I wanted to share something that I realised today.
As i was running in the park I set myself a target of a certain distance to run to. As i was running towards my target i realised that maybe the limits or targets that i set myself have in the past been targets or limits that other people have set for me and that they have not been the targets that i have set for myself. Perhaps I have been pushing myself a bit too hard.
I am now trying to figure out who the 'other people' are that i write about. Sibling rivalry comes to mind a bit. I now know that i need to set my own target, targets that i am comfortable with and that i can achieve. It might mean starting of with low targets, however I can build on them.
Does anyone recognise this?
warmest regards,
Marcus
Written by
marcusvanbreugel
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7 Replies
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Hi Marcus
Have been thinking about you hun , glad you are OK
You are exactly right , & well done for realising this , signs of how much better you are getting
Yes spent half my life trying to live by what I thought were other people's targets or expectations of me ......and you are right , we are individuals , so what we can acheive is what we can do & we dont have to match anyone else , as long as we have done our best that is all we have to do
Keep your attitude , & go at your own pace , whats right for Marcus & no one else
Hi,set your own targets,achieve them in your own way and your mind will be in a great place,you are the only one that matters,this is your own personal crusade,go to it!
Hi Marcus, I completely agree, trying to live up to other peoples everreaching expectations is exhausting and really destorys your sense of self worth. I remember my old school reports always telling me i 'wasnt reaching my potential', its the least motivating thing somsone can say when they are not offering you any encouragement or support. Ive also realised recently that i have to control my targets at the moment, as miniscule as they may be. If i get to work on time, or meet someone to do a class at the gym, or manage to get to sleep without crying for hours those are achivements for me! They may not be for a 'normal' person, but they are massive steps in the right direction. I have alot of big decisions to make about where my life is going, but now is not the time to make them, for now i just exist and work on trying to get some emotional strength back, thats hard enough work as it is but im proud of the 'pathetic' progress ive made because only i know how im getting on, and if im ok. Its so much easier to get a sense of achivement when your taking small steps, and your far less likely to fall behind, some risks are not worth taking.
I can't believe you're running, oof, not my cup of tea, wish it was! That alone is something to be proud of Maruc. Exercise can be so good for your physical and mental health, really pumps the energy back into you. Be proud of the progress you're making, no matter how small it is or how long its taking x
It reads like you went through a tough time at school. If i could make a suggestion, since your story also shows realisation and self awareness, so well done. You write 'pathetic' progress. Perhaps or maybe you could find a different word for 'pathetic', since pathetic implies very small and perhaps something negative aswell, or no word in front of progress at all.
I had a kind of similar school experience. My teacher told my parents that I was stupid, as in unintelligent or dum. Councelling has been very helpfull to start to get in contact or reach the emotions from that time and one day start the healing process.
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