Does anyone else find social situations draining?

[sizzet]

Hi all, 1st time here ... been diagnosed with anxiety and health anxiety and have suffered with depression one and off for probably 6 years now.

I just wanted to ask does anyone else here feel mentally and physically drained from social activities? I find it very hard to sustain friendships as talking to people feels very taxing.

I can be social and find it relatively easy to talk to people but just dont want to as it really drains me.

My wife understand more now but always said I am anti social

[Dolphin14]

I feel the same as you do. I prefer to stay away from social events, especially with a large group of people.

I can go out for coffee or lunch with a couple people. But, anything mor than that stresses me out.

My husband accepts it. He likes to socialize and he just goes without me.

[sizzet in reply to Dolphin14]

Yeah I prefer 1 or 2, and also usually people I know well.

It's strange as it's not like I don't like people, I do - we had a little gathering the other day and I tried to hide away upstairs as long as possible!

[Dolphin14 in reply to sizzet]

I think it's some kind of insecurity? I think the issue for me is shame and judgement.

Shame of having the illness and judgement by those that look at me.

Oddly enough I would rather be stuck in a room full of people that don't know me. They have no clue about my life before illness.

I feel like the people that know me the best will make the judgement about how they think I'm doing.

Bottom line... I would rather be home lol

But life doesn't work that way.

[Padayn01]

WOW, that is exactly what i go through, i just cant talk to anyone for long periods of time its like my chest just closes up and my stomach gets churned and my breathing just goes funny and the only thing that will make it better is get away from the conversation, its just dread i hate it

[Kainan]

Hi. Yeah I can feel the same way. I don’t think anyone can sustain being super talkative and open to everybody all the time. We all need that space to ourselves to recharge our batteries and relax for peace of mind. So, if you don’t feel particularly up to talking to people or just being there with other people, that’s ok. You know you the best.

[sizzet]

Yeah true, I just feel like I don't feel friends are all that important and I've always felt let down by them.

I would rather be at home with my kids and wife. I do feel bad for my wife as shes very sociable and I feel like she would like me to be more like that.

[Blindmagg]

Absolutely! My fiancé and I are both like this actually. We’re both introverted people and don’t enjoy being around a large group of people. I also enjoy carrying on conversations with people but not in large groups. It’s completely draining and it’s like I need to get away to ‘recharge’. It’s totally normal, especially with anxiety! I’ve always had anxiety and it definitely makes certain things a bit more difficult. And that’s ok

[Hidden]

Absolutely ! .. I avoid when I can .. I’d rather be alone .. I choose my friendships very very carefully .. however have to be in right frame of mind to interact with them .. I do try however to interact socially .. as it’s something I know if I was anxiety free I would enjoy !

However, with anxiety it can be and I find it mentally draining. Plus I go over in my head the conversations iv had to make sure I spoke sensibly !

My Social anxiety has always been a matter for me .. and people say I come across confident ! Ha ! If only they knew

[Hidden]

All these replies are great ! Don’t feel alone with this matter .. wish there were support communities like this 30 or so years ago .. battled so long alone, thinking it is was just me in the world that felt uncomfortable with these sort of situations ! Such a shame ! Feel sometimes like some of my life has been wasted .. battling these fears .. when it is just ‘anxiety’ a very common condition ! Don’t like using the words ‘just anxiety’ as it’s a vile vile condition ...

[sizzet]

yeah would 100% agree that it's nice knowing that there are other people who do understand and thank you everyone for your comments. It's hard for people to understand who don't suffer when they say things like "just relax" or "stop stressing" ... if only it was a switch that could be turned on and off.

I've decided to make some life style choices to help with my anxiety e.g stopped drinking and smoking and am trying to do as much mentally to get my self in a position of just feeling more balanced.

I think this forum is really great and thanks again for all the comments

[Alladin]

I’m also an introvert so I just mostly listen to people when I am in a gathering and just learn from them. There are people who just brag about stuff but I find that most just love to talk about sports, Hollywood or politics. I just listen and let them talk. I do find sometimes that my wife drains me. She is mostly auditory while I am visual and she would verbalize things like when I am about to fix something, she would say “so you are going to do this? And then you will do that?” We both know what I am going to do but to verbalize it sort of drains me. Maybe this effect is happening to you if you are not primarily a verbal person.