Is this ever going to end?

Hi I have had severe anxiety for 25 yrs this last year being the absolute worst. I am bipolar and have ME as well. I have been very unwell for over a yr with many strange symptoms and chronic migraine. I have severe health anxiety , med phobia , food phobia due to severe allergic reaction that came on suddenly over the last yr. been told I am so anxious I am creating allergic reactions the minute I worry about having one!! This has ruined my life as I am afraid of everything. Cannot take any med for fear of anaphylaxis so live with pain and migraines daily. I see no end to this my fear is so great it's a vicious circle I need meds to become well but if I worry and take it I get an allergic reaction( food as well) and the cycle continues. Gp is at a loss my mental health team have no idea in three yrs what to do and every day I get sicker. I am convinced now I have a terrible illness and can't be cured. I'm so scared all the time. I am married with 4 boys and have missed so much of their lives to fear. My eldest just left for UNI and I am 40 next year and I cannot honestly say I have not had one single day anxiety free since I was 14!! I cannot go on anymore I am so scared of dying that I no longer live. I know nobody can help me I just needed to put pen to paper as such.

Thank you

4 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Hi! Brave , brave you! for putting pen to paper makes a huge difference! You are so young my dear. It's a crying shame that you feel so bad. Do you ever say to the anxiety " come on then...do your worst?" I suspect it already has done it's worst and cant. It is not going to go away ...but it can lessen considerably. I've kicked out in the past over medication and fear of addiction , reactions, you name it ? I'm still here babe, I still suffer but now with knowledge. This site has helped so much. You are not alone and yes , some days are shit! but you are still here too. You must try the medication and you must eat for your sake and your 4 boys sake. You are a brave lady that has been to hell and back. Please don't make it any worse.

    good luck xxxx

  • Hi my name is Jackie I really feel for you most of my life I've had one thing or other I'm now 49 and the last year has been so bad my anxiety is social I have emetophobia and lots of other odd things at the moment I feel I've been in bed for a year I was signed of work and do the basics at home then end up led on my bed again I'm sick of it I can't go walking because my emetophobia has led to agoraphobia so my legs constantly ache iam on meds I want to go out and live :(

  • Hi there!

    " I know nobody can help me" Well, not necessarily. it seems to me that you are in a vicious spiral of anxiety that has got tighter and tighter, and somewhere you need to "break" that cycle. Meds are not the only answer to anxiety - there are others, such as yoga, tai chi, hypnotherapy, counselling, etc. You need to - very slowly, it's built up over time - reduce the constant anxiety. There are some brilliant resources out there - just a few:

    This site has relaxation exercises/visualisations - quite short, only about 7 minutes (I still can't do long relaxation exercises!) Try:

    allaboutdepression.com/relax/

    Another excellent place to try is No Panic; you can join, but they also have other resources, including a short breathing exercise designed to slow the breathing and help you relax. Go to:

    nopanic.org.uk/

    The Crisis Message CD - which is a copy of the message you receive if you ring out of hours - is particularly good.

    Mind is a good source of information - mind.org.uk/

    and may know of support groups in your area,

    and The Samaritans: - samaritans.org/how-we-can-h...

    are there 24 hours a day, 365 days a week. They will listen, support, and not judge.

    If all this sounds like too much, then, (and I'm trying to do this, don't always succeed, so I know how difficult it can be!) once or twice a day, unplug the phone, set a timer for, say, 5 mins, close your eyes, and just BREATHE - IN counting One thousand, two thousand, three thousand, four thousand, then OUT counting One thousand, two thousand, three thousand, four thousand. If you can make the OUT breath longer than the IN breath, even better.

    Alternatively (and a GP once cured me of a mega panic attack over the phone by this method!) - find/get a clock/watch with a sweep second hand - not a digital one. Then, breathe IN as the second hand moves from, say, the 5 to the 10, then OUT as it moves from the 10 to the 15, and so on.

    All these are designed to slow down your breathing, which is largely responsible for all the anxious symptoms we get. I'm not promising a quick fix, but I do believe that if you can start to get your anxiety under control, you will start to be able to deal with the other issues.

    all the very best

    Love

    Rose xxxx

  • Hello sorry your having such a bad time you've had this since you were 14 you say nearly as long as me but look back at what you've done while you've had this got married had four children got one off to university ran a house bought up four children try not to be so hard on your self the other stuffs severe anxiety it's an awful illness very rarely shows itself on X rays blood tests never appears in a drs surgery it's a coward of an illness it daren't show itself most of the time to anybody else I used to think its some thing I've eaten taken meds wise some of mine were ridiculous for instance I thought I was allergic to potatoes but I could eat chips crisps no problems but not mashed potato or it used to set me off I hope you find the same strength to take these on not all at once but one at a time as you've showed bringing up your family I know it's hard take help where you can ....you take it easy and thanks for sharing with us ....Mel

You may also like...