I was due to go on holiday 3 weeks today to Spain with my sort of on off partner but obviously have pulled out as I can't even sit on a train for 30 minutes never mind a plane for 3 hours.
Does anyone else still manage to go abroad or is it a big no no?
I get more anxious that I have packed everything and dont like leaving my dogs behind
Hiya,
I tend to holiday in the UK now, although I could do a overseas holiday now.
Take your time, be kind to yourself, get all this sorted out, then you will be able to do everything again.
It all takes time, and practice,
B
xxx
You are just too kind to me today 
lol xx
Hi Ashley27, You are not alone in this, believe me. If you search blogs from "hodylad", in a recent one, he wrote about getting anxious when going on holiday. Until I read his blog and the various responses, I thought I was the only one who felt this way when going on holiday. My anxiety peaks in the lead up to going abroad on holiday, but typically settles down on the way to airport! The hardest part is getting the bags packed, and into the car. Once on the way it's as if I am now committed to going, i.e. I can stop "dithering" about choices between staying at home (safe and boring) and "risking" (I don't know what!). The fear and dread I experience in the holiday lead up are always totally groundless, and I end up enjoying the holiday when my imagination has stopped running riot. This hits me every time I go away abroad, but I try to follow my motto of "feel the fear but do it anyway". even when it's not always the easiest thing to do. I am going through torment at present (cannot explain it!) as I am planning to go on holiday to Florida in 3 weeks time. I am practising my Mindfulness meditation to "stay present" and progressive muscle relaxation, which helps defuse the anxiety state, both of which I highly recommend. I fear that if I give in to these negative thoughts (which is all they are!) I will probably never be able to get on another plane. We have done this trip 10 times previously so I know my negative thoughts and fears are groundless. Can you identify what causes your fear of sitting on a plane for 3 hours? Are you claustrophobic?
Baylien has offered wise words indeed. Take one day at a time. get some counselling help if possible, but most importantly, stay mindful that your negative thoughts are just that - THOUGHTS, and don't let them to "bamboozle you into thinking otherwise.
Take care and good luck, Mallet-head xx
This anxiety is only new for me like the last 2-3 months. I've been away on holiday every single year single birth more or less but I've now had 2 panic attacks on the train which now I panic when I'm on because I no there is no where to go. So in my mind if I'm on a plane there is no getting off at the next stop. Plus also I worry that away for 10 days..what if I started having panic attack after panic attack and I was stuck out there. So many what ifs (which I know I shouldn't have) xx
Hi Ashley27, I understand your predicament exactly, as this is the same problem I have, as I explained in my earlier reply. It is hard to just accept the horrible feelings and scary thoughts that rush through your head I know, but if you fight them, or just give in to them, they will rule your life. By accepting these negative thoughts are present,, allowing them to be present,but not reacting to them (because you know they are just thoughts) and just" letting go", the fear and panic will subside. It may return at some time but treat it the same way, and eventually your anxiety will subside and go. All those "what-ifs" are just that, speculation on things that will never happen. You can also write down all those things you are concerned about and formulate an action plan to deal with them should they occur (which they won't) but at least you know you are prepared for it.
Hang in there, and good luck, Mallet-head
I hadn't been on 'holiday' since 2001 until last year. I have driving phobias, even being a passenger on motorways causes me severe anxiety, so it was a big deal for me. Also, I had alcohol dependancy and smoked too. I went to Dorset with my boyfriend last July and was amazed at the way I managed to cope. He hates driving so I did most of the driving while we were there, lots of wobbly moments but I did it and he trusted me. I even managed to scrabble along the 'ammonite graveyard' at Lyme Regis, a very rocky beach where you jump precariously from stone to stone. I would usually 'freak out' if I couldn't escape from a situation or place immediately but I coped, amazed I did. No reliance on the booze or fags too.
Does your partner know about your condition?
Yeah my partner does know but they aren't very sympathetic and have a kind of just stop panicking attitude as if I can control these feelings. It's caused a lot of problems with us as they think I'm never going to get over it...lovely and supported stuff there as you can see lol x
Dear Ashley, it must be very difficult for other people to understand what we're experiencing but I'm so pleased you refused to travel with someone who isn't sympathetic. My mum hasn't got a clue about my condition but she makes allowances for it because she cares for my wellbeing. My boyfriend suffered himself years ago but he got over it and although he doesn't say it I sense he sees me as weak because I'm still suffering.
Yeah my mum also told me not to go as I think she would worry I wouldn't get the support I needed. I'm upset obviously as I was really looking forward to it but I suppose it wasn't meant to be
For me, I wouldn't want to travel far from home without a trusted friend or family member being there. They would have to be someone who understands that I have frailties, they would recognise that I have a mental illness (I know some poeple don't like this label), and therefore I am vulnerable and need support. I would be afraid to be abandoned in a strange place. The flight would be bad enough, but essentially you have to trust and feel secure with the person you're with.
This is true..I would also feel I was holding my partner back as they would want to go out drinking every night and I'm just not in that frame of mind..I think the holiday means more to them than my well being.
Can't really answer the plane question as because of panic attacks i have never flown but with regards to you having your first attack on a train please, please try and do something about it now! i had my first panic on a bus and thought i was just having an off day but then standing at the bus stop for work the following day it happened again, that was when i was 17, the next time i got on a bus was in the school holidays last year - i am now 44! bit by bit over the years i felt i could do less and less - even moving house to opposite a school as i couldn't take my kids to theirs 10 minutes walk away, you can't imagine the guilt when my girls were saying bye to all their friends on their last day just because i was too scared to take them to the school they loved! In 2003 i stopped leaving the house at all on my own. If someone had sat with me that first couple of times and explained what was happening - that it was just a chemical rush of adrenaline and that it will soon wear off and not in my head i am sure i would have come to terms with it a lot quicker instead of spending years looking for cures -there isn't one, only acceptance and going with the feelings! if i were you i would get a trusted friend/family member, buy a day pass and spend all day getting on and off trains, firstly with someone for one stop then a bit further, then sending you friend 1 stop ahead to wait for you and doing it on your own, believe me you don't want to still be posting on here 27 years later like me. x Jacqui
I've basically had to get on trains anyway. I work in a city centre so there is no other way to get there. I've resorted to standing in the bike rack bit as I feel I have more space and don't get anxious there unless there are other people. I wat to just be able to sit down and forget where I am again x
My Dad died last year in October in the UK and I live in NZ. I had also lost my Mum last year,in March. I was suffering from depression and anxiety when my Dad died and really thought I wouldn't be able to get on a plane and travel back for Dad's funeral. My psychologist told me to break the whole thing down to very small steps which I did, don't look at the big picture as it's too scary. I did this, managed the 26 hour flight back to the UK.. I won't say it was the easiest of things but I did it. So I would suggest you do this for anything you have to do, I do now.. But if you don't really want to go on this holiday for other reasons, don't go. All the very best. xx
Thanks for sharing. I do want to go but I feel I'd be doing it ony to make my partner(could be ex) happy. Don't even know we're we are right now anyway. It's funny I've replaced one emotion(fear) about going with (guilt) for not going. X
I think what scares me the most is in the back of my mind it keeps saying that ill never fly again. I love being abroad. X
Hi Ashley27, I am curious as to whether you have been abroad since you posted this post? I am going through similar emotions at the moment 
xx
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