Back in Oct 2011 i started a new job. I had to attend a doctors appointment about something unrelated to this question but it came apparent that i was also suffering from anxiety. The doctor wanted to sign me off for a week but i said that after been in the job 2 weeks and knowing the grief i would get i decided against it.
The job is still not great and i am in the process of finding a new job...
Im still suffering with anxiety but im not sure if i should go to the doctors or not and what if they sign me off? What will i say? Ill be called in to work for a meeting to discuss why i was off and that will make things worse?
The thought of it is enough to make me sick
EIDIRB !
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EIDIRB
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Hi Love, I can't believe you have put up with this anxiety for 15 months after being diagnosed! Look lovie, you do need to go to the Doctors and if he signs you off work it is because you need it. The thought of what people have to do these days when they are ill just makes me feel sick as well! All you can do is get yourself better or you will be no good to work and they won't like that!. Just tell them the truth love, I suspect they may already know you suffer from anxiety so it won't be a big shock. They may even help you, and so they should too. I would tell the Doctor what you have told us too and how worried you are,
Ella, thanks for responding! I know iv suffered on and off since been a teenager (now 21) but since starting this job (the job i worked at previously was a job i loved but they wouldnt support my Accountancy degree so left) iv started getting more frequent bursts of anxiety and it all kicks off when the boss goes off on one - i was told off yesterday for opening and closing a file too often - its little things like that then dont make me want to come to work for a few days after.
What if they do sign me off? Surly returning to work will be even harder? I can quite imagine they wont understand - they are the type (2 directors and 3 employees) of company that would think im some fruit loop after attention and this really isnt the case!
The thought of returning to work to attend a meeting makes me think about putting up with it and staying quiet but i know thats not the right thing to do!
Im a bright ambitious 21 year old and have just got a mortgage and have lots of life plans and i dont want this to get in my way as i get older....
Sounds to me Eidirb as if the boss has serious issues not you He maybe needs a whipping boy....well he is not allowed such luxuries. This is something that comes up time and time again ...stigma...and it's really not on is it. Maybe you could get the Doctor to put you on the sick citing another reason and you speed up getting a new job. It would be worth asking for referral to CBT which will give you more confidence and assertiveness in dealing with this Dickensian boss oops nearly said a rude word then ! x Ella x
I know this may sound like im jumping the gun but as its on my mind i have put together an email to my boss if i have to tell him iv been signed off work....what do you think??
I understand you will want to discuss this with me but the thought of the confrontation and the lack of understanding makes my anxiety worse so i thought i would put into words my thoughts and feelings. I dont expect you to understand as i dont understand myself i just know that feeling like this has worn me down and that i cant put up feeling like this anymore.
I have begun to understand the signs of anxiety that have played a part throughout my life, the moments of feeling like i dont belong even in my own childhood home. The shaking of my legs in situations that i find uncomfortable to witness and most recently the overwhelming feeling of sickness and emotions.
The things that have triggered this recently have been work related - the thought of been in trouble. Something as little as been annoyed at me for opening and closing a file too many times - i know this sounds so simple and pathetic but this is the journey im taking to try and stop such simple life occurances giving me this feeling for the next few weeks.
Although this may have been small for everyone involved for me this filled me with a wealth of emotion, fear and sickness and i spent the next few days feeling this way. It was only as i read blogs online that made me realise this wasnt something that would just go away on its own and led me to book a doctors appointment.
The thought of been judged for having this mental health issue fills me with dread, once been on the judging end, i was so wrong.
The recent diagnosis isnt a shock, i was told i was suffering from anxiety at the end of 2011 and was told i needed to be signed off work but i put on a brave face and faced 2 weeks of fear, sickness and emotion but its not easy to get my head round this. Im 21 i have lots of personal and career ambitions, what i want in life is black and white, the road i want to take is a straight line with no twists and turns, no obsticles that can get in my way but the recent diagnosis is a big obsticle in me enjoying this journey.
As i say.. i dont expect to be understood i just ask that you take this email as an insite into how im feeling.
I plan to take this time off to get used to the diagnosis, think about where i go from here and give you chance to discuss this internally.
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oops nearly said a rude word then ! x Ella x
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