How do I help my husband?

I've been suffereing with anxiety for past 5-7 months. Husband seems very apathetic and not with it. He seems to have no energy and isn't sleeping. I am worried that he to may be feeling anxious- and this is why he is unable to suppor me. He lost his job last year- I think he became depressed. I don't think he ever recovered- he just hides and denies how he really feels. What can I do for him when he refuses to go to the doctors or get help?

[hedgecrone]

If all attempts at encouraging him to talk have failed, you could go and see your GP and ask them for advice.

But I would suggest not giving up on trying to get through. YOu both need support. Maybe he's afraid of admitting to his feelings in case he 'weakens'. You are clearly a sensitive and observant person so maybe for the time being you could be the strong one for a while - go and give him a hug, and tell him you've noticed a change in him over the last year, and understand how difficult it must be for him since he's lost his job. Tell him that not sleeping, withdrawing and losing former enjoyment of life are all symptoms of depression which is an illness and NOT a sign of weakness. In fact someone called it 'Depression - the Curse of the Strong'. It's a sign he's tried to be strong for too long. Tell him that you both need support, that you will do your best to support him and that it's important that you talk to each other and tell each other how you feel. Be gentle; acknowledge his feelings if he tells you anything; try to help him see that you care, and that you don't think any less of him for feeling as he does. With luck and time he might begin to open up a bit, but be patient. Give him hugs; tell him that anxiety and depression are hell but that you can both get through it together and how about if you both sit down together and work out how you are going to overcome this - and what your next step should be.

Good luck - hope it helps a little.

[hollow]

Hi I agree with what the above poster says but if I could just add, I found it really difficult to admit I was suffering from depression to anyone let alone myself (when I did the weight off my shoulders was enormous) What helped me incredibly besides the support of people closest to me was a very simple (not childlike) illustrated book 'I had a black dog' by Matthew Johnstone. It hit the nail on the head so sweetly that I think GP's should prescribe it. I guess it won't be to everyone's liking but look it up it might just help. Good luck.