Why do we doing it to ourselves. Why do we convince ourselves that things will be different even though we know there is no chance of it happening. I know things are over between me and my ex and I am absolutely devastated, but I keep thinking of scenarios of her changing her mind and calling me telling me she wants to give things another go. I know this wont happen so why does my brain keep betraying me and thinking of these things.
Back to work today I could happily stay in bed an ignore the world, but I know I can't so I'm up at the crack of dawn. The mask will be back on today the mask of the guy that laughs and jokes and smiles along with everyone. Best not let them see how I'm really feeling they may think I'm a bit in the mental side.
Blogging on here helps maintain the false smile as it gives me an outlet for how I truly feel which is a good thing. Hopefully as time goes on things will get easier and I will be back to the guy that laughs and jokes and uses sarcasm way to much.
I did have a moment of actual laughter last night. While chatting on here on cookies blog. It started off about ironing and then somewhere along the line we ended talking about pants and mushrooms. I will be easier if you read it than me actually trying to explain.
Bit of a strange blog this morning, but I'm feeling strange and it's Monday which lets be honest no one likes. Here's to my mood hopefully improving through the week. Will be 30 in 8 days eek.
Hope everyone has a good week.