How much longer!!!

[jadababe21]

Hi all, I have been living with depression and anxiety for 10 years now, just in the past 2 years I became agoraphobic too. These last few months have been the hardest yet as I lost my mum in April, she was my rock, my world , my everything. I have been having the thoughts if joining her on the other side but know in my heart that's not wot I want. My mental state is deteriorating by the day, the only thing I get from my gp is upping my meds, no thanku!!! I just need someone to understand the thoughts and feelings. Plz help x

[ellabella]

I can be here to listen and offer support. I'm usually on here every day and would be glad to help if I can. I'm no expert and I'm sure plenty of people will offer help too. Please just carry on blogging and someone will be along shortly to offer the best advice : ) Thank god you found this site....you are in a safe place with like minded people who will be good to you. Hold on Jadababe, you are not alone xxxxxxx

[Hidden]

Right. You are definitely NOT ALONE. There are many here who can help and will. 'Snap out of it' is NOT in our vocabulary, so do not worry. The shock of your mum passing away has sensitised you and anxiety is usually followed by depression. I very much doubt if your mental state is deteriorating day by day. You have written a perfectly clear and legible post. We all grieve in our own way and no one is the same. To want be with your mum is a very natural feeling and do not regard it as something abnormal. It is not.

And please don't knock the meds. They can help you over a style in the short term. You WILL come off them and you WILL feel better but, please, give it time! Agoraphobia can be a nightmare but it is treatable. Can you read much? I will suggest a book written by a doctor who specialised in agoraphobia. "Essential help for your Nerves" by Dr. Claire Weekes. Around £10 from Amazon. You will find she understands. You will get other replies. Listen to them; most have been where you are now. Again, you are not alone.Have you sought any bereavement counselling? Can be very good if you find the right one. Please come back and let us know how you are. Blessings. jonathan.

[rouri]

Hello jadababe, you are in this state cause you are a very sensitive compassionate person, you are strong and are able to fight this monster, you wouldn't be on this site if this is not the case.

it will take some time and we are all here on the same route trying to get over something and understand what is happening to us, along the route you will get some obstacles but you will get over them. Allow yourself to grief for your mum, and work on yourself to get over this.

you can see from blogs in here that people are suffering from anxiety and depression and agoraphobia and PTSD, with some help in here and encouragement they are making small steps and it is working, read some and take some inspiration, you owe to yourself to try.

if you don't have any friends we can be your friends in here, we can be your rocks now, we always try to give the right advice and everyone care, we know what you are going through.

is there something you do? something you like? the most important thing is to distract yourself from thinking unpleasant thoughts, a hobby?

we are here to help love and we feel for you

love

rouri xx

[hollow]

Hi, just to reiterate the above and reassure you, you are not alone here, reaching out is the first step to recovery. Have you spoken to your GP about any psychological therapies? GP's by nature of being medics will always follow the medical model it doesn't make them poor GP's but they do need reminding that there are other approaches to healing.

At anytime if you feel the need to talk to someone don't forget the Samaritans are available 24/7 365 days a year. 08457 90 90 90

[jadababe21]

Omg, u don't know how much ur replies mean to me, to each and everyone of u, I thanku and will follow some of ur advice. It's strange but I don't feel so isolated today, just by reading these comments. Thanku xxx

[clairep]

Hello Jadababe21 you are never alone we are like one big family on here and we are all on this journey together.I suffer with panic disorder,agarophobia and severe anxiety and its not nice but like Jonathan says purchase dr claire weekes book its very good.There is a way out of all the suffering just guna take time but we will get there and so will u .Im right here with you.Lots of love

claire xx

[thunderacer]

I think this site is excellent, all the years suffering with depression it has felt lonley and isolating because of prejudices and embarrassment we don't talk about mental illness even in psychiatric hospitals it is hard to talk openly to other patients, maybe because we are all to busy asking ourselves questions! But this site always has somebody with a similar experience to our own willing to answer a question based on experience and you start to realize that you are not alone and it affects more people than you realize!

To Hollow, I agree that doctors / psychiatrists always go with medication first, this is where money and politics come in. Eg. I know ECT stops my depression, the last time in 3 weeks but when I call the crisis team they put me on extra meds as I am on the max dose of venlafaxine for an outpatient this is normaly something like lithium, never works, in fact makes me worse but always give me them for at least a month to tick all the boxes, would be laughable if it wasn't my head f.#.#ed up at the time!

[Hidden]

Hi. thunder. Fed up! Who wouldn't be. You are here now among friends; people who understand so stay with us especially when you feel down. Someone will talk to you here.

A lot of us are up half the night anyway!!!. Best wishes. jonathan.

[Pickle165]

hi jadababe21, i have suffered since school with depression and im 31 now, like you the last two years have been the worst and i too have developed agoraphobia. im so sorry about your mum, i too feel like my mum is my rock and cant imagine what you have been through. are you close to any other family? you must go back to your gp and dont take no for an anwser, you want more help and dont want to increase your meds anymore. they should refer you to your local mental health team. thinking of you. x

[jadababe21]

Hi guys, decided to tell my sisters how I was feeling, they put their arms around me and we cried together. But just telling them felt like a release, I just wish the bad horrible thoughts would give me a break, feeling a little bit stronger this morning, thanku all so much for ur kind words and making me feel I'm not alone x