Trivial, but - Scared of a meltdown! :(

Hi - I know this is minor compared to what a lot of peoople are going through but - I had a really stressful couple of weeks lately - nothing really major, just "one thing after another" going wrong :( - now I've got the workmen in fitting a new bathroom. Now, i wanted a new bathroom, had to beg for it - I live in Housing Assoc property - so i REALLY shouldn't complain (since when did that stop me?) - but it's stressing me out. I can't blame the workman/men - they are great - they're not actually in my way - well, apart from the fact that, apart from a downstairs loo and tiny handbasin, i have NO washing facilities atm :( BUT I HATE workmen in the house - i know this is more to do with me than them, although, living in HA accommodation, I've had more than my fair share of problesm in the past. But when workers are in the house, I become virtually paralysed - there's lots of other things i could be doing, but i can't! :( I can't honestly say they're interfering with my "Christmas preparations" - cos i live alone, so don't really make any! ;)

But the other night, I was SO tense I thought I'd jump out of my skin; I ached in every bone/muscle in my body - so much so I googled fybromyalgia in case i had that - when it was just tension :( I'm taking more diazepam than I should (though to be honest I'm not worrying tooo much about that atm - I mean, Im not overdosing!) The other night (felt a bit of an idiot at 60+!) but ended up lying on the sofa late at night, watchng brain-dead tv, and stroking a little stuffed toy a friend had given me (long story) It actually worked, i drifted off and felt better, but really scaring myself :( I did try (silly me!) to tell my sister i wasn't looking forward to the work being done, and she (Pollyanna II!) just said Still, it will be great when it's done, wo't it? For once, I did manage to come back at her and say Yes it will, but I don't know anyone who LIKES workmen in the house! :(

The joke is I'd just ordered myself a relaxation CD from an NHS source, but feel a twit playing that with someone banging and drilling above my head! Just really scared I'll lose the plot completely - think my GP (my old GP who was great has retired) has written me off as an irredeemable neurotic anyway!

Sorry maybe should have done this as a blog, but if anyone's got any words of wisdom/comfort, I sure need them now!

Love

Stressed Rose

xxxxxx

10 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Yes, sometimes when anxious we prefer our own company...but the work has started, and you WILL probably smile when you see your new bathroom complete, so we are now in an enevitable position so you must choose to worry or accept...I know this sounds harsh... but it is being done as we speak and with every hour it is nearer completion (in fact every minute). try to have a chat with them (they probably won,t bite) go round to the shop and get a packet of biscuits and make them a cup of tea, you might make friends OR sit and do nothing...it is up to you.....but whatever you do my thoughts are with you on your journey......IT is already happening so the decisions are made...just accept and before you know it....it will have passed.....xxxxxx happy new bathroom-wish it was me ha ha...x

  • Hi. Rose. When I was going through the 'mill' I used to jump out of my skin at the slightest sound. I think this is because our nerves are so raw. Sitting watching TV was like a death sentence and going to the 'pictures', as we used to call them, was impossible. (Still don't go as I regard most of it as a load of old rubbish, but that's another story). Having ANYONE in the house was also a nightmare, even well intentioned friends. The telephone was another bug! So you are from odd in going through what you are the moment. Come on Rose, you KNOW you will come out OK and be back giving helpful advice to us all. Lots of Love. jonathan.

  • Thanks, Jonathan - please keep telling me i will come out the other side, because tbh at the moment my real fear is I won't! :'(

    Love Rose xxx

    Strange, when I'm stressed-to-blazes, tv is about the only thing that keeps me sane - well, and diazepam and cigarettes and ....... ;) xxx

  • At the bottom of the hole there is this great big spring that throws you back up again. The falling bit is the worse part but then you hit the spring and He! up we go. Keep at it Rose you WILL win.. Love. jonathan.

  • Hi Rose, been there done that and it's no joke! I had a new bathroom put in 2 years ago BUT it was in the summer!!! I got through it! still here...just! You have just cracked me up with the stuffed toy bit but it's perfectly ok to do that! could be worse lol. Don't be scared love, it's a big upheaval, especially when you are not used to lots of people in and out of your home. I know you are not very good in a morning and must be suffering with your IBS too! It disturbs your world my love and that is NOT good for you. We like our own routine when we live alone and anything other is not acceptable. When they did mine my face was aching from false smiling , my kettle always hot for cups of tea and staircase packed as they all met here for lunch! I just stayed in my living room as much as possible , out the way...but found them very respectful of my privacy. There was NO mess as I was expecting and it is lovely now...almost luxurious :/ dare I add. Oh sweetheart, I do feel for you and no, don't worry about the diazepam...you know what you are doing. Just keep warm, fed and watered and sit it out. Shame you can't come here during the day, you would be more than welcome :D . I know this might sound funny lol but if you wrap a blanket or shawl around yourself it DOES help with the aches and pains of tension as it sort of holds you together and gives comfort. Try it darling and include that soft toy if you need to as well! It doesn't matter Love and Hugs x Ella X

  • Bless you all!!! :) Just had a fairly long kip on the sofa - daytime tv does have it's uses lol! - and feel better :) Jonathan, love your idea of a spring at the bottom of the hole that shoots us back up - might need that - sure it's name isn't Jonathan? ;)

    Ella, glad I gave you a laugh at stroking a stuffed toy, but i just thought - stroking a pet is good for stress, so it's the same sort of thing! No, I'm NOT good in the mornings - understatement of the century - and I was banged out of bed at 8.20 this morning :( which wasn't fun, so a long kip on the sofa helped a lot :)

    Funny, i always used to make tea/coffee for the workmen, but nowadays they never seem to want/accept it - don't know whether the HA insist they bring their own, suspect they might, so I just let them get on with it :)

    Thank you all so much, you're all so generous with your love and support!

    Love

    (Brighter) Rose

    xxxxxxx

  • I myself have suffered with GAD and can almost say that I am recovered apart from the odd setback.

    I have been through some seriously tough times and can relate to a lot of these stories which is why I would love to offer some reassurance.

    I also would hate anybody coming in to my 'comfort zone' things like friends coming round or workmen visiting would be a huge convenience and I would try and convince myself that I didnt want them there or It was getting in the way of my 'really un busy schedule' when infact it was a case of control.

    I feel that a huge aspect of GAD is control and in the circumstance you feel like your control is being taken away by somebody. For example, if the builders are there you 'have' to stay , if your friends are there 'you cant leave'

    I personally feel it is about taking this control back. My councilor helped me with how I looked at these situations and I realised how much power I was giving other people. 'without their knowing of course'. This really helped me.

    Another example is the hair dresser, again being under somebody elses control andd not being able to leave.

    Sitting in a passenger seat of a car, sitting at a restaurant where it would be questioned if you leave.

    I know this is no answer to your question but I hope this makes you maybe think about how much actually in this circumstance we are handing the control and power to other people.

    I hope this helps.

    Any feedback would be great :)

  • Briar rose, big hugs to a lovely person.

    Bless ya for the way you are feeling. Blimey its bad enough having workmen in your house when you are not suffering from anxiety.

    Focus on how lovely it is going to be when you get a new bathroom. You may discard the soft toy and go round stroking you're new tap fittings. Would get worried if it was the toilet seat.

    Big hugs and love.

    Lou. xxxxx

  • hi ya rose,

    you are not on your own here rose, i cant stand anyone in my home, even family at the moment, which is causing a get deal of problems at this time of the year, just told my brother not to bother coming, though its two years since he last saw me, and i just think if it causes me anxiety at the moment then dont bother, he doesnt even ring all year, and then feels like he needs to do the right thing at xmas, dont bother. just think it will be finished before xmas and your be able to get a couple of candles and lay back in a nice hot bath. you will get through this rose, its a constant worry that we will slip back, but like jonathan says if we slip back we will just keep coming back, just to annoy the bloody anxiety, you thought you could get the better of us mr anxiety well not today, oh and im not visiting while you only have one loo, you know why, private joke rose, dont worry no one will know i can keep a secret, just cant keep me bowls in check, come on rose you can see that you are loved by just about every one here, my thoughts are with you VV x

  • Hi Rose,

    How are you feeling? I'm guessing the workmen don't work on Saturdays (well you're extremely privledged if they do but I know you wouldn't feel that) so hopefully you're having a nice relaxing weekend to yourself.

    I understand what you're going through though. I grew up with a mother who did not and does not suffer from anxiety - she just cannot have people in the house. Having any work done is a huge trauma and she'll put with things not working for months rather than have someone in. It is Pollyanna-ish so say focus on the lovely new bathroom but that doesn't make it any the less true. At the end of this there's a lovely new bathroom!!!!

    Hope you're ok.

    Lots of love.x

You may also like...