Hey everyone, im new here and new to this blogging thing!
I am 21 years old and I have been suffering from anxiety since the age of 13, trichotillomania since 15 and as a result of the two I have low confidence/self esteem and I can sometimes feel quite low (although not clinical depression).
I dont receive much support dealing with this from my family and so I only went to the doctors about it all last July. I don't go anymore because they would only offer "self help techniques" (which was a load of rubbish to be quite honest!!) or medication which I really don't want so i deal with it on my own. The only person I talk to about it all is my husband, he is an excellent source of support, however I still feel myself holding back...I don't want to burden him and sometimes I feel he worries so much for me that he treats me differently. That's why I've decided to come here and blog instead!! Because I know sometimes I do better for getting it all off of my chest.
I'm sure you'll all know what I mean when I say I have some good days and some bad. Some days I get through no panics, others its all I seem to do. The trich is the hardest, it's near impossible to hide and I don't want to ruin my hair, I don't want to do it, I don't even know why I do!! I think I'm going to try putting a mark on the calendar when(/if) I have a pull free day, positive reinforcement and all that jazz. I have a stress ball too, that helps hugely, keeps my hands busy, I can't take it everywhere though!
Tomorrow I have my first lecture at university (on a Saturday too!!), law degree, really nervous! I hate that "introduce yourself" bit in front of everybody...I never know what to say!! Worried I'll be over dressed, over prepared. I've got a new suit, my laptop, what if nobody else takes a laptop? Or they all dress casual because I know it's law so you should suit up but maybe not just for the uni bit? I don't know I never did well socially at school, dreading going back into it!! Thinking more long term too, what if I fail, or simply just don't enjoy it anymore?!
I know, I know, I'm going on and on a bit now and should get some sleep before tomorrow, my husband keeps telling me it's a "big day!", but I'm more scared than excited!!
Well, so that's a bit about me (no doubt you'll get to know more over time!), my conditions, my future plans...now you know what you're getting yourself in for if you choose to keep up with my blog =P!! Run, run while you can hahaha!!
Good night everybody x