Lost my lovely dad

[L1974]

Hello everyone I lost my dad yesterday, he was 75. It was quite sudden he had a minor stroke on Friday but also his heart seemed to give up. We spoke over the weekend and he was determined to get well but Monday went downhill. I am so devastated I never got to see him. My mother died 27 years ago so now no parents at 47. Just looking for some comfort x

[chloe40 Administrator]

Hi L1974

Welcome to our Community.

So sorry for the loss of your dear Dad.

It’s always a shock even when we’re expecting it but I totally understand how upset you’re feeling not having seen him at the end.

I will get back to you later today.

Sending love

Chloe 💗

[chloe40 Administrator]

Hello again L1974

Your emotions are in turmoil right now and the shock is difficult for you to come to terms with.

I know you wanted to see your Dad at the end and I'm so sorry you didn't but I hope you'll have the opportunity to visit before the funeral and say your goodbyes, this is really important for you.

The coming weeks and months are going to be a roller coaster of emotions, so please take good care of yourself.

I hope you can stay in touch with us when you feel the time is right and we'll be here for you, offering support.

Chloe x

[kenster1 Volunteer]

hi welcome aboard sorry to hear about your dearest dad and your mum god bless them both.hopefully our little community can be of good added support to you.in the same boat as you sadly lost my mum in 09 and my dad in 2018 god bless and take care.

[L1974]

Thanks for your replies, feels weird at the moment emotions up and down, dad doesn’t have life insurance, he told us he did but we can’t find paperwork. The funeral bill will be with me as my sister has no money. It’s such a mess, he is in a council property and we need to clear it within a week, he was a hoarder so a lot to get through. Am so frightened to go back into his flat without him in it, only his belongings.

[kenster1 Volunteer in reply to L1974]

hi can a charity not come and take all the furniture you take some personal items maybe.the social security can help with costs but it would have to be your sister applying.hopefully you can find out his insurance details maybe contact some local ones to see.

[GoGo_JoJo]

Hi there, I'm so sorry for your loss. Yes, I completely understand. It's a strange feeling, almost one of abandonment. I lost my Dad in 2014 and my mother in 2018. I was 43 at the time. I didn't get to see either before it happened although my relationship with my mother was far from good, I was devastated to lose my Dad, he was only 56 and my mother 62. Not at all what I expected. I hope you have a good support network, friends or family.

I had to clear and sell my mother's property in a week. It's really tough. You need someone to help you.

If you can, just try to focus on the task and when the feelings come just let them roll through until afterwards 💖 good luck 🤞🏻

[L1974 in reply to GoGo_JoJo]

Feel angry today, sadly with Dad for not making better provision. Absolutely dreading going to his flat tomorrow to start sorting it, my husband thinks it should be cleared straight away so we can get house clearance in before we start being charged full rent, my sister is saying she doesn’t want it cleared until after his funeral. I want the funeral to be the final step before we can grieve and heal (hopefully).

[GoGo_JoJo in reply to L1974]

I'm on your side. Leaving it longer will only make it harder. Anger is very normal and natural I'm sorry to say.

The sooner its done, the sooner that part is over 💖

[Sandradsn]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad.I hope you manage to get started on the flat tomorrow. It will be difficult and emotional I'm sure.

We will be thinking of you,let us know how it goes.