When it's bad it's bad, when it's good it's still kind of bad.

[bumblebee01]

The one thing I find to be so stressful is that even on good days, when everything's just dandy, or perhaps when I've had a really "anxious" kind of day and then it passes, i still sweat profusely even when freezing cold.

This afternoon, I have had a bad turn, the first in quite a long time. I feel like I'm high, my vision is warped my arms have pins and needles and my heartbeat increases rapidly out of nowhere every now and then.

But for the most part, I don't feel so bad, but I am freezing cold and still sweating. My hands are clammy and my shirt is soaking wet.

I think it's these little things that increase a mild anxiety day, the constant reminder that you are not 100%;

It just makes me feel a bit pathetic, complaning about such ridiculous things.

PS

I am trying to be as open as possible in all of my posts, which coincidently is making me sound incredibly attention seeking, which I really do not intend to sound!

I think we all share a feeling, the loathing of being pitied when people say "you just need to chill out" so I hope i'm getting across my true intentions which is put as much out there as I can incase anyone feels things and thinks they are alone. Which they most certainly are not.

Thanks for reading..

[Hidden]

No, thank you for posting. It's not pathetic to share how we are feeling. I thinks it's good for the soul. I used to be a confident person and I grieve for who I used to be. I also have a firm belief that I will get better but I have taken a trip down the rocky road to doolally and am quite happy to stay here for a while. I think my soul has told my mind to have a break so I packed my mental baggage and came here to loonsville lol xxxx a problem aired is a problem shared and there are lovely people on here. Every now and then pond life will surface but take no notice, they are dealt with.

P.s when I say loonsville I mean a place in my mind and not this site lol don't want anyone reading it wrong and taking offence xxx C.P

[bumblebee01]

I thoroughly agree that we will all be better one day. My only fear is that there will always be scars, albeit little ones..I sort of wish it would one day completely vanish but I fear that it will always play small part in our identity.

Thanks for the warm welcome CP. And i think if we can't laugh at ourselves and comfortably use the word loony then it could be so much worse!

[hamble99b]

welcome bumblebee, here you will find people who care, who understand. somewhere to share your thoughts and feelings.

regards,

sandra.

[bumblebee01]

Thanks sandra. I really hope so.

[bonkerswoman]

Hello Bumblie, I have taken some time over it, but am a lot better these days. Yes, a little scar may always be there, but it serves to remind you of the betterness of now. Don't waste time wondering about what happens on the other side of this bad period, just know that it will be better. Honest! x

ps. I know there's no such word as 'betterness' but there is now.

[bumblebee01]

Hi BW. You're right I strive to believe the other side will be better. On bad days you cant help but wonder if youre just being stupid and this is who you are now...a quivering nervous wreck.

I like the new word betterness.