changes in behaviour

Does anyone else have changes in their behaviour due to anxiety and stress? I have health anxiety and blushing and feel quite stressed in generally bringing up my children on my own. I find myself coping ok, eating ok, not drinking alcohol or smoking cigarettes etc then I can just flip. My behaviour temporarily chnages, I decide to drink , smoke and not eat much. This can happen monthly or not for months on end. I have noticed a pattern with PMT. Although I get temporarily release from this , it is so not worth it as the day after I am so ill and anxious.

When it comes to things like this you hear people say it is self inflicted / only self to blame which adds to the guilt I feel afterwards. I think it is more complicated than that and something happens in my brain to make me act like this. Is it possible I have some sort of personality disorder ? Bipolar ? or is this just normal human behaviour? When I try to figure out why I do this I just come up with the theory that my brain associates booze and cigarettes to younger times in my life when out partying and relaxed.... stress free.

Don't get me wrong this is the last thing I want to be doing but its like the association must be there in my brain. I think I need to retrain my head into new associations. Can anyone suggest anything / therapies? My friends tell me to meditate but when stressed my brain says otherwise!! Feel a bit weak and pathetic really at times.

Can anyone relate to this as I feel there is something wrong with me. All I want to do is be consistent really and learn to handle stress before it takes over.

I hope this makes sense I am tired .....thankyou x

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  • can I just add that even when being healthy I feel crap sometimes and over the last few weks have been worrying because of aches and pains I have been feeling. My brain says , well you feel crap anyway so why cut out the bad stuff. I know this is silly but if I felt fantastic maybe it would encourage me to continue healthily and not have lapses.

    Thanks x

  • Morning Rose. I can think we could all probably relate to changes in our behaviour caused by anxiety/stress some good some not so good and in my view the not so good can actually be good. Enough of the riddles what I'm saying is if you are bringing up kids on your own, on top of anxieties, that can be difficult at times so why not every now and then have a blow out, say sod you anxiety/stress I'm going to do something enjoyable. As long as they don't become a coping mechanism then why not!

    I don't drink alcohol that much these days 2 glasses of wine every now and then seems to be the limit any more and I know the day after anxiety will kick and I'll spend the day regretting it. I long for a complete blow out, I'd probably have to take the next week off work mind!!

    As for people's comments about it being self inflicted well yes it is but people say these off the cuff remarks without actually looking at the bigger picture I wouldn't be too concerned about them as I'm sure their intentions are not meant to have as big an impact as they may, that's not dismiss how they affect you. For me I would look at the context it is said in and how much that person knows me.

    Happiness is a great cure for all ills or maybe we just view things in a different light when happy so maybe you will still have a smoke or a drink or eat 'unhealthily' every now and then but not see it in such a negative light.

    I don't think you have bipolar or a personality disorder I just think you are reacting in a way that you're body/mind feels safe with. Just a thought! It will get better.

    x

  • spot on reply Hollow,n hey Rose,sounds like every now and then you like to let your hair down,well sod the world,we all need a bit of fun from time to time,alcohol does no harm in moderation,i smoke cigs too,wish i could stop,but to be honest,i enjoy a good cig at times i know its not healthy,but i worry about enough things anyway,without taking away the little pleasures i enjoy,if like us your coping with anxiety/stress/depression,then a bit release and enjoyment now and again,is good for the soul,as long as we don't resort to alcohol as a regular way of dispelling anxiety,

  • I forgot to thank you for your reply sorry , appreciate your words x

  • Hello hollow

    Thanks for the comment. you seem to have a good outlook on things and this is helpful for me thanks. I need to stop beating myself up I know but I think becasue I get ill afterwards I feel guilty. Also there is the guilt and pressure with the kids. My son gives me the most horrible looks if I smoke etc ... adding to the guilt. I think part of me rebells and thinks sod it I can do what I want. I will strive to be happy as I agree, I think the route cause is feeling unhappy . Thanks x I also wonder if talking to someone who behaves like this will help so I dont feel like it is only me x

  • You take care Rose, I am sure you are a good person, who is trying their best to cope with lifes challenges. Anxiety is normal amongst adults, cos there are many pressures to deal with...... Someone one told me you have to be your own best friend, ie talk kindly to yourself.... and try not to take on board any harsh comments.... With best wishes, Louisa

  • Thanks Louisa

    That is good advice. So silly I am always really kind to other people and tell them to do that but then dont do it for myself. Why not love yourself more? I will think about this one , best wishes x

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