Lost friends and 'social distancing' - Bereavement Care ...

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Lost friends and 'social distancing'

Gambit62
Gambit62

I am writing this as the funeral for two friends is going on.

I couldn't face attending as I am finding the whole 'social distancing' thing is significantly impacting on my mental health and would rather avoid a funeral where this is being practised. I'm not saying that keeping your physical distance from other people at this time isn't the right thing to do, given that it is part of the effort to contain the spread of COVID-19 but it isn't an easy thing for people to do and unfortunately that fact is getting lost. I have seen posts on HU - not on this forum but on others - where people respond to others who are expressing the distress they are feeling as a result of the lock-down - by telling the poster that they should be focused on the greater good. I don't think this attitude actually helps anyone. It definitely lacks compassion and understanding.

I am not sure how my two friends would feel about the current situation. I can imagine a number of words that would be totally inappropriate to this forum being used. Both were characters and had played a part in supporting their communities which included out-door bowls clubs. Their deaths were not linked to COVID-19 and they weren't actually linked to each-other. Julie (not her real name) had been ill for a while with cancer and it had spread to her brain. She also had a number of other health conditions which had affected her ability to take part in out-door bowls and other social activities over the last few year. Gavin (not his real name either) had some health issues but his death came out of the blue - heart issues that seemed to have come out of nowhere. The last time I spoke to Gavin was when he was considering the arrangements for Julie's funeral. It was shortly after the date for that had been announced that Gavin was taken ill. It is difficult to believe that I will not see either of them again.

6 Replies
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kenster1
kenster1Volunteer

hi god bless your 2 dear friends gambit its such a devastating blow to lose a friend/s or a family member at any time but now its more difficult because of restrictions.i know two people who have died and I would have paid my respects in some way but I cant.i am sure you will honour their memory in some way god bless them both and take care of yourself.

chloe40
chloe40Administrator

Hi Gambit

What an awful time for you, I really am so sorry to read this.

Yes, a lot of us are suffering as a result of being isolated, it’s unnatural to live like this.

I’ll get to you later. X

Chloe

chloe40
chloe40Administrator

Hello Gambit,

I can't imagine how you are feeling about your friends loss, the rapidness of Gavin's loss is unbelievable. No time is good but at the moment, their loss is magnified.

I imagine you're feeling helpless too being isolated, so I wanted to add that this is a place to share that emotion at anytime Gambit x

Always here

Chloe x

I'm very sorry to read this, Gambit. Losing your friends is already very tough and then the social distancing takes away comfort and support.

I do understand. It is really tough.

Sending gentle hug...

Hi Gambit

Losing someone we know dying at any time during our lives can have a real impact on us in many different ways during any point in our lives and I can understand that you didn’t feel up to going to either! At this time we have an extra pressure going on in the whole of this world and it is enough looking after ourselves and keeping well physically and especially emotionally, so please don’t give yourself a hard time!

Funerals are hard at any time, whether we are well, I’ll or the Corona virus is around! You are being sensible and respectful to yourself and those attending the funerals! I’m not saying you are going to pass anything on, but you don’t know who has it and could pass it on to you & you are taking notice of the guide lines, and not putting yourself in a place of danger and your life is precious to more people than you think! The Care & Share Community Care about you and you staying at home is honouring you & your life, although I know it’s hard some days especially being on lockdown!

Keep in touch with us, let us know how you’re doing, we’ll always be here for you!

Take Lots of Care

Sending You Hugs 💓 and Blessings 🤗

Spykey

I agree your comments.

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