. I think you need time to come to terms with your loss, losing your Dad is huge loss especially when you had a close relationship, so please take your time, accept that you're not going to just 'get over it' in such a short time and be kind kind to yourself.

We have lots of friendly supportive members who will always support you, so remember, we're here for you<3

Chloe

[Bigneil1 in reply to chloe40]

Thank you, just finished my first day back at work. Found myself crying several times. The house is too quiet now, struggling to adjust. Have to leave here soon which will be a huge wrench because of all the good memories

[chloe40 Administrator in reply to Bigneil1]

HI Bigneil1

So sorry <3 you'll find yourself crying out of the blue for while sadly, but you have friends here, so just pop in anytime.

If you lived with your Dad then leaving the home you shared will be difficult, and you'll be coping with many changes but give yourself time to adjustment. You've spent a lot of time caring for your Dad and now it's time to care for you, looking after yourself is really important and I think being at work will offer some distraction.

You could make a memory box, I always mention this as it's not something we think about until in the early days but you you could keep little bits and pieces, cards, photos, anything that meant something to you, I keep mine under the bed and go through whenever I'm reflecting.

Take good care of yourself

Chloe <3

[Greyone]

Hi there.

Two weeks is nothing at all. Even a year may seen recent when you are learning to cope with anniversaries. Next April will be my 4th aniversay of loosing mum, Just now the immense feeling of loss are starting to ease because i am concentrating in the future.

For you and any one else it will be different. At some point you will start to let go of some physical and emotional ties. But some keepsakes you'll be abke to keep to help remind you of the good times.

After my first year i realised that she really was gone for good and that was one thing that helped me move on and concetrate more on my future. Now as I concentrate on the future can reflect on the past without so much pain.

Good luck and do stay in touch.

[kenster1 Volunteer]

hi sorry to hear of your loss god bless your dearest dad.grief doesn`t have a time limit just take each day as it comes.I helped recently care for my aunt with dementia for 4 years and although it was extremely difficult its 4 years I wouldn`t swap for anything as I got to know her and all about her life in America.we will always have some sort of pain but over time we do manage better.hopefully you have support closer to home as well as being here.

[Bigneil1]

Thank you, last 6 months I have been working from home and we got so close. He cared for me almost as much as I did for him

[sophie4]

I lost my mother. I probably understand how you may be feeling. 2 weeks is such a very short amount of time. You may still be in an emotional shock state. It takes a short while (each person is different) to integrate into your mind how you feel.

Your loss is immeasurable. It's so important to let your grief be expressed in however way you feel comfortable.

It's impossible to predict how long bereavement takes.

Take extra good care of yourself.

You have my condolences.

[Bigneil1 in reply to sophie4]

Thank you

[spykey]

Hi BigNeil1So sorry to hear about your Dad, two weeks is no time at all and going back to work so soon must be difficult! I lost my Mum in April last year and there are times on some days when something or maybe nothing brings tears to my eyes, just me missing being able to talk to her face to face or even on the phone , she was my rock and was there for me whatever, even if was guidance or a telling off I needed, Mum would always be my rock. She suffered with arthritis for many years and was in extreme pain for years!

I miss her desperately, but I don't miss hearing her wincing in pain, struggling to get comfortable!

I told her I loved her a month before she died & she pulled her hand away and told me not to be silly, but I can't remember her every saying she loved me, but I'm glad I got that in the day before 1st lockdown!

Be kind to yourself, you looked after your Dad for many years and now its time to look after you!

Please don't give yourself a hard time, but do give yourself time. Grief can come in different forms And it can hit us when we least expect it!

Working may help to distract you, but if you feel you need time out, then take it, its different for each of us! Look after yourself & take lots of care.

Hugs and Blessings 🕊🤗

Spykey

[Bigneil1]

Thank you so much, it means a lot