My boyfriend finds my anxieties hard to un... - Anxiety Support
My boyfriend finds my anxieties hard to understand and comprehend as he is not scared of anything, does anyone else have this problem?
I do know where you are coming from on this. My husband is quite laid back and just does not get it - he is as good as he can be but without really understanding what it feels like I can't expect him to fully understand. He has at times lost his patience with me (I can hardly blame him) because in his mind he is totally rational and he doesn't see why I would feel the way I do, but I couldn't do it without him - and to be honest I wouldn't want him to truly understand what it feels like because to do that he would have to go through it himself and I would never wish that on him! He is my absolute rock!
Wow, youve totally put in words exactly how i feel too, my husband is exactly the same! My husband is very laid back,nothing phases him! I think my anxiety is mainly health anxiety and my husband is never ill at all, so he really doesnt understand...he takes no medication but i get given all sorts! Weve become quite distant whilst ive been bad and i feel like im letting him and my children down!
You should try not to feel like that, he probably feels helpless that he can't make it better for you, but him just being there in the background probably helps a surprising amount without you even realising it. Sometimes when I am utterly hysterical I can see that he despairs of me but I know that it is just because he wants me to feel happy and be the person he knows and loves, instead of the emotional wreck that I become! I know I couldn't have got so far without him though, just talking to him sometimes is enough to bring me back to the real world!!
Hello Lozenge, yes I can identify with you on this one - my husband doesnt get it at all, weve been married for donkeys years and have 2 daughters.He is very strong character wise and also extremely logical, so he just doesnt get what is an unlogical problem like anxiety!
I dont bother him with it unless Im at excrutiating point, I have found my female friends supportive and understanding, and I get almost all the suport I need in that way from them. He is supportive in that he has always stood by me when I thought I was going crazy with anxiety. I have found over the years its a trade off with each - he is always there and always goes to work, he is extremely strong physically and emotionally like a lot of men which I have found on balance after so many years is good, someone else of lesser strength may have found it too much coping with a wife with anxiety.
Id be interested to see what you think of my angle.
AnnecC.
I feel like you've taken the words out of my mouth! My boyfriend is the same! He cares about me and does help but he doesnt understand at all, anxiety has definitely created a wedge between us! He doesn't have any fears at all, doesn't understand why I can't just do things that to him just come naturally! He too is never ill, never goes doctors, never takes medication! I often feel guilty that I am the way I am and he doesn't have a normal
Partner! X
I understand how you feel I think unless someone has experienced Anxiety before they can't really understand. Iv'e explained to my boyfriend how I feel he does feel bad for me and I am worried at the moment it will cause problems for our relationship but I believe if someone truly loves you they should stand by you when you experience something like this.
I have spoken to my best friend mainly because I have known nearly all my life and can tell her exactly how I feel.
Some things my husband says makes me feel worse,but i do try and say to myself,he clearly just doesnt understand what its like!....i know this is personal but i have no sex drive and have no motivation to be intimate,but thats not what i want,i think my husband thinks im going off him! We have 2 children and love eachother so much but i feel that i push him away because i feel so bloody crap all the time!
Hi Lozenge. Do we have the same boyfriend? Lol! It's like you're talking about my partner. He's a very 'brush your shoulders off' kind of person and believes everything is mind over matter, so until I had an attack in front of him he was quite frustrated with me, but I think this is because he didn't understand. When he witnessed the attack I think he realised how scary it was and it wasn't something I could control. I'm so thankful for him though because he has really helped me. For the times he gives me grief, he also helps me.
It sounds as thought your relationship is very positive though 
x
HI, i can totally understand your situation, my boyfriend just does not get it and as far as im concered its tearing us apart. i feel very alone most of the time. x
My partner is really good he just reassure me Im fine and nothing is going to happen .he gets frustrated that he can't help me more its got to be hard for all our partners
hi all went to doc gave me mirtazipine on tuesday still too scared to take them after the experiance with citralapam i went with slight anxiety and those tablets floored me i am sure they are still in my system i was never like this before taking citralapam they made my anxiety 10 times worse i cant seem to recover from them sharoniou what happened to you when you took them is any one on this site on mirtazipine if so feedback PLEASE x
Hi milo they made my anxiety worse i couldn't sleep was shaking all the time dry mouth just felt terrible with them i was only on them for two weeks and never want to be on them again
sorry wrote in wrong place only started using computer few weeks ago yes my partner is very good but does not fully understand keeps telling me to take meds i try to explain i dont think i can tolerate them then he says i am not helping myself my friends are the same they dont fully understand no one knows what it is like untill you go through it yourself i was an auxilliary nurse for 15 years on psychiatric ward thank god i never said NOW GET IT TOGETHER i always had time for patients and always gave them a cuddle i used to tell them hold on to me and have a good cry sometimes it really does help to be frightened of the unknown is terrifing x
It's very hard, all mental Illnesses are different for everyone...which makes it hard for other people to understand you. I think in a relationship when you have a mental illness it's best to keep communicating with your partner, If he/she doesnt understand from observing your symptoms just keep explaining how hard it is for you, And see how that goes. With me being Bipolar, My relationship with my boyfriend is very very hard, every day is an uphill struggle, but through my tantrums,Hallucinations and irritability my boyfriend helps me, I've explained to him my problems and why i have them, that made him understand more, He is very logical..and with my condition so am i, by going through why i have these problems and my fears he was able to relate to it in some way, And help me through things.
What im saying is people wont understand fully, And it may make you feel alone in this and like you are in some way abnormal, but think how many people have a mental illness, You are not alone, Just try and put your feelings in a way that your partner can relate to.
Thats what worked for me.
Not what you're looking for?
You may also like...
Related Posts
Does anyone else get super happy when their anxiety's not present 
Anxiety disorder - Does anyone have high blood pressure from anxiety?Moderation team
