Work is stressing me out, and being at home makes me worry! I'm stuck :(

[JB2156]

I work in a nursery with babies aged 3 months- 18 months, I used to love my job so much and would miss the children when on summer holidays. However the past couple of months I dread going to work, I work long hours and the journey is an hour each way. The mood of the babies rub off on me so when they cry I just want to sit in the corner and cry. My Dr said that if it becomes too much that he can sign me off, but being at home makes me worry so much, to the point that I'm constantly ringing my mum at work. I keep taking it all out on my boyfriend of 4 years, and he doesn't deserve it! I feel so trapped and I don't know how to get out.

[fadedlizard]

Oh dear, JB2156, this all sounds very familier. I cannot offer you any real guidence but I can reassure you you're not alone.

My job, although not the same has simular emotional pressures and I have had simular feelings to the ones you describe. Like you I find being at home is intolerable so i have had to make some adaptions to my role at work. Are you in a position to do this? Are you employers aware of how you are suffering? (Mine aren't but my role allows me to make minor adjustments and to delegate some tasks on the days I can't cope and my colleagues are very understanding.) Would it be possible to work in a different room for a while? Would that help, older children will bring different pressures? Has anything happened in the last 2 months which may have triggered these strong feelings? Sometimes it can be seemingly trivial events but their emotional fallout can be huge. If you feel strong enough try to trace it back and imagine what adaptions could be made to your role to help you.

I don't know if any of this has helped as I'm probably repeating things you have thought yourself. But please do not feel alone.x

[Hidden]

Hi. JB. As fadedlizard says, you are certainly not alone. I know you love your job but the way you describe it, the journey and the long hours would take their toll. You have become sensitised. Working with young children, especially babies, is very demanding. You have to be 'giving' all the time and this can be exhausting. Are you looking after YOURSELF? Giving to others is all very well but you need time to do your own thing. Taking it out on those close to you is something that we all do or have done. If they understand how we feel then we are truly blessed. You cry because you have become empathetic to the babies. You 'feel' for them. Would you rather be cold and lacking empathy? I am sure you wouldn't. Have time off; put your feet up; get a bottle of wine (not with tabs though!!) and try and relax and do not feel guilty about it. Love and best wishes. jonathan.