I really feel like giving up

[lisabunny44]

My Anxiety has been bad today.... It started this morning waking up with blurred vision in my left eye i totally freaked out and im really embarrassed to say this but the same old fears have surfaced again and i now think im going blind or have a brain tumour.. I cant believe after all my hard work ive fallen back into this... here we go again!!! Lisa x

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Hi. lisa. Why on earth are you embarrassed? What you are going through is not a cause for embarrassment. This is a SETBACK pure and simple. We all have them and they do pass but can be hell when there. Health anxiety can be right swine because our imagination is so fertile. I know you have seen your GP but reassurance is a great help and perhaps you should go again. Not that for one moment do I think anything is wrong. The symptoms you describe are so typical. When you were well and had something in your eye did you panic? Why not? Because you were not sensitised then and your imagination was not working overtime. I hope Penny comes on and gives her advice on breathing exercises. This, coupled with ACCEPTANCE can be very helpful. Try and calm down and see this for what it is. The good old "IT" having a go at you again.Don't give up or even think about it. "IT" cannot be allowed to win. If it does we are all for the chop!!! Love and blessings. jonathan.

Over to you Penny.

[hollow]

Not easy is it. It's two steps forward and seven backwards with anxiety. Oddly I had a bleary left eye the other day, think it's the season for them? I try to stop looking at things in a positive or negative way these days it's just 'how it is'. One day I'll wake up and it won't be there of that I'm sure but I'm not counting the days, I'm not giving myself a month, a year, two years it will just happen and until then I'll live with the fear, the pains, the panic, the dark thoughts. If I think too much I end up mentally punishing myself and back to square one. I used to revel in having a 'good day' I've stopped that because it makes the 'bad days' worse than they actually are and before this anxiety took over I had hundreds of good days that I didn't notice or stop and think about. I know this probably sounds negative but for me it's not, it's about accepting what is and getting on with it so my mind can get back to that default setting of not panicking and sending waves of adrenaline through my body making me feel so bloody ill or playing tricks with my eyes, heart etc. I hope you see the point I'm trying to make.

Anxiety isn't a monster to be fought it's a physiological response to seen/unseen stimuli, maybe hard work and fighting it just makes it worse for us.

[lisabunny44]

Hi jonathan....I hate these set backs but i realise they are all part of recovery and i have to keep reminding myself that this is not going to go over night .. I think my medication(citalopram) may cause the blurred vision as ive just upped my dose a week ago, i did tell my GP about it and she said its all normal.I feel embarrassed because i should of just thought of that in the first place instead of thinking the worse.....Thanks for the wonderful advice Lisa x

[lisabunny44]

Hi hollow.....your right anxiety is a monster and sometimes i have it under control then bang its comes back stronger... The adrenalin rush is horrendous i used to fight it and the more i did the worse it got untill johnathan to me not to fight it and learn to accept it...luckily i found this site and we are all in this together.... Lisa x

[Pennylayne]

Hi Lisa .........I was just looking at the list of side effects and blurred vision is there ......Nausea, dry mouth, tiredness, drowsiness, sweating, blurred vision, and yawning may occur.

They are a nuisance but not a sign of anything wrong and as you get used to the increased dose it will wear off though it may take a few weeks.

Just a thought ......taking a magnesium supplement can be helpful if you are taking anti-depressants and may help with the side effects. I find it helpful.

As Jonathan said try the breathing that I mentioned in other posts if you feel panicky or feel the adrenaline building ........you can't panic if your breathing is under control so keep practicing the slow steady breathing and making each out breath last for a count 5 and then pausing before a slow steady in breath.

Just another thing remember that the thoughts that pop up in your head are just thoughts, you can let them slip away like leaves going down a stream, tell yourself you are not that interested in the anxious thoughts, they are not you, you are separate to the thoughts that pop up in your head.

Do your breathing and let them carry on and pass by and they will ......they will disappear and with practice you will get quite good at letting them go.

[lisabunny44]

Hi All..... Thankyou so much for all your advice.... I really dont know what i would do without you..Much love Lisa x x