I have been of work 7 weeks now after I came to the point where I was so anxious that I could not face work or fuction properly. I have a managers role and have had for over 12 years and have had acute problems with anxiety and depression for at least the last 3 years but up until now have only had a few days absence from work due to this. I have finally worked out that I have a social anxiety disorder and most probably have had this since my mid teens. I know now that I have been using loads of strategies to get threw, including a lot of years where I drank heavy. I have constant negative thoughts that come from nowhere. I am majorly self conscious/critical and as a result have very low self esteem/confidence and my world has shrunk to nothing and I am depressed - the depression that comes with no feelings and difficulty getting motivated to do normal activities. I was on Trazodon for months and am now on Mirtazaprine (stepped up from 15 to 45Mg over the last 2 months) and 25mg Chlopromazine and feeling no better. although I get 6 hours sleep but feel like I can sleep all day. I need something to lift my mood to give me a chance of fighting this condition. I am extremely worried that I will not be able to return to work soon as I will loose everything, the house and my wife (who is physically unwell herself)the lot as I need to work. It frightens me that now having an understanding of the cause of my anxiety & depression is only making me feel worse. I believe that my anxiety worsened over the last few years as I had to engage regularly with 40-50 customers and a growing staff and my social anxiety just got worse and worse to the point that I become withdrawn as a manager and only communicated with staff situated next door, by emails and minimised or rushed any interaction I had with them. I constantly feel judged by everyone around me and this feeling normally triggers panic in me. I have tried some of the DIY CBT and attended group CBT sessions - info only, but my mind races and always talks me out of any progress I feel I make. I just want a chance to recover but feel this may be a long road and I may not be able to function in my job role. Has anybody out there been in or in the same situation and have come across a helpful strategy or therapy that had effective results reducing anxiety - especially the mad like ANTs that constantly plague me and how to deal with work. Any advice much appreciated.
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