I'm new to this so please bare with me
About a year ago, I changed jobs - I quickly realized the grass wasn't greener on the other side. I started having panic attacks in my new job because I wasn't happy there and missed my old job.
I literally would walk in and have a full on panic attack - it happened a few times and I went home. I did hypnosis for it which helped a little and worked on finding another job. I changed jobs again in July last year. The panic attacks were gone but the anxiety stayed. I remember feeling very anxious my first day which is so not me, I'm usually pretty good about change and new situations. The anxiety was on and off, it would come and go.
In November, I broke up my 3 year relationship - and my ex didn't take well and would txt me or call all the time. Every time that would happen, Id cry and feel horrible and guilty about it even though that's what I wanted and I was happy about my decision.
And the anxiety was on and off...heart speeds, head is foggy, like im out of it, I wanna cry, nausea etc...
in March 2014 I lost my job...I was happy I did because my boss was a bitch...and I found a new job very quickly. The thing is, this new job is working from home and im not sure I love that...yes, I love the flexibility and in the days that I feel like shit I can just lay around and do work sporadically BUT I think I do miss the social part of it and also the security...this new job does NOT offer benefits AT ALL...and I'm struggling with that. This sense of feeling insecure about not having insurance etc really does bother me!
To top it off - I started a new relationship 5 months ago and just broke up with him. I wasn't completely feeling because he wasn't financial secure and that makes me anxious too. He's a great guy and I even feel bad for saying this but that's the truth and I don't need any additional stress in my life right now.
Just like my ex, he hasn't let me off...he keeps txt and wanting to meet etc...I slipped last week and met him and we ended up making out and stuff and I have to say, that day/night I was feeling very anxious, foggy, out of it but when I hung out with him it did make me feel better. Not sure why but I don't wanna assimilate him to my anxiety going away bc that's not entirely the case either.
Anyways - I guess the job situation ( I haven't found my "home" again ) coupled with the bf drama has brought back anxiety in full speed. I haven't had the panic attacks, thank God BUT the anxiety is here full on to the point where I was having dinner with a friend last week and I started feeling super hot and started sweating and my head was very foggy, all anxiety symptoms and so NOT me, I love going to dinners!
So, basically I've been having a classic GAD - foggy head, feel out of it, wanna cry, I cry almost every day, nausea, dizziness, headache for a week ( it has now stopped, I was starting to think I had a brain tumor! ), diarrhea ( had once yesterday, gross ), heart a little speedy, not crazy like when you're in a panic attack but close to it...and a numb left toe - yes I know, this one is crazy!
I went to my doc when all that started and we ran some blood work and I did have a brain MRI 5 months ago...I also asked him about MS and he dismissed...of course when im feeling this way i become highly hypocondriac...Good news is my blood work came back today and its all normal. He did say I was having anxiety and asked if I wanted meds, I said no. I don't wanna go on meds unless I absolutely have to!
I like hypnotherapy and that has worked for me, somewhat - I have an amazing gal in Germany and if this keeps up, I might just have to jump on a plane and go see her. I really cant live like this, wtf!
So, my question is to all of you guys on here is: will this fogginess stop? My head feels heavy, in a fog, its hard to concentrate etc. I hate it!
I'm doing everything I can - trying to eat healthy, doing yoga ( both Kundalini and hot yoga ) twice a day, trying to think positive thoughts altho that's hard sometimes when you feel like this etc.
I just wanna feel normal, again
I think I also need to let go the fantasy of my old job - instead of focusing on the reasons why I left, I focus on the reasons why I shouldn't have left...and I cant go back there because I left in a really bad way, I quit over email, I know HORRIBLE, lesson learned. I'm very regretful over that and as much as its been over a year I think about that place every day...it wasn't perfect and a lot of things bothered me but at the end of the day, that's what I knew and I was comfortable there...maybe a little burned out but comfortable...
Please let me know your thoughts on the foggy brain etc - and sorry for this being so long...and I'm glad I found this site xo