My Happiness Project :)

[Mandy26]

Hi Everyone.

For a while I have been feeling really down and didn't think I would ever get back to my normal self. Everybody on here has been so supportive and sent lovely messages. It really made me smile to receive them

Recently I've been making changes to how I go about things. I had a good heart to heart with my partner as I knew it was effecting our relationship. We barely spoke, I was snappy and just wanted to go to bed all of the time. Whilst he was worried about how I felt, we both agreed that because it was a frame of mind, I should make positive changes to try and influence how I feel. I've started eating a better diet, I have cut out alcohol and rarely touch caffeine. My partner allows me to have my own space when I need it and I go to bed a bit earlier now as tiredness played a big part in my moods.

I've also adopted some 'life rules' from the book I am reading (The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin) I've been preaching about this book recently but it is such an uplifting read and sometimes I feel like I am reading about myself. The rules I am using at the moment are 'Act how you want to feel' and the '1 minute rule'.

This morning I woke up at 6:00am to walk our dog, same as every morning. It was pouring down with rain and I was tired, so I wasn't in the best of moods. Usually I will start the walk feeling really tight chested because I'm wound up I have such a busy day ahead of me, but taking the tip from Gretchens book, I thought no, I want to feel happy. I enjoy walking the dog, don't taint the rest of the day. So I got up, smiled and 'acted how I wanted to feel' I got through my walk fine and felt better that I hadn't nagged at my boyfriend all morning as that usually makes me feel worse!

The 1 minute rule was such a small, simple change to make, but has made a huge difference. I usually get in from work, plop myself on the couch and think about how much I have to do and how I don't want to do it. In turn, I get myself frustrated and annoyed and it ruins my day further. Now, when I think that I have to do something, I just do it. I feel so much better that I clear things out as the day goes by and I'm not left with a list spiralling out of control. It's also given me confidence in myself again that I'm not useless

I really hope I can keep this up but at the moment I feel like I am making good progress.

xx

[hedgecrone]

Good for you But tell me, what's the one minute rule? I have her book but haven't read it yet because I was feeling so low I kind of felt it was a bit smug and reading it might make me feel worse by comparing myself to her (something I often do, unfortunately!)

But I am glad it works for you. Keep posting. x

[Mandy26 in reply to hedgecrone]

Hi Hedgecrone,

I hope my post didn't come across too 'look at what I'm doing' lol. I find that I've felt really good when I've read peoples positive blogs about how they're doing so I thought I would break my chain of moaning and post something upbeat

I didn't explain the one minute rule very well did I. It's basically, rather than sitting thinking about what you have to do, you get up and do it 'within the minute' so to speak. I think Gretchen's example was not looking into a bill for weeks and it constantly playing on her mind and frustrating her, until one day she did it as soon as she thought about it, realised how simple it was and that she should have done it straight away to avoid the weeks of thinking about it and making it into a big deal.

I actually thought the book would be a bit pretentious, and although Gretchens not in the throws of anxiety and depression, I just found that I could relate to what she was saying. It was actually surprising to see how negatively she looked at her self at times. I've found it really inspring too. I'm quite the fan lol. I'd definitely say it's given me a bit of a boost and made me realise that if I want a nice happy life, I have to do something about it.

I do that too (compare myself to people) and that's been one of my major downfalls recently. Always thinking my life will never be as good as other peoples which has made me feel really inferior. 'They have this, they have that' When actually, if I want that kind of life, only I can make it that way.xx

[lonestar]

well done Mandy ,nice positive thinking ,the book spunds intresting ,hope u had a good day and nothing gets in ur way ,and again well done X

[lonestar]

the book sounds lol ,not spunds : ) x my whoops lol !

[Hidden]

Hi Mandy, It sounds really positive - you go for it.

I think I may have a go at adopting this approach myself. I just need to break the cycle of "how my body feels" affecting my mood. I can wake up feeling fine, then have lunch a bit late and drop off a cliff for the rest of the day as get dizzy, numb hands, wobbly head etc. Got to try and ignore that as I know it will go away in due course. Or I wake up feeling like that and forget that tomorrow could be a completely different day.

I had holidays last 2 weeks and had 10 out of 14 anxiety free days - back home and back to work and it has hit again. Think I may have found what causes the stress!!!

Keep smiling Mandy and best of luck. Karen x

[Mandy26 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Karen. Thank you for your reply

I can relate, I've noticed over recent weeks that my anxiety comes from my work too. Trying my best to get out of where I am.

Hope you continue your anxiety free days as that sounds really positive! (even if work is a pain!)

xx

[F_Shadow1]

Well done sounds great, hope you feel better for it!

[Scooby1234]

Thats great Mandy - so lovely to hear you positive Keep going!!!! You can do this!!

[AuctionGirl]

That sounds really great, and I'm glad it's making you feel better. They've scientifically proved that the simple act of smiling releases feel good chemicals so forcing yourself to smile or "act how you want to feel" genuinely works.

[Mandy26]

Thank you everyone for the lovely comments i think everyone sounds in great spirits at the minute.

xx

[KevinManchester]

That is the way to beat it. I back you 100%. Thinking positive or being in the company of positive people does help. It lifts your mood, makes you happy and gives you less time to think about anxiety. I relate to the bills thing. I used to get a bill, hide it in a drawer hoping it would go away. It does cause stress. Now when I get a bill of any kind I pay it the same day, job done, bang, stress disappeared. Motivation is also key. This is the basis of CBT and reminds me of the course I attended.

Lets have more positive stories folks...

Kevin

[lisa35]

good x

[lisa35]

i agree kevin i was like that with my memory forgetting to pay them and stuff so i try pay them as soon as they come now cuse its stress stress stress xx