How do I know when it’s time to try and accept things

[beck33]

Hi, I’m not sure if I am doing this to get my feelings out of for advice but thought I would give it a go.

So here goes...... I am 29 and lost my mom in December, we knew she was ill but never expected for her to pass away I was very close to my mom and found her being ill hard enough but I just don’t know where I am at the moment this is mainly because I have just had a baby. I was pregnant when my mom passed and she knew about the baby he would have been her first grandchild and she was over the moon about it telling anyone who would listen. She has wanted to be a nan for years.

I feel that now I have had the baby and all is well I can finally start to try and understand that my mom isn’t coming back and won’t be here to help me be a mom. I am scared I am bottling it all up and will one day explode, as much as my dad and husband are an amazing support they aren’t my mom. Some days I think she has just gone away and I honestly believe I will see her again and other days it feels like she has been gone for ages. I have seen a counselor in the past when my nan passed away 4 years ago (my moms mom) I am just scared I am not ready and will make me worse than I am. My baby is only 7 weeks old and I don’t want my emotions to rub off on him. Not really sure what response I am looking for just wanted to write it out and post to try and make it a bit more real.

[kenster1 Volunteer]

hi I'm sorry to hear of your loss.thoughts with you and your family.its better to talk things over the worst thing to do is bottle it up like I did with my dad who passed this easter sunday after having an accident in hospital.your mum will live in your heart and mind forever like mine is.be honest with your family of how your feeling I'm sure they are very loving and supportive.

[chloe40 Administrator]

Hi there beck33

Your post is so sad {{{hugs}}} losing your Mum is awful, such a wrench and not that long ago either. Now the baby is here, congratulations! and again it is early days since you gave birth so your hormones are still unsettled but I understand when you say your Mum won't be there to help you be a Mum and that's very sad. Re: counselling Beck, I would wait a little until you feel completely over the birth and feel stronger emotionally.

I'm not a replacement but I'm here for you whenever you need to ask or want reassurance with your worries and concerns.

Chloe xx